Should I go?

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S

singerangel

Member
May 19, 2007
192
0
#1
Hi all,

This seems to be a good place to ask for advice, so here goes. A friend of mine (who I see once every few weeks) is getting married and I wasn't invited to the wedding. (This was after she was telling me all about her plans and how stressed she was) Naturally, I was offended. A couple of days ago, a hen's night invitation was passed on to me and I'm told that when she gave it to them, she looked kind of sheepish/ feeling bad about it.

The question is, should I go to the hen's night? I was really hurt by her not inviting me and I think it would be really uncomfortable to be there with everyone talking about wedding plans and what they're going to wear and such, when I'm not even invited. My mother thinks I should go, to show I'm still friends with her, but I'm really hurt about it and she obviously doesn't think of me as a close friend like I did her. Please help!

TIA!
 
#5
lamiastella said:
If you aren't invited to the wedding or the reception, then I would not go to the Bachelorette Party..
Click to expand...

Agree. I thought that most people were invited to the wedding whereas only a few people close to the bride were invited to the bachelorette party. It would be very funny if you just went to that and not to the wedding! And if it is such a low cost affair that she cannot invite you, how come she's issuing invites to a hen night?
 
#7
Okay.... here's the thing. My wedding guestlist was the biggest fiasco, and I still have ppl peeved at me that they weren't invited... and it was 2 years ago!! :tdown:

DH & I rented out our (translate = my) dream location!! In Opryland hotel, in Nashville, TN... The Catch? The site only held 20 GUESTS... which then a huge problem occured. I wasn't willing to sacrifice the location (which was by a waterfall & if we would have moved to larger seating capacity, it wouldn't have been...) for adding chairs...

When people heard this, I started getting crap from EVERY side of the family... "Oh you have to invite this person", or "If you invite cousins from your dad's side, you need to invite your cousin's from my side"... (Keeping in mind that on my dad's side I have THREE cousins... on my mom's side, I have like - TWENTY-FIVE!!)

It got to be such I pain.... I threw my hands up, and said you know what - Dan will be there, I will be there...... see whoever ends up there, at the wedding. I ended up only inviting immediate family, and didn't invite my cousins from my dad's side - which I regret... because I haven't seen them since. (I think they are probably still mad TOO!!)

Anyhow..... the point to this thing is... Give her the benefit of the doubt. Who knows what else may be going on behind the scenes. I didn't invite a single one of my friends to the wedding, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved to have them there!! I also felt bad about making people spend money to travel upwards of 14 hours to go to our wedding, so for anyone that had just graduated from college, like us - I just didn't send an invitiation, so they didn't feel obligated... :sweatdrop:
 
#9
Sorry, I would not go. A good friend wouldn't hurt your feelings like this without clear explanation and apology. If there are extenuating circumstances, she needs to explain them to you-- you don't leave a good friend twisting in the wind that way.
 
#10
I don't think you can make that judgement until you know the full story. It could be the friend is getting married at a small venue or doesn't have alot of money.

If it turns out that she's not invited because the woman is rude then no way would I go to the hen night!
 
#11
Bags4Bubbles said:
Okay.... here's the thing. My wedding guestlist was the biggest fiasco, and I still have ppl peeved at me that they weren't invited... and it was 2 years ago!! :tdown:

DH & I rented out our (translate = my) dream location!! In Opryland hotel, in Nashville, TN... The Catch? The site only held 20 GUESTS... which then a huge problem occured. I wasn't willing to sacrifice the location (which was by a waterfall & if we would have moved to larger seating capacity, it wouldn't have been...) for adding chairs...

When people heard this, I started getting crap from EVERY side of the family... "Oh you have to invite this person", or "If you invite cousins from your dad's side, you need to invite your cousin's from my side"... (Keeping in mind that on my dad's side I have THREE cousins... on my mom's side, I have like - TWENTY-FIVE!!)

It got to be such I pain.... I threw my hands up, and said you know what - Dan will be there, I will be there...... see whoever ends up there, at the wedding. I ended up only inviting immediate family, and didn't invite my cousins from my dad's side - which I regret... because I haven't seen them since. (I think they are probably still mad TOO!!)

Anyhow..... the point to this thing is... Give her the benefit of the doubt. Who knows what else may be going on behind the scenes. I didn't invite a single one of my friends to the wedding, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved to have them there!! I also felt bad about making people spend money to travel upwards of 14 hours to go to our wedding, so for anyone that had just graduated from college, like us - I just didn't send an invitiation, so they didn't feel obligated... :sweatdrop:
Click to expand...

Yes, this can be an actual nightmare! My DH and I eloped. You can imagine how MAD everyone was when we got back and announced what we did. It has been 10 years now and everyone got over it.:sweatdrop:
 
#13
You say you only see her once every couple of weeks, so it sounds like you two aren't bff, rather casual friends. Are the other girls invited to the Bachelorette party invited to the wedding? Are they "closer" friends to her? If there is a budget, and the other invitees are closer friends to the bride, I can see why she'd pass you over. A Bachelorette party is much more informal, and usually doesn't cost the bride anything, so she'd be more apt to invite you out for that.
I'd tell her that you feel a bit upset about being left off the wedding invite list and hopefully she'll explain why. After that, you can decide if that was a good enough explanation to coax you into attending the Hen's party.
 
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