ok, i've never been a bridesmaid before, so i'm not sure how these things work, but i've just been asked by the bride's siter to help pay for the bridal shower. a bridal shower i have to travel 500 miles to go to(i don't even drive, i have no idea how i'm getting there), 5 months before the wedding, miss a weekend of work for, and it wasn't even polite, it was just, i want to split this up evenly, you get no say about the decorations or the hall, but you have to pay for it. they are aware of my finacial situation, and seemingly don't care. in fact have made the lovely offer of my sleeping on their mom's couch so i can go to this super fun weekend. is it the norm for the bridesmaids to pay for the shower? i'm this far from telling them i can't afford to go, which i really can't.