Should I stay or should I go? Lost, so lost. :(

  1. #1 Jul 9, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2012
    I’m lost.

    I was doing some freelance work from 2008 – 2011 and I enjoyed it very much as I was working from home and I love the jobscope.

    Last year, I wanted to try a new career path and I got a job at a govt body – the only catch is, my contract is from 2011 – Oct 2013. I desperately want to stay till the end of the contract but I honestly don’t know if I can take it physically and mentally. It’s draining me every single day. I don’t enjoy it and my life feels like a drag. I just want to sleep every free time I have because I am simply too exhausted.

    I want to go back to my freelancing job. But if I leave my govt body job before 2013, I will get blacklisted from this govt body and won’t be able to return and work there in future. I hate leaving a black ‘mark’ anywhere but I will hate my life if I have to continue working there (ok, being dramatic here, but you get the idea). I don’t enjoy life as much as I used to. My wedding is next year and I can’t even be bothered with the details because I am simply too exhausted and drained.

    However….the income from the govt body is so stable, it’s soooo convenient for me to stay put in this job. Tempting idea, although I kind of hate the job. With freelancing, I have to put in extra effort in getting clients although I enjoy it! But it can be unpredictable, like most businesses are.

    So…should I stay or should I go?
  2. If this is your first "outside of home" professional job, I say stick it out and figure out how to deal with the exhaustion. Can you get up earlier and workout in the morning? Even 10 minutes might help. Food can help, also things like meditation and learning not to think or worry so much. Do you eat when you first get up in the morning? Do you take breaks at work and just breathe deeply or take a quick walk outside? Can you get your clothes ready on the weekend? You may just need to get used to a new routine.

    Freelance is wonderful, I have done that too, but I think being able to sustain a professional office job will give you more security relative to being employable on a resume. Ideally you will find a couple of hours a week to devote to personal projects to keep your creativity going.

    Day jobs are rarely going to be as fun as freelance, but they are a good way to bank some bucks for the next time you want or need to take off and do what you really love.
  3. Hi Jesssh,

    Thanks for your input =) My job requires me to wake up at 5am daily, so waking up earlier is out of the question for me as I need every minute of sleep I can get!

    I take lots of breaks at work, because I need them breaks. I take 10-min naps when no one is looking, but they don't help much :/ Diet-wise, I'm a pretty selective eater as I avoid too much carb and sugar which give sugar crashes and make me feel sluggish. I eat supplements too, but they don't help! I had the same problem with my first job, which was an out-of-home job too.

    It's been a year, but I'm still not used to the routine. When I'm out on dates with my boyfriend, I can be quite a bore because all I'm thinking about is sleep - my body is so tired even during weekends! I've slept for two days over the weekends and I was still barely refreshed. Body aches, being dazed and having headaches are a daily thing. I've experienced this even when I was in school.

    I don't know if this is normal, though. It's been a year! And to be honest, it's getting a tad worse as the months roll by...sigh.
  4. #4 Jul 9, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2012
    Maybe you should go to a doctor and get checked out. Your body should be able to handle a day job. Also think about how early you can go to sleep. And are you eating enough? Maybe have a stash of fresh veggies, water, and string cheese at your desk.

    I don't think the freelance job is the answer to the physical problems, unless you are very depressed or away from home more than 12 hours a day. (I've been there.) Still you want people to think you can handle a structured job when you have to. That would be the reason to stick it out.

    Edit: One more thing. One time I had to complain about the air quality at my workplace. Turns out they weren't cleaning the filters like they were supposed to. That fixed my problem. Is anyone else at work getting headaches?
  5. what time do you usually go to sleep at night? are you getting good quality sleep? a friend of mine has a husband who is a snorer. she was chronically sleep deprived and only realized it after he went on an extended business trip. do you change your sleep pattern during the weekends (i.e. going to bed and waking up later)?

    if you're sleeping well but still feel exhausted, you should consider seeing a doctor. there may be physical causes of your exhaustion (thyroid, pregnancy, immune disorder, etc...) or it could be mental (depression). either way, it's a good idea to figure it out. (can the gov't make a medical exception, if there is a medical cause, for you to leave your contract early without blacklisting you?)

    if it's merely the boring job, you need to weigh the pros and cons of staying on. what is the market like for what you do? is the gov't the biggest employer in your area?

    maybe you're just not made for the daily grind and you should just accept it rather than make yourself miserable.
  6. I'm sorry you're not feeling happy - I feel the same way - just plain exhausted.

