Should I go to San Diego? (Would appreciate advice)

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xanderbsb

xanderbsb

O.G.
Feb 22, 2007
1,007
19
#1
I hope I can explain this in a way you will understand.

Let me start with some backround (this may get long).

In October 2005, I went to San Diego, CA for my cousin Jon's wedding. It was supposed to be a fun time but ended really badly.

After the wedding reception, most of the family gathered at my Uncle Harry's house since that's where most of the family was staying.

I was there and was with my younger cousins in a bedroom in the house just playing on the computer. I was bored and they had a piano in the living room so I decided to go and check it out.

The living room is very close to the kitchen in the house. My Uncle Harry had a lot of alcohol in his system and he was sitting at the table with my cousin Cyrus. My Uncle started saying in a very angry tone, "YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR UNCLE MAR IS STUPID."

I was thinking, "Did he just say that?" Mar is my dad's nickname.

I thought I heard wrong but he kept repeating it over and over and over really angrily. My dad didn't do anything to him and I didn't think it was fair of him to call my father stupid.

I stood up from the piano and confronted my uncle just asking him about what he just said. He basically went like this to me: :cursing: Thankfully my cousin Cyrus was there to protect me because I really felt threatened at this point.

I just went back to the room where my younger cousins were and cried my eyes out. It wasn't fair to me that my uncle was calling my dad stupid.

It was just a mess.

Now this coming June 16th, my cousin Jon's daugther, Mikayla will be having her 1st birthday in San Diego, CA. My mom really wants to go but that means the chance of running into my uncle. I haven't spoken to him ever since. I'd really like to see Mikayla and take a trip to Southern Cali since it's the summer and so I can shop for another bag :graucho: but I'm just not sure.

What do y'all think?
 
#2
oh my we had lots of issues like this in the family. personally, I'd either confront the person at some stage or i would ignore them. it depends on the person and situation.

given that this is the little girl's birthday, i'd say just ignore. this is his issue, but you don't have to be nice, given that he upset you in that manner. but don't just give up on the rest of the family, that would be a pity.
 
#3
You should let bygones be bygones, IMO. Your uncle was drunk and he may not even remember what happened. It's been two years after all. By going, and being polite if you see him, you will be the better person.

Plus, how can you pass up a chance to go to San Diego?!
 
#4
You should definitely go and put the past behind you.
There is the risk you will run into your uncle, but why should you be the one to hide in the shadows or feel embarrassed?
Who knows maybe he will apologize or perhaps he had so much to drink he doesn't even remember what happened.
 
#5
I agree with all the other ladies.

if you want to see your counsin and you're excited about going to SD (why shouldn't you???) then go.

Ignore and stay away from your uncle and don't confront him about anything. Be polite and enjoy your trip!
 
#6
You should go... forget about your uncle if you can't make amends with him. The important person here is Mikayla, don't miss out on her birthday simply because of family issues.
 
#8
Go for her 1st birthday, it will be so much fun. Forget about what your uncle said. All families have times when they say things that are just plain stupid. He was drunk and probably just shooting his mouth off. I would not let it upset you. You can talk to your parents about what happened, but they seem smart enough to let it go and move on.
 
#9
You go to the party with your head held up high. Why should other people not be able to see you just because your Uncle was a jerk? Let him be the one to approach you, too. Don't be all cute and smiley peering at him. You go looking good, being happy and forget about him. :blah: If he wants to apologize, let him. You don't have to invite him over to your house - just be pleasant if he decides to admit he was wrong and have a good time.
Love SD. We drive down a couple of times a year just because the kids love it so much...:smile:
 
#13
go, its not the baby's fault that your uncle had too much to drink that night and said what he said. in the end you are all family and forgiving is a great virtue to have. i hope it works out and be the bigger person. good luck.
 
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