Should i stay at home, work PT or use day care?

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  1. ^ 100% agree with that. Savings is a must!
     
  2. I would stay home. It's amazing how possible it really is if you make sacrifices and adjust simple lifestyle choices. I'm biased too since I'm an at-home mom. I do plan on going through the physician assistant program, but I won't work until all six are in school.
     
  3. Great points from everyone...I would only add:

    Do you like your job or is it just a paycheck? When I was younger, I loved my job and to be honest, a big part of who I felt I was, and my sense of self worth came from my career...being good at it, being creative, problem solving, working with people, etc....not just the nice paycheck (although that certainly helped)...so it never entered my mind that I would want to stay home. Honestly, even though I love my kids, I thought I would bored out of my mind, I never thought I could be a SAHM. Fast forward 20 years (yes, really 20 years, that's how old my eldest son is) and now I love being a SAHM.
     
  4. ITA. i think being a SAHM is great but on other hand, you have to weigh in the risk of being completely financially dependent on someone (especially someone you're not married to, and especially in these tough economic times). I quit my job voluntarily last year, because my husband and I moved. It took me 5 months to find another one. So unless you have a lot of your own savings I would be really really careful before quitting.
     
  5. Putting money aside, I would say work part-time. I stay home full time right now. I have a few friends that do as well, and we all would have loved to work part-time, like 20 hours/week, not much more than that.

    My friends who work full-time are struggling with work-life balance (with the exception of one, who is totally happy.) Those of us who stay home feel isolated and bored from time to time, and are very concerned what will happen when we try to go back to work. I think working enough that you have the grown-up conversation and stimulate your brain, while still getting to spend a lot of time with your child, is ideal. However, you still have to pay for childcare, so it's unlikely you're going to actually make any money working PT.

    However, adding financial and practical realities into the situation, I agree with everyone who has said that making sure you can support you and all your children on an ongoing basis is really important. I'm sure your BF is a great guy, but if things somehow don't work out, you don't want to have your kids struggling.
     
  6. Yes stay home nine times out of ten the money you spend on daycare, gas to go to and from work and all the other expenses that come with working outside of the home really end up not being worth it. I still have an income comming in and we found out that we make more money with me staying home. I have 3 kids 7,5, and 81/2 months so I would pay out the wazoo for childcare. The added plus is so much more of our personal things in the home and running our family get taken care of where before it was always a struggle for one of us to take time off of work to handle things. I will admit if you are used to working you will get bored after a while but it is worth it in the long run for my whole family. Honestly my marraige is in a better state now that I am home becuase I can be more attentive to my husband as well as the kids. I hope this helps
     
  7. Great advice! But staying home doesn't mean no money. I know a couple of ladies who stay home with kids and they both sell Avon and one does real estate part time. Her baby goes with her everywhere! She's actually my role model, she's been pushing me to get my license again.

    You could always sell on Ebay, etc.
     
  8. Everyone here has made great points. Another thing to consider is how much of the living expenses the child support payments cover. If it's not a lot, I would be a little hesitant to stay at home and depend on your boyfriend to support you and two children that aren't his. He could become resentful later on, and it may put a huge strain on the relationship. If the child support payments cover most of your children's expenses, then maybe it would be a good idea to stay home.
     
  9. I love being a SAHM!! I would rather be no where else than with my DS, unless it's at Neiman's :graucho:
    I think children need their mama's! I've met a few ladies that tell me "Stay home with him until he's at least 3." I would like to have something of my own sometimes, but sharing everything with my DS is great :biggrin: He's my best buddy, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You need to find out what works for YOU though. And your family. Right now, my SO is the only bread winner, and we're doing great!! In fact, he just got promoted at his new job :smile:
     
  10. Hey girls! Well thanks for your advice, i read it all and followed my heart and i put in my 2 week notice yesterday! I am SOOOOOOO ecstatic to be able to stay at home and raise my children. We got savings covered and the money we "lose" from my check is nothing compared to being able to raise the boys ourselves. Im very confident in my decision and my boyfriend and I have been planning towards the future..(marriage...etc...) so I finally feel like my life is coming together. :smile:
     
  11. I agree. Times are tough and in this day and age what is a good job today can be gone tomorrow, then what? Personally for me I am not the type that can stay home all day. I love my kids to death but I just cant do it. I stayed home for 3 months with them and then after that my girlfriend watched them for me. If I was unable to find someone I trusted to watch my kids then I probably would have stayed home until I did but luckily I didnt' have that problem. 2 of my girlfriends decided to stay home with their kids. On hasn't worked in 10 years and can't remember anything she went to school for, the other one had a plan of only staying home for a year and then going back to work. 2 years later she still can't find a job.
     



  12. Sounds like me.