She's a Nervous Wreck.

  1. I've got a friend I go to college with. She just busted out crying in our computer class today and ran out of the room. I followed her to make sure she was alright. The way she was, she didn't need to be alone. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she'd 1)Accidentally quit the Photoshop program we were working on without saving her hours worth of hard work. 2) She'd had a horrible fight with her boyfriend that resulted in both of them crying and him saying, quote "I don't understand why you are doing this to me." And they almost split up for good. Even though he's practically her fiancee. and 3) She hasn't had a period in 2 months. She thinks she's pregnant.

    Everything she did today revolved around the thought that she might be pregnant. I tried to tell her that if it was it would be alright. She and her BF would go ahead and tie the knot, like they'd been planning too all along, I'd throw her a ridiculously adorable baby-shower, that everything would be ok. She and I went to Nashville last Tuesday and on the way she mentioned being scared about having a baby but had never given me any clue as to the fact that she might be pregnant. She had to keep going to the bathroom today and when I kidded her about her blatter being small, she grabbed my arm and whispered "THAT's ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS!" She gets naucious sometimes when she eats, like Tuesday, we stopped by an Arby's and she ordered A LOT of food, but only ate a little bit. And today every time I turned around she was eating something.

    How can I convince her that things will be alright if she is pregnant? I know her family is pretty religious, like mine is. She said she was scared about what her Dad might think. I didn't say it but all I could think was "He'll get over it. Dad's get bent out of shape entirely when their daughters say they're pregnant, whether they're married or not. Eventually he'll get over it." I've only known her a month, but we've got so much in common and we had that sort of "insta-bond" you get only once, or twice in a lifetime when we first met. She's such a sweetie and I hate seeing her like this. She has to know that I'm gonna be there for her, whether there is a baby on board or not.
  2. That's not necessary at all if she is not, in fact, pregnant. The first step is to take a pregnancy test. I had a close female friend who would work herself up every single time she thought she was pregnant when she was not. No pregnancy= no worry.
  3. ^^Yes. Go get her a test. No need to freak out until you know for sure.
  4. I don't think you should try to convince her of this. You can't be certain that things WILL be okay for her if she's pregnant. If she's that bothered by the very idea, sounds like she really doesn't want to be. Guess what? She's not alone. PLENTY of women don't want children, including quite a few on this forum. And it's perfectly fine for a woman to feel that way. There's nothing wrong with it.

    She probably would prefer you talk to her about options (and yes, she does have a few at her disposal) instead of putting on rose colored glasses and trying to convince her that something she may really not want will end up being an ideal situation. I know damn well that if I hadn't had a visit from Flo in two weeks and I suspected that I might be pregnant, all hell would break loose due to the fact that I don't want a baby.


    Like the other posters have said, she first needs to take a test. And if she is pregnant?

    What your friend might need is understanding and supportiveness. Find out what she wants to do and encourage her to do that. But it's not a good idea to encourage a woman who potentially doesn't want a baby that having a baby would be a splendid walk in daisy-filled meadows with unicorns jumping over rainbows and rain made of honey. This is the real word, and having a baby just isn't what every woman wants to do. It's time-sacificing, labor intensive, painful, biologically draining, expensive, long-lasting, tiring...I could go on and on. If I were in her situation, I wouldn't want anyone to subject me to their personal goals and beliefs. I have friends who LOVE kids and LOVE being pregnant, but they know that if it comes to my situation, they should leave their personal beliefs out of it and not condescend to me about having a kid. I mean, You say that everything will be alright, but as her and her BF aren't married yet, you have no way to know this for sure. There are thousands of women out there with children whose boyfriends never married them after finding out they were pregnant, and being a single mama is hard work. Just be there for your friend, but don't try to talk her into having a baby she may not want. She might ruin her life, her BF's life, and things may never improve for her. Things very well may NOT be "okay" for her if she's pregnant, and you really shouldn't try to pressure or fool her into believing that they might.

