scary/very sad situation ..advice?

#33
i am sooo sorry for you and your family. there is nothing you can say to her tomake her feel better right now but being there for her will say more than words. she may be different, and not want to be touched or even not talking but know that it has nothing to do with you. just be there and support her. don't ask her questions about it,let her talk if she wants to. it is going to be a while and you may not get back the old her for a while but understand she needs you all now.
 
#34
I'm so sorry to hear this...

I work for a criminal justice agency, in part writing materials about crime statistics that I provide to victims' advocacy centers. It is very important your SIL finds help and counseling through one of these centers. While family may be of comfort to her, these programs can provide her with information and she will have people to speak to who KNOW exactly how she is feeling.

There is a lot involved in this whole process, and sometimes it is difficult not to feel like the victim is being further injured by the invasiveness of rape exams, prosecution of the offender, etc... She needs to seek expert counseling as soon as possible.
 
#35
rebecca I cant even begin to imagine how traumatized she must be and how angry your brother is at the ******* who did this. I am so sad to hear this :sad: Being rape is one of my biggest fears too. For someone to take advantage of a womans body like that is just unforgiveable!

It will be hard, but just be there for her. She might turn her pain inward, but just remind her (doesnt necessarily have to be verbally) that youre all there for her and she is so much more than what the creep stole from her!

Please post any information on the culprit if you can. I am in North Florida until August, so if I see anything on the news, I'll be on the look out. My heart goes out to your SIL :heart:3

V
 
#37
That is just so horrible and scary. Please let us know if they is anything we can do. My heart goes out to you and all of your family. Just be strong and supportive because unfortunately there will be some tough times ahead. I am so sorry and I just feel my words are so inadequate... Take care

Rachel x
 
#38
I hope your SIL doesn't EVER, EVER, EVER think that it was somehow her fault. I know sometimes the victim thinks that but it wasn't. It isn't ever! I also hope that she doesn't feel ashamed. It is such a personal crime and so taboo to talk about and that makes it that much harder on the victim.

Give her your love, understanding, and ear. If it were me I'd want to be treated just like normal but I can't imagine how hard that would be to do.

Your whole family sounds very supportive and it's great that you and your dad are going to them. Good luck!
 
#39
It is so very terrible that any one can do that to another person... my heart aches for your SIL...She should just know that no matter what she is NOT responsible for what happened to her ... and she is NEVER going to be to blame, even tho she might feel that way at some time.The best advice I can give to to start seeking help as soon as possible, tho it may be difficult to talk about, and she may want to bottle it up inside, sooner is so much better than later because you can begin to heal faster .... take it from someone who knows, and waited to get any help for a long time.... she is not the only one.

best wishes .
 
#40
Hi Rebecca this is terrible. I suffered an attempt of rape myself when I was younger so I can imagine how your sister in law feels and how YOU feel. Now just cool down, show strenghth and, as somebody already said, try to help with small, practical gestures. It will be much appreciated. Let her feel the warmth of the family routine. Prepare her favorite food or pamper her somehow. Do not make her feel "sick" or victimize her. I think in these cases the best thing is to try to get back to normality and show you love for her. I hope all the best for her and your whole family.
 
#42
I am so sorry. My thoughts are with your family. Just be there for her, your brother, and niece. They will need your support to get through this. I really hope they find the person who did this. No one should ever be raped.
 
#45
I am so sorry to hear this. I am not sure of your age but I think the best thing to do is say that you are there for her and listen. Let her deal with it - she will let you know what she needs. You could also really be of assistance to your niece by doing the same. You and your family are in my prayers.
 
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