    October 2013 is a long way away. Do you think that you could stick out another YEAR of this?

    If you are not happy with your job and are already experiencing the physical side effects, it is time to start looking in a new direction.

    You say your job requires you to get up at 5am. What time are you getting home in the evenings? I get up at 4:45 and get home at 7pm. You may not be getting the sleep that your body needs. Although I usually get about 6.5 - 7 hours of sleep a night, I am not well-rested and alert during the day. I am just plain exhausted.

    :hugs: for you!
  7. If you know for a fact that this is not what you want how to spend any more of the time you have on earth, leave.

    If it just a matter of feeling tired because you have the commute instead of working from home, it may be worth thinking about it more. Still, I am inclined to say you have enough experience to know whether you can make a living and a life as a freelancer.
  8. I would give it a valiant effort before really considering leaving. Really look into why you are feeling this way and what you can do about it, take steps to change it, see a doctor if you must. There is some sort of solution that will make you feel better, less tired, ect.. part of it may be your job but part of it may be something else going on with your body, life, ect. I would really take the time to do this, give myself maybe 1-2 months to see where Im at, if Im doing better, ect.. and then try to make a decision from there. Its a good idea not to "black list" yourself, unless you've really really tried and cannot take it anymore. Best of luck!!
  9. Oh dear, is there a way of finding a "push" factor or something interesting to get you motivated? Perhaps can you request for a transfer of department?
  10. how many hours a week are you working??
  11. Thanks for all your replies =) Late reply as I am too tired/occupied.

    I work 42 hours a week. I will get myself checked and see if there is anything wrong with me - will have to ddiscipline myself to allocate time to see a doc.

    Just becoming too tired to be involved in my hobbies and everything I used to have interest in. By the time I reach home ard 5pm, I just want to sleep till the next morning - but I can't do that as I have to chat or meet with my bf, socialise with friends and all that. :sad:
  12. At 42 hours a week, you should not be so exhausted unless the work is physical (on your feet all day, lifting, etc.). Many people regularly work 80 hours or more weekly, plus travel time.

    Consider your diet and maybe vitamins.

    It could also be psychological. If you don't have the will and desire to do something, it can be exhausting, even if it really isn't physically demanding.

    Ask yourself if you like the job and the people. Also ask yourself if you're just there for the money or if you have some other goals.
  13. I would most certainly say that people working 80+ hours a week (not including the commute) is definitely not the norm and isn't NORMAL at all.

    42 hours a week doesn't sound that bad. It really depends on how the day is, though. I have a 40 hour week plus 15-16 hours of commuting a week, so I'm running at about 55-60 hours, depending on traffic / how the trains are running. It is exhausting.

    OP: do get checked out by the doctor. I am also extremely exhausted and my blood results showed an infection somewhere in my body. I have to go to the doc again soon to have my levels checked again to see if the infection went down any..
  14. I am in the same situation too... getting up at 5 am and work an average of 45 hours a week, plus commuting 4 to 5 hours per day. That means I am away from home for more than 13 hours each day. I have been doing this for 5 years now and I am also feeling exhausted. I was very ill the last few months and my blood test also shows infection, etc. My blood pressure has increased too. I am also not sure if I should continue working like this. It's probably not worth it if I become more sick and die young just for the sake of earning some money.

    Anyway, I hope Sternchen will get well soon, and good luck to Chanel Belle for your decision. I wish I can find freelance work too.