Shattered & Devastated..

Lululovebags

Member
Mar 12, 2008
3,552
2
Earth
I have not gotten any sleep yet since yesterday. Since my dearest Snowy had passed away.

Snowy is my cat. My 5 year old cat.

My only bundle of joy, my faithful companion, my friend and confidante.

When he fell very sick 2 days ago, I thought it was something he ate. I brought him to the vet and she said it was just a minor stomach allergy.

His condition deteriorated fast and I got so worried, I skipped my meals, my work and stopped my life to nurse him. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink and will just look at me with his soulful eyes.

And pray. I prayed to God to make it all better, to make his suffering go. One moment, he looked like he could make it and appeared ok.But suddenly, he was down. Breathing heavily and could barely opened his eyes. I panicked and packed him up to bring him to the hospital asap.

I drove, oh i drove so fast. I beat all the traffic lights, my heart breaking again and again when i heard him moan helplessly beside me. At a traffic light junction, i suddenly heard a loud cough. My hands were trembling, my vision was blurred and quickly scooped Snowy out from his carrier.

He looked at me and then he left me.

He left me just like that. Took his last breath and left me.

He left me in my arms.

I wailed and cried so hard. Cried and tried. Tried to wake him up but he didn't budge at all. I spent a good half hour crying with him in my arms.

Oh Snowy, if only i knew. If only i knew. I'm so sorry i didn't do enough. I didn't do enough.

I love you. I love you so much, I cursed God for taking away someone most precious to me, most dearest to me, most faithful to me. I cursed God for taking away a gift that lighted my day, that filled my night with joy and filled the void in my heart.

Snowy, I love you, please know that I love you. I'm sorry i didn't do enough. And I will never stop loving you until the day I die.

Thank you for reading, all. I needed this. :crybaby:
 

laloki

O.G.
Apr 9, 2006
4,336
0
I am so sorry....don't think that you didn't do enough for him....you did...you took him to the Vet for attention and then loved and cared for him - you could do nothing more. Just remember the good times you had with him.
 

pidgeon92

O.G.
Feb 8, 2006
1,495
2
53
Chicago, IL
You did the right thing, Snowy knows it. He is in the happy hunting grounds now. All of my babies... Pidgeon, Filbert & Princess Buttercup were there, waiting for him to arrive.

Pets are the best companions ever.
 

chessmont

O.G.
Aug 22, 2006
12,111
1,857
CA
Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry for your loss. It is so devastating when they are young and something happens so suddenly. My condolences {{{{hug}}}}

You did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, you sound like an attentive responsible owner-you did all the right things.

"We plan, God laughs":crybaby:
 

Lec8504

O.G.
Nov 10, 2006
3,064
444
Bay Area
omg I am so sorry for your lost. You did do everything you could for him, please try to not think about the "what ifs" too much.

over time you will be able to think of him and be happy of the time that you had with him and be comforted knowing that he'll always be a part of you
 

tiramisu

Rooaaarrr~~~
Sep 9, 2006
1,567
0
SoCA
I know there is no words that I can say to make you feel better... I am so so sorry for your loss...
 

Minimouse

O.G.
May 20, 2007
3,959
7
Oh gosh, I have tears welling up. Lulu, I'm so sorry, I feel your pain. It is devastating to lose a loved one and your situation was oh so tragic. Please take strength from the fact you did ALL you could to nurse Snowy back to health and there was absolutely nothing you could do. Take comfort knowing Snowy is in heaven now, no longer suffering. You will see Snowy again, that's guaranteed, but in the meantime, hold onto the happy memories. You are a wonderful example of a responsible and caring pet owner. God has his reasons and I suspect Snowy was required for another assignment in the after life. Hugs!!!
 
Feb 20, 2008
1,784
5
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that you gave Snowy a wonderful home and that he was loved every minute of his short life. Hugs.
 

madamefifi

cat hoarder
O.G.
Aug 23, 2006
5,813
740
virginia
I am crying as I write this. My Mathilda left me nearly a year ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wish she was still here. I am so very sorry for your loss.