ROFL: This is a must read!! Letter from a disgruntled customer

  1. Dear Mr. Thatcher,

    I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm)
    or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

    Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. "As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

    Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad,
    and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

    Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
    my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


    A former customer



    ROFL!!!!!! :tup: :roflmfao:
  2. lol!!!! I love it!!!
  3. Hahahaha... "have a happy period"...hahaha
  4. I know, I about want to scream everytime I see that 'have a happy period' BS on the adhesive tabs.
  5. LOLOLOL I wish they said "vehicular manslaughter is wrong". Now THAT would make my period a better experience.
  6. LMAO!!! I would have loved to seen Mr.Thatcher's reaction to this!

    My favorite line was 'Have you ever had a period Mr. Thatcher?" :lol:

    Thanks for posting!
  7. LOL...I never buy Always pads anyway (for some reason, the adhesive doesn't hold to my panties well), but I think I would feel very much the same way as this person if I saw the phrase, "Have a happy period" printed on my pads.
  8. That is hilarious!!!!!
  9. lol, that is TOO good!! ROFL!!!
  10. lol! I don't use Always, but I too would feel slightly annoyed if the adhesive strips said "have a happy period!" (wtf?! are you kidding me?) :p
  11. Nice! :roflmfao:
  12. woman is ever happy when that time comes around
  13. ^^ agreed. I think a guy must have come up with the slogan to place on the liners, lol!
  14. I never noticed that... now i'm gonna have to go look... I always buy it's not going to make me change companies, but i'd happily sign a petition to get them to change that phrase...
  15. LOL!!! That is too funny