should i really be bothered by this?

blah956

blah956

Member
Aug 16, 2009
6,339
5
#1
a few months back, i donated some brand new and slightly used clothing to a local organization that collects work clothes for women in need.

turns out the woman working that day was a classmate from one of my classes. a week ago, i was on campus and saw her wearing a pair of shoes i had donated. and they were nice YSL satin pumps!

so i don't know if to think she stole them or "traded" for them (like maybe bring in a pair of shoes she didn't want and take those?)

should i call up the organization and ask or should i drop it?
 
#2
I probably wouldn't say anything. Even though you know those were your shoes that you donated you can't prove that she stole them. She could just say that she already had the same shoes or something and it would just make things uncomfortable next time you see her.
 
#3
Blah, which organization did you donate to? There are some organizations that employ people who are part of the cause. This woman might have been part of a domestic violent situation and she's working for this organization and going to school to better herself.

However, I remember seeing an intake guy going through boxes worth of stuff and setting things aside at a park and ride donation site. As I was driving up toward him - I saw him putting these items in his car... then placing all the other boxes into the donation trailer. I'm sure the intake folks in all the organizations get 1st dibs on all the new donated merchandise coming in.

Blah, a good way to look at it - at least that woman is wearing the shoes in good health. At least she's NOT taking your good nature and selling it on eBay for her profit.

Kudos to you for being so kind and generous!! I'm sure all your donated items are being used with much appreciation!! :biggrin:
 
#4
yeliab said:
Blah, which organization did you donate to? There are some organizations that employ people who are part of the cause. This woman might have been part of a domestic violent situation and she's working for this organization and going to school to better herself.

However, I remember seeing an intake guy going through boxes worth of stuff and setting things aside at a park and ride donation site. As I was driving up toward him - I saw him putting these items in his car... then placing all the other boxes into the donation trailer. I'm sure the intake folks in all the organizations get 1st dibs on all the new donated merchandise coming in.

Blah, a good way to look at it - at least that woman is wearing the shoes in good health. At least she's NOT taking your good nature and selling it on eBay for her profit.

Kudos to you for being so kind and generous!! I'm sure all your donated items are being used with much appreciation!! :biggrin:
Click to expand...

never really thought of it that way. i know people can hide a lot. she just seems like a typical just turning 21 year old who likes to party on the weekend...
i'll probably just let it drop.
 
#5
I'd let it go, you let the shoes go in the first place.....don't stress about it. You did a really great and generous thing, don't let this spoil it for you.
 
#6
I think you should be delighted!

Because of your kindness, a pair of feet whose steps are helping some of our sisters in a very practical and basic way, are protected from the elements, sharp rocks and broken glass. That's pretty awesome!

Many others have already mentioned that it is not unusual for these orgs to be staffed, in whole or in part, by some of the same people the org is intended to help.

Nor is it unusual for volunteers to trade, or even receive as "thank yous," an item or two from donation boxes.

Sadly, sometimes there is gross abuse, but I wouldn't assume that based on one pair of shoes on one worker.

One of the things that keeps abuse like that in check is the fact that the people who would be most likely to commit it, and the people who are most likely to donate their time to help those in need, tend to have a very small overlap.

Then you have I guess what would be "gray areas" for some, let's say if a poor person volunteers for the clothing drive specifically with the pre-meditated intention of skimming off some stuff that she would not be able to afford otherwise - you could look at that as just awful, or you could look at it as just another poor person being helped by the donations.

She's got a job interview to go to, or a job to keep, too!

And thank you for reminding me that the Blessing Bag in my own closet is getting full, and I also have that box of books stuffed on the top shelf of the downstairs closet, that I have been meaning to get Mr Puff to get down so I can call my own local org and holler "PICK UP!"
 
#8
Honestly, I think she just took first pick. I volunteered for a while receiving donations for freakin' Katrina victims, and there were otherwise very well meaning young people who felt it was appropriate to take free shoes. So, sorry, that sucks, but as others have pointed out you can never be sure, so I wouldn't confront her. Maybe next time you go you can drop your stuff off with someone who clearly wears a different size or style.
 
#11
ShimmaPuff said:
Then you have I guess what would be "gray areas" for some, let's say if a poor person volunteers for the clothing drive specifically with the pre-meditated intention of skimming off some stuff that she would not be able to afford otherwise - you could look at that as just awful, or you could look at it as just another poor person being helped by the donations.
Click to expand...

Yes -- I donate every year and the drivers who come pick stuff up sometimes eyes the stuff I donate. Everything is washed and folded neatly and I also donate tons of toys and household stuff. So it's not like I'm donating rubbish that other people don't want. I'm sure several functioning toys and a sewing machine I donated were kept. I don't usually care what they do with it... if I sense they are a bit uneasy and really in need, I say: I don't care what you do, you can keep it yourself if you want. I think it gives them the "OK"
 
#13
I think Shimma has a good point- even if this girl doesn't "need" the shoes, she has a kind heart for working or volunteering with this organization. She probably doesn't get paid for doing it, or gets paid very little. She deserves your shoes!:smile:
 
#15
agree that it was a good deed....i would (perhaps selfishly?) be a little bummed, but you know what? you dont really know the whole story, and i would just brush it off. you did help someone, and i guess that is all that matters.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back