    I hope that for your friend's sake, you're able to be there for her and at least convince her that she has your matter what happens...without trying to convince her to do the wrong thing, or bringing your own personal beliefs into the situation. For her sake, I hope she's NOT pregnant. Seems she doesn't really want to be. That would be a miserable situation to be in.
  5. First of all, how does she know she is pregant? She needs to take a test now.
    For me, a few months ago, I didn't have my period for about a month and a half, which NEVER happens, I have been on time for years, since I can remember.
    I have a urologic problem, and I have to keep running to the bathroom. I also get naseaus when I eat sometimes, and a lot of times, I eat only a bit, while other times, I can eat a lot. And there has never been a chance that I could be pregnant, I'm a virgin. So the point of my comment is that even though she has these things going on, it's rather common and doesn't always point to pregnancy. Maybe she is so occupied with the possiblity of being pregnant, she thinks every little minor and rather common thing is a symptom or cause of her being possibly pregnant. Stress can cause your period to be late, so can an illness, so pregnancy is not the only thing that can delay your period. The only way she can ease her mind is if she takes a pregnancy test, and if she is confirmed that she's pregnant, then cross that bridge when you get there. It's senseless to worry about something that she may not even have especially if all she has to do is take a simple test.
  6. Umm, I don't know what personal issues you are dealing with but you are fighting a strawman. Missy didn't say anything about convincing her that having a child in her situation will be very pleasant, or discouraging her from excercising possible options such as an adoption plan.

    It seems like she was trying to convey that if this girl is in fact pregnant, it most likely wouldn't be the end of world. People do and often handle worse.:yes:

    Maybe you need to start another thread???
  7. Your friend needs to take a test ASAP.
  8. By engaging in high drama rather than take the darn test, your friend shows her immaturity. She needs some serious life-handling lessons. Don't make rash promises to her -- you have no way of making everything ok. She needs to take the test, get some counseling , etc.
  9. If her and her boyfriend are fighting and almost split up for good then they are not mature enough for a baby. I don't uderstand the almost fiance thing..... It seems like there is this rush to get a man the first man or any man at such a young age. If she is sleeping with him she needs to be mature enough with him to know about birth control. Maybe offer to go with her to planned parenthood so she can get a test and learn about birth control and options. She sounds like she needs to be educated in practicing safe sex and if she is not pregnant this will help her in the future and if she is pregnant they can at least help her with how she can talk to her parents and listen to her fears. It is not up to you to make her decisions. I am personally against abortion and feel it is a woman's right to choose, but if she is pregnant at such a young age she needs some support system to help her. Her family will be angry and probably hate it and may try to push her in to marriage but it really sounds like she and her boyfriend need to grow up and I doubt marriage is a answer for them.
  10. So did she take a test? Is she preggo?
  11. I agree that she needs to grow up a little bit. She's gonna be 20 in a couple of months and she and her BF have been dating since she was like 15 or something.

    No she hasn't taken the test, she's avoiding it all together.

    She and her BF fighting I don't think is immiturity. 40 year olds in a marriage fight with each other. She didn't go into specifics she just said it was really bad, what the fight was about.

    I agree she needs to practice safe sex. Totally 100 percent. In fact I'm one of those that goes by that wise old saying "No ding ding without a wedding ring."

    When I was saying I was trying to convince her everythng would be OK, I didn't mean that the pregnancy would be smooth and the baby would be perfect and she and her BF would get married and live happily ever after in the gingerbread house that Shrek and Fiona (sorry, I LOVE those Pixar movies) honeymooned in. I was just saying that with the help from her friends, at least me, and her family and her BF she would get through it. If complications arise, I will be right there holding her hand. If the baby turns out to not be ok, she's not alone in this. I'm right here for her. If they decided (if they are indeed expecting) to give this baby up for adoption, that's their choice. Abortion is not a choice in this situation.

    She won't take a test. She won't talk to me about it and she has been sick a few mornings this week. But then again, so have I and 3 other girls in class.
  12. Well not taking a test is extremely immature. Esp if abortion is not an option. When pregnant, its important to take prenatal vitamins, eat certain foods and avoid certain foods. Its important to stay out of hot tubs and avoid medications. She could do some major damage to the baby by doing some normal things that you dont really think about when you are not pregnant.

    So for the sake of this potential baby, she needs to take a test. If she is pregnant its very important to get prenatal care. If she is avoiding the subject then you need to sit her down and tell her how important it is. Just tell her to take it one step at a time. Maybe go buy the test for her and be there with her when she takes it.
  13. Seriously... it's not as if not knowing for sure will make you any less pregnant. :rolleyes: You either are or you aren't.
  14. I agree with omgsweet. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and be more mature. She needs to take that test to find out if she is pregnant or not in order to take the necessary actions if she is pregnant.
  15. I've read the entire thread and all I have to say is...she is super immature. Period. She needs to take the damn test and grow the F up!