Smokers, please help me understand what he's going through?!?

  1. :sad: My DH is quitting smoking again after picking it up again (he went without for almost a year, then started back up when work got too stressful). Tonight he asked me if I would go get him a cigar (I always used to because he doesn't drive). I know he is feeling bad from the withdrawl, but I've vowed to no longer be an enabler, so I told him no. He seems so uncomfortable right now, and it's hard for me to see him having such a hard time, but I feel like I have to stand my ground. He's had the "quit-smoking" lozenges but says they don't help much. He is usually so lively, but right now he is sitting at his computer all quiet and fidgety, and it's getting tough to look at. Is there any way I can make him feel better?
  2. Tell him you know it's hard, and that you'll be there to help him every step of the way (but don't enable him).

    And maybe buy him some bubblegum cigars.
  3. ^^ That is pretty good idea. I am trying to get my dh to stop smoking and I don't know where to start. I refuse to buy him cigarettes and that helps a little. I would like to know from some others too.
  4. Its soo hard for a non smoker to understand, but try your best! My Mum and my Grandma smoke and they have just set off to the Carribean, they cant even go 10 hours on a flight without a ciggy so they use these nicorette stick, they are a plastic stick with a small cartridge of nicotine in it. They really help them get through the flight, so to wean your DH off the ciggys maybe suggest these for him for when he gets the really bad cravings rather than just going cold turkey.
  5. To be 100% honest...In order to be successful a smoker has to want to quite FOR THEMSELVES...not for their spouses, but for THEMSELVES.

    I myself am an ex smoker and after trying to quit MANY times (for other reasons) it finally hit me one day, that I didn't want to do this anymore, and I wanted to quit. Now.

    the first few days/week is rough...getting the nicotine out of your system is hard if you've gone "cold turkey". I, personally, gradually cut down over the course of a few weeks, to the point where I was only smoking 3 a day, and I didn't even enjoy them. So I just stopped.

    Be sure there is some gum in the house, maybe lollipops or blowpops...something to help with the oral fixation. But please don't cave and buy him a cigar/smokes OR harp on him if he does fail. Quitting smoking is hard, and not many people will do it on the first or third try. Just quietly support him and know that once he's gone through the withdrawal, he'll come around and go back to being himself.

    just my opinion...
  6. I might get flamed for saying this...but quitting smoking really isn't THAT hard.

    It's physically addictive yes....but I honestly believe that some people are just more high on the drama of quitting than others.

    The physical effects subside after 10-14 days and after that it's ALL a mental addiction.

    I would highly suggest picking up a copy of the book "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking" by Alan Carr. It will change his entire way of thinking about smoking and bring to light a lot of misconceptions about it.

    I read the book and quit cold turkey without any troubles at all (no withdrawls, jitters, etc.) after smoking heavily for 10 years. After it worked for me 4 of my other friends read the book and also quit cold turkey without a problem.

    It's definitely worth checking out.

    In any case....good luck to him!!
  7. I'm a smoker too and you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to beat the PSYCHOLOGICAL addiction, as the previous poster said. I have a hard time finding what to do on my cigarette break if it isn't smoking and such.

    Don't give in and buy him fags, no matter how pouty he gets. In the end, it's for the better. Just make sure he knows you're there for him and you understand what he's going through. I've been told drinking lots of water with a straw helps replace the feeling of inhaling.
  8. I've lived with three people that went through the misery of quitting smoking. The one common thread to success for them was finding something else to do with their hands and their mouths (Be nice ya'll. This is a PG rated forum!). My father swore by Nicorette gum to help him past the physical hurdle of giving up those last few ciggies. The ex-husband and later my current husband used hard candies, lollipops and in both cases, they unfortunately chewed their finger nails. Ugly granted, but it beats dying of cancer.

    The other thing is to remove themselves from routines where they would normally smoke: ciggie with coffee in the AM, ciggies after a meal etc.

    Finally, just finding something to do to occupy their time and minds with something other than the next ciggie.

    There are so many new advances in smoking cessation. If he's sitting in front of the computer all day, he can be researching this. If all fails, get him to the family MD for some help. Quitting is hard, but it can be done. It just takes the desire to do it and the right support system to get over the hurdles.

    In closing, my DH quit smoking over 25 years ago. He tells me quite often that there STILL isn't a single day that goes by that he doesn't want a ciggie. It's a powerful addiction, for certain!
  9. My bf went on Zyban to quit smoking and he went kinda crazy for a while and for the first month, he was still smoking. He's quit now but he still has the occasional cig or cigar when he's drinking, which drives me crazy. Give him some time and some space, his body is just going through withdrawal. He will start to feel better in a few days and food will start tasting better, etc.
  10. ^ :yes:. I also quit from one day to another - for my hubby no less but because I wanted to. my father as well. for me, I will be honest, there is too much drama and fuss attached to quitting smoking. I didn't have any side effects - maybe a week or two a few more sweets than usual but if I also started an exercise routine at the same time so i wasn't into over-eating.

    I totally understand you feel for your husband but he will be over it soon enough. just dont let it get to you! (this is from a previous smoker ;))