Some women can be so darn infuriating! (long)

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  1. I was at the lab, waiting to have some routine bloodwork done yesterday, when I got to talking to another pregnant lady. I brought up that DD was born via emergency c-section due to the fact that I had been laboring for 12 hours and in that time my BP had bottomed out,and DD's heartrate had become erratic (not to mention I hadn't dilated past 3cm the last 4 hours and DD wasn't progressing into the birth canal)... fearing for the safety of both of us my OB/GYN advised me to have an emergency c-section. :cry:I was so scared, as I've NEVER had surgery before, and my DH was terrified he was going to lose us both...:sad: Needless to say, DD and I came out fine, but it was a very harrowing and emotional roller coaster for me and DH... not to mention our family and friends.


    Being pregnant for the second time, I also mentioned to her that DH and I have already planned w/my OB to deliver DS via c/s, and while the OB was at it to do a tubal ligation. We figured it would be the safest way to deliver DS with little risk to me and him (considering what happened the last time around). The lady looked at me w/sympathy and said, "Oh honey, don't you feel like you're taking the easy way out?" HA!!! I don't know why these women assume that having a c/s is the "easy way out"? :cursing::cursing::cursing: (I seriously wanted to just :bagslap: her!) Just because we won't/don't have to endure the labor part??? True, but we have the entire recovery process to deal with... which could take months for some women! We can barely walk, breastfeeding positions need to be altered in order to accomodate holding a baby while avoiding the incision site, in fact almost all aspects of life need to be altered in order to accomodate for the incision site, I was on pain meds for 2 weeks just to be able to get by during the day, and I wasn't allowed to drive for 4 weeks because I had just had major surgery and my OB had to report it to DMV! Can you believe it! I was completely dependent on my husband and my family & friends to help me do even the simplest chore of grocery shopping!

    Truth be told, when I found out I was pregnant a second time I was considering a vbac delivery just to PROVE to people that I wasn't lazy :shame:... but being an RN I know the medical risks I would be taking and that far outweighed everything else for me. In addition we only really want 2 kids (hence the tubal ligation), and trying to "prove" whatever to whoever was a completely ridiculous reason to choose such a risky delivery. These reasons made the decision to opt for a 2nd c/s the best one for us.



    Either way a woman chooses, or is advised to deliver her child(ren) is always going to be the best and safest thing for her and baby... I wish those women (who look down on us) would stop and think before they say these things to us. I don't think they realize how difficult it really is. Especially if you had intended to deliver vaginally, and did everything you could to do so, and in the end medical complications arose that prevented it... When I realized my BP and my daughter's HR were so erratic I freaked out so bad that if the doctor told me the only way to deliver my daughter safely would be to take her out of my butt (!) I would have totally gone along with it! :PWhen you're in a situation where the life of your child may be at risk (when you've gone through so much to ensure a safe delivery) no option is ever the "easy way out".
     
  2. :rolleyes: Some people! I've done both, and NEITHER way of birthing a baby is easy!
     
  3. OMG! this is my BIGGEST complaint after having my daughter! same type of situation, my labor wasn't progressing, i was spiking a fever that they couldn't control with tylenol. i was dilated but she wasn't moving down. turns out she was all wrapped up in the cord. i was induced at 5pm and it wasn't until 3 or 4 pm the next day when things started to look bad and doc said c section was what needed to be done. i never had surgery either. i was crying and shaking for 30 minutes until i pulled myself together. it just was never what i thought would happen to me in a million years. she was born after 7pm. 26 hours! yea, that's the "easy" way out. and recovery?!? UGH! the pain meds were about as helpful as taking tic tacs. i went back to work after 12 weeks and felt no where near 100% normal. it's hard either way, you have pain "down below" or you have pain at your incision. it's not the easy way out. i hate stupid people!
     
  4. This bothers me, too! When talking with girlfriends about pregnancy/delivery, I often get the, "Oh but you wouldn't know what I'm talking about, you were LUCKY and had only C-sections." Ummmmmm, from what I recall, recovering from my C-sections was NOT a walk in the park! In fact, I could barely walk, period! For like 5-7 days I was hobbling around like an old lady, wincing in pain with every laugh or cough, when a lot of the women who deliver vaginally are up and around on Day One!!!

    A lot of women are just plain immature, silly, and wanting to provoke others into pissing contests, i.e. who was tougher and had the harder delivery, etc. Please. Who cares HOW the baby gets into the world....just as long as it gets into the world healthy and in one piece! A lot of people just miss the whole point.
     
  5. The ignorance is incredible. And this is part of the reason that women feel like they have somehow "failed" when they have a c-section, which is absolutely ridiculous. Growing and delivering a baby is not easy, no matter how you look at it; there is no "easy way out." I've had both deliveries, and neither is "easy". It all comes down to the best thing to safeguard the health of mother and baby.
     
  6. There's always something isn't there? Why do women do this? If we have a c-section it's the "easy way out", if we are unable to breastfeed we've failed, if our children fuss it because we are not disciplining them enough - and on and on it goes, tearing each other apart with snide remarks ... if only we could smile and say "Bravo sister, you're doing a GREAT job".
     
  7. some people really just do not know when to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business. It's sad that most women are so quick to jump on others for their choices or lack there of.

    Both are hard and both deserve all the credit in the world.
     
  8. Unfortunately, I think a lot of women feel that way because using C-sections as easy-way-outs has become more and more common these days. There are women out there who WANT C-sections and there are plenty of doctors willing to do them because it makes their job easier (and faster!). I can see how it would be frustrating to have someone minimize your C-section experience, but can't you see how someone might feel like a C-section removes the work (or labor) from "labor and delivery?" I have had two kids, not by C-section, but I have close friends who have had C-sections so I know how difficult the recovery was for them. I certainly don't think any less of the C-section experience and I know that in many cases, women don't have a choice.
     
  9. I think the focus on the method of delivery is much like people obsessing over a wedding instead of the marriage. People make a big deal out of big weddings, but the people married in the courthouse are just the same. It is the marriage that counts; not how you arrived there. And no matter how you look at it, natural delivery or a c-section gives you a child, and you experience the same sleepless nights, worries, and endless love for your child as every other mother. Women should focus on the things that unite them, not artificial divides.
     
  10. I always look forward to reading your responses. Very well said
     
  11. I had two c sections they were scheduled, not labor involved but for serious medical reasons. My last one was pretty serious, as my bp kept going up. There is nothing about major surgery to me that signifies an easy way out. We all suffer in our own ways.What is hard for one person may be easier for another but what keeps us going is the idea that a healthy baby will result from our excruciating experience. My last c-section was enough to say I am totally done and don't want to do it ever again lol !
     
  12. It looks like I will be having my baby delivered by the c-section in the 3 weeks time (she is a breech) unless she turns head down.

    And according to what I've been reading, so far the c-section seems to be everything but "the easy way out"!

    And the lengthy recovery period...oh....
     

  13. Well said!! I love your posts too. I wish women could unite instead of judge, put down and make assumptions about other.
     
  14. oh yes major surgery, painful recovery is such an "easy" way out. I did not have a c-section with my girls, but plenty of friends and family had to have c-sections and I definitely did NOT see them up and about how I was a couple days after the delivery!!!
     
  15. #15 Jan 30, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
    well said dallas
    to the op giving birth either ways is medically a rebirth for us. And no way is easy way out.
    Though i sooooooooooooo wish there was an easy way out.