so, how long do you wait for a guy to call?

amanda

amanda

I Bleed Georgia Red
Oct 18, 2005
11,159
15
#1
for whatever reason, i've never really found myself in the situation of giving a guy my number and waiting for a phone call - things have always taken a different route in the nearly 6 years that i've been dating. but now, i'm in that situation, and i don't know what to expect.

i met a guy on saturday night, and we really hit it off (or at least i thought we did). he asked for my number and if i'd like to see him again fairly early in the night, it obviously wasn't an afterthought or a formality (i would think that he would wait for the last minute if that was the case). i was happy to give it to him. we had a great time, he walked me to my car at the end of the night, we made out a little, a good time in general.

so now, it's tuesday night, and i haven't heard from him. it still seems like a reasonable time frame for me, but my roommates say that if he doesn't call by the end of the night, i should assume that he has moved to the Island of Lost Men. i felt like i played the night flawlessly, and he seemed SO in to me.

so what gives? should i assume that he's dead yet?
 
#2
Oh well.. I don't think I know of a specific timeframe where you should let it go, but I've found things work out for the best when I don't worry about it so much. I try to focus on what I need to do in the day and so on, and suddenly, *the* phone call!
Don't sweat it. Just let things happen. I know it's easy to say but trust me, it works. And if he doesn't call, well he's the one that's missing out!!
Best wishes!
 
#3
^^^ ITA

By the way, guys don't think about making social plans until the last minute. So if you don't hear from him until Friday or Saturday, that is normal. Annoying but normal.

If you don't hear from him by Sunday evening, forget him.

If you get any other offers for the weekend, take them!!! If he calls, it will do him good to let him know you are not sitting around the phone waiting for life to happen.
 
#4
hi amanda I hope you are well. It's only tuesday night, maybe he's busy with school or work, and hasn't had time to call you yet. I think that 7 days is an acceptable time in waiting for a guy to call. Don't stress yourself over it, the chase is fun!
 
#5
I am assuming you are in school? Maybe he is busy with school, work, or whatever. Why wait for him to call you? If you have his number, just text him and just say "hi, what's up" or something simple. There is no right or wrong way to "dating".

I remember when the book "The Rules" came out, and it was the biggest bunch of bs I have ever read. They said something like, don't ever call a man. Don't accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday. Plus some other brilliant advice I can't recall. In my experience, men like an aggressive woman. Call him and if he doesn't return your call, move on.
 
#6
HubbaWubba said:
I am assuming you are in school? Maybe he is busy with school, work, or whatever. Why wait for him to call you? If you have his number, just text him and just say "hi, what's up" or something simple. There is no right or wrong way to "dating".

I remember when the book "The Rules" came out, and it was the biggest bunch of bs I have ever read. They said something like, don't ever call a man. Don't accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday. Plus some other brilliant advice I can't recall. In my experience, men like an aggressive woman. Call him and if he doesn't return your call, move on.
Click to expand...

i do agree that The Rules are BS, and like i said, i still think i'm within a reasonable timeframe (even though my roommates continue to try and convince me otherwise). i'm in college, and he teaches at a local high school, so i don't doubt that he's got things to do.

the not calling doesn't bother me so much as the fact that i may have read the signals incorrectly - that's never happened before. if he doesn't call, it's his loss, i wouldn't be upset - but i don't like being wrong!

i'll give it a few days and maybe send him a text message, even though i don't want to, and not because i think it's bad to call a guy. the reason that i wouldn't want to is that he said several times that HE would call, and if he likes me as much as he should, the possible risk should be well worth the possible reward for him. if it's not, then it's not worth my time to call him. or at least that's how i see it - he knows that the ball is in his court. he put it there.

all the advice is very much appreciated, though, because like i said, for whatever reason, i've never been in this situation before.
 
#7
Well, let's see, with Mr Puff, who is the only one who counts, shortly after the first time I set eyes on him, after a decent interval of sitting down and fanning myself rather vigorously with a handful of takeout menus, by pure coincidence, I realized that I had been putting off organizing a particular group event for too long already, and I made sure that those who would be informing people of the time and place, etc had an up-to-date list, which coincidentally happened to include Mr Puff's sister.

Mr Puff made sure that he did not leave the event without my phone number.

I did not hear from him until well after lunchtime the next day.
 
#8
Decide that you hate him and he will call within 30 minutes.
Seriously, guys don't have the same dateline we do. If he calls great, if not, there are more fishies in the sea.
 
#9
i agree, you are still within reasonable timeframe. I say that you should text him. There's nothing wrong with taking a little initative action. Who knows, he might have lost your number and is pulling his hair out trying to figure out a way to reach you.
Good luck and keep us posted. :yes:
 
#11
ShimmaPuff said:
Well, let's see, with Mr Puff, who is the only one who counts, shortly after the first time I set eyes on him, after a decent interval of sitting down and fanning myself rather vigorously with a handful of takeout menus, by pure coincidence, I realized that I had been putting off organizing a particular group event for too long already, and I made sure that those who would be informing people of the time and place, etc had an up-to-date list, which coincidentally happened to include Mr Puff's sister.

Mr Puff made sure that he did not leave the event without my phone number.

I did not hear from him until well after lunchtime the next day.
Click to expand...

that's the thing, he was VERY specific about getting the number. i watched him put it in his phone.

i think i'll text him friday afternoon if i don't hear from him.
 
#13
Hi Amanda,
I think you are doing good to waiting until Friday to text him. Give him time! But is he a nice guy? You mentioned he teaches at a school and you are still in college. Did you get his story? He's not committed, is he? I'm not trying to be nosey, I'm just old and tend to worry a lot! I would ask my little sister the same questions...
 
#14
gr8heart said:
Hi Amanda,
I think you are doing good to waiting until Friday to text him. Give him time! But is he a nice guy? You mentioned he teaches at a school and you are still in college. Did you get his story? He's not committed, is he? I'm not trying to be nosey, I'm just old and tend to worry a lot! I would ask my little sister the same questions...
Click to expand...

i asked our mutual friend (the one who threw the party - he is actually my boss, i've known him for a couple years) and he said that he was a really good guy. i trust his opinion, he's a very blunt and honest person and wouldn't want to see me hurt. i'm 21, he's 28. he teaches high school history. myspace indicates that he is single. he was exceptionally gentlemanly the entire night. i got no negative indications from him. he wouldn't even let me walk across the parking lot to my car by myself.

which is why i'm puzzled by the not calling. but i'll give him until the end of the week.
 
#15
When was his last login date...that should confirm life or death.

I'd wait til Thurs, then send a text saying hi and that you were thinking about going to XYZ club/bar. Something like "Hey, just wanted to say hi. A bunch of us will be at Bar 69, come say hi and I'll let you buy me a drink ;) " Go from there.
I'm notorious for making plans at the last minute. Sometimes it was cause the girl I really wanted to hang with cancelled, so I was going to girl 2. Doesn't matter in the end cause that's how girl 2 becomes girl 1.
 
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