Social- Are you and if you're not is it a disorder?

ewhitake

ewhitake

NoCalDiva
O.G.
Mar 16, 2007
274
0
#1
I am not a social person. I don't have friends and I don't like to socialize much. It makes me uneasy to be at parties or have people in my home. I know, I know...your first instinct is to pitty me. But don't. I'm married with 4 sons, a husband and a father living at home. I am an only child and learned to entertain myself. I learned early that being part of a crowd doesn't bring you happiness if you're not happy with yourself. Unlike most people I know I'm not afraid to shop, dine, take in a movie or explore a new city on my own. I think I'm fortunate in not needing to have people around just to enjoy life.
But I've heard that being anxious at parties etc is a medical disorder and there is a pill for it. Just because I don't do parties I need to take a drug?
What do you think?
 
#2
I've always been similar to what you've described, perhaps more severe, always done things on my own and also planning out how I will do things/what to say to people even in small situations.
As for disorders, it could be a form of social phobia. Maybe you could see a therapist if you want to be sure.

I have Aspergers syndrome, it runs in my family and those traits (social anxiety) make up a large part of the diagnostic criteria.

:smile:
 
#3
It's called introverted. I am the same. Don't worry, it's not a personality disorder, just a personality trait. There's nothing wrong with being quiet. If you are purposely staying inside out of fear of meeting people and your nervous system is so overworked that you are constantly sweating and breaking out in hives and palpitations at the thought of social interaction, then I think you have concern. Remember, it is not a problem until it interferes with normal everyday functioning. I've never understood why American society glamorizes popularity and trains young people to believe that happiness is only attainable if you have 100 people surrounding you at all times. To me, that's called narcissism and that is a disorder.
 
#4
You don't sound "disordered" to me, LOL. I'm not very social either, outside of work and my family (which is really just my DH). Frankly I find other people tiresome after a bit. I like to be alone. I think it's a valuable skill to have, the ability to entertain oneself and be able to tolerate being alone. If more women (and men too, I guess) could learn to enjoy being by themselves, there probably wouldn't be so many disastrous relationships out there.
 
#5
I'm not very social either.... I think I play with my books all the time, i am prefer to write then to speak. I do have fun in parties and meet lot of people on the same time (in a group), but if in individual basis, i couldnt speak, LOL.

I dont know it is a disorder or not, i guess i'm just a geek, hehehe
 
#6
I'm just as happy with my own company pottering around too. I'm not anti-social but I do chose who, when, why I go out. If I don't go out for weeks on end it really doesn't bother me.
 
#7
I'm the same way. I've always been able to keep myself entertained...sure I go out with my friends a couple times a month but I don't feel like being with other people completes me or anything. I basically grew up as an only child since my brother is 15 years older than me and had moved out by the time I was about 6 so I always entertained myself by reading. It's not a big deal, some people think it's weird that I hang out with my parents a lot but I really don't. I'm close to them, I live with them and I get along with them really well.
Anyway I kind of digressed there. I don't think it's a disorder at all, it's just being more introverted as cutiepie21 said.
 
#8
Hmmm, this sounds like me.

I also have no friends and I only socialise with my fiance and my family.

Sometimes I feel a bit lame and other times I feel like I don't care.

The thing is, I could have friends; I am not afraid of people and folks do like me, however (this will sound bad) I actually don't really like anyone very much.

I am 26 and still doing an undergrad at uni, so the people I see everyday are 20 year olds who like pubs/clubs and overusing the word 'like'. They also think skinny jeans are the best things ever invented.

I've decided that when I do get sick of my own company I will join a middle-aged bookclub or a bridge club for retirees! :smile:
 
#9
Oh, to answer the original question, no I don't think it is a disorder. I also wouldn't take a drug just so I could feel comfortable at a party.

Anyway, you are only friendless in the real world! In the virual world you are a social butterfly! :balloon:
 
#10
sounds like me too. i'm not a social person either. i'm pretty quiet when i'm surrounded by people, esp. those who i don't know. i only have a few friends that i talk to. i use to think that i'm weird for being shy, but i think it's just part of who i am and i can't change it. i tried to be more interactive with people at one point but i felt like i was trying too hard and it wasn't me. i hope it's not a disorder. i think it's just a personality trait.
 
#11
funny you mentioned this... i just talked to my bf, and he was saying that his friends think i'm anti-social and dislike them, just because i'm a little more quiet and reserved than they are! i'll admit that i am rather shy when meeting new people, and especially in larger groups. i wouldn't say i'm anti-social... i'm just not very outgoing, and i've always been this way. when i was growing up, i was somewhat of a loner, had very few friends, and was always doing things on my own.

as an adult, i have no problems making friends.. it takes me awhile to feel comfortable enough to open up and be more talkative around them... but i tend to be more of a listener than a talker. i have a handful of close friends, and many acquaintances that i've met through mutual friends. it really depends on the person i'm talking to... if i can find something in common, i can be really chatty... otherwise, not so much.

i don't think it's necessarily a disorder either... i'm sure if you feel that it is really a problem and hinders your daily life, you can get it checked out.
 
#12
haha! i think a lot of us are on this side of the fence...it's the reason we love the internet.

i have always been quiet and kept to myself. that said, i was always in several activities, and i have no problem working in groups or being introduced to people. i have always been very family oriented and am lucky to have insanely fun parents who never make me feel like it's a chore to hang out with them. i tend to build up anxiety myself and i have overcome that by working out and getting proper rest and just making myself plain get over it. i don't think i'd ever see a therapist for...you just have to realize that interacting with people isn't half as bad once it's over.
 
#13
only social when I really like the people but not interested to constantly meet someone new - too draining IMo and I don't have the time. not at all a disorder for me, not everyone constantly wants to get to know others.
 
#14
I'm almost thirty & I'm a lot more comfortable with myself now than when I was in my teens & early twenties.... I like my books & my "me time", and as long as I have my SO & best friend, that's all I really need... I never have more than 2 or 3 people who are close to me at any given point in my life.

I'm friendly, but I'm pretty solitary.

Y'know... I figured out I was a "mirror" a long time ago...LOL... I'm better at reflecting & redirecting other people's light, than shining on my own. I prefer to be out of the spotlight. It works out, bc SO & best friend are "people-persons" LOL
 
#15
If you're content with your situation then that's the best way to be. I know I am happy with my DH and my pets and freeze up in social situations.

I do like dance and music classes, though. I'm around people, yet they are held at a distance.
 
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