Returning a dog I adopted to the shelter?

sorry, it doesn't seem to be working out for you both. I know this must be very hard on you.
is there a rescue organization in your area that would foster her instead of sending her
back to the shelter?
just a thought.
 
I don't think you are a horrible person but if you wanted a calm dog, why on earth get a 6 month old Terrier? Terriers have tonnes of energy even when they are adults.

If you return her I would really suggest researching the next breed you consider getting. Also, I'm not sure that a puppy of any breed would suit what you say you want.

It makes me very angry to think of all the animals that get handed over to shelters because their humans did not think things through and choose an animal that is appropriate to their lifestyle.
 
It's hard to hear about someone relinquishing a pet and not be knee jerk judgemental.. I have to admit that. There's a big line in the sand for me though...
Some people treat animals as though they are disposable.
but some people simply have to acknowledge that their home is not the proper place for an animal.

One perspective doesn't acknowledge the well being of the creature or concern themself with what happens to the pet after they leave their home. The other acknowledges the pet's needs and well being and tries to make a decision to put them in a more suitable environment.

I don't think 3 days comes anywhere close to adequate time to adjust for either you or Toffee but the tone of what you've written sounds like you are so totally overwhelmed that in this case relinquishing her back to the shelter might be the kindest choice for both of you.

Even if she accepted crating you mention 10 hour workdays and I'm not sure on if that includes drive time or not.. but 10 possibly more hours of crating while you're at work, then crating while you're asleep could easily be 18 hours of crate time a day, far too much for anything I would be comfortable with... 10 hours is quite awhile for any dog to be left alone.. even if they can manage it while they're younger, strictly from the standpoint of holding their bladder that long as they get older they become less able to.. I just wonder about the situation for any dog. I wouldn't say that a single person who works full time should never have a dog but it does take a great deal of dedication. Even something as simple as running a few errands before or after work or stopping out for a bite to eat or with friends can become an impossibility when you're the sole care taker of a dog... When I had a dog it could become a scheduling juggle even though I shared her care with my mother. Making sure that my mom would be home in time to feed her/take her for a walk/make sure she could go to the bathroom before I could commit to going out with friends...

No unkind words for you though. If you want to try and make things work I'd guess there are many people here, some who have already spoken, who might have suggestions. If you feel as strongly as it sounds like you do in your posting that it's simply not going to work out for the two of you then better to acknowledge it now for both of you...

You might have acted hastily in adopting this dog, this breed, and this age but I stick with their are two kinds of pet owners.. those who view them as objects or accessories and those who understand that they have the responsibility of the well being of a creature to take care of. People who understand they have that responsibility need help and support. People who don't understand that.. Well, harsh words won't help there either but I don't think that's who you are at all.

Well said!
 
Whatever you end up doing, next time around be sure to research breeds painstakingly, and think extremely carefully about how the physical layout of your home will accommodate a pet. Crates don't work for all animals, even for most animals... so there always needs to be a plan B.

I can't imagine why the shelter allowed you to take on a 6mo terrier when you don't have time to train her comprehensively, you work late shifts, you have a small apt, and you are used to retriever types with less high-strung temperaments... they are also responsible here. Terriers are high high energy, very intelligent, fond of testing boundaries, and extremely social. They need to be trained with a very firm hand, very consistently, and they need a lot of time with people.

I can sense that you're learning from this experience! So take the lesson, do what you need to do, and next time around you will do better.

Good luck
 
We are human and make mistakes. No one should blame you for acknowledging that this dog would be happier in a different home. Think of it in those terms--you and this dog are not a good match. It's hard not to feel some sense of failure though, even if it's not your fault.

I never thought we would have to return a rescue Boxer, but we did and it turned out badly. We adopted a female that appeared to be good-natured though difficult to train. As we owned her longer, we got some expert opinions about her worrisome behavior (aggressive toward people and other dogs)--she apparently was a puppy mill dog and her brain just wasn't wired *right*. The rescue group blamed us, but I knew we couldn't keep a dog that was a danger to others.

Your case is different but I do think the dog would be happier in a different situation. Think of it as doing the dog a favor. You didn't fail--it just wasn't a good match. Personally, terriers are not a breed that I would favor. Do some research for dogs that are lower-key and who are good in apartments.

Do not feel guilty! You did your best and it didn't work out. Good luck and lots of hugs.
 
I am surprised that people keep repeating over and over that "she is not the right dog for you..."

Isn't that something a responsible pet animal owner determines prior to adopting the animal?? It sounds like the OP took very little time to research what terriers are like. Toffee sounds like every other terrier I have heard of...............it's her owner who is behaving questionably.
Forget the fact that OP is dismissing every suggestion given to her so she might salvage her relationship with this living creature and not return it to possibly perish or be deemed a difficult placement. She already knows she is returning the dog and is looking for reassurance.
Yes, "return" her as if she were a pair of shoes, but don't ask me for sympathy or the stamp of approval. And don't "adopt" another animal! (Did someone actually suggest OP might not be a "dog person" but a "cat person" instead?) We are talking about unwanted animals, right? Maybe OP is a reptile person and should go in that direction or a fish person? Maybe run the whole gamut of options and treat the shelter like a freakin' Nordstrom.

Sheesh. I need a cocktail.
 
I should know better than to read an OP's posting history, but without being nitpicky...

OP has a decent income and could afford to have Toffee trained, unless something has changed.

OP works the "late shift" because she chooses to do so and can set her own hours, again, unless something has changed.

OP is by no means stupid and if she knows how to research plastic surgeons she certainly knows how to research dog breeds.

Yeah, I know I sound bit**y as all get out, but there is something really unseemly about coming here, all doe eyed like you made a terrible error, and need a pat on the head, when you did this with complete and utter disregard for a dog who is probably desperate for companionship and stability. Seriously, can you please explain how you overlooked the need to research this breed??
 
I'm not saying the op is a bad person but i cant believe anyone would want to take an animal back to a shelter. It really upsets me. Some dogs are going to be annoying but so can children. Would you get rid of your child? I know alot of people will say its not the same thing but to me it is.

I admire people who go to shelters and give an animal a loving home. I hate it when people want to take them back.

Not sure what you have decided to do but i really hope you havent. Please dont.
 
You've only had this puppy for a week, you need to be more patient! Any young dog or puppy will need extensive training, patience, and consistency to be well-mannered. It sounds as though you need to hire a dog trainer to train YOU how to train this new pup!

Having any puppy (under a year) is not an easy task, but you should know that working in shelters and owning dogs in the past. Once you get past that stage, things will be much easier. A young terrier mix will have more energy than a lot of other breeds, then again ALL puppies have a ton of energy! If I were you I would either find a recommended trainer on my own, or call the shelter and ask if they can recommend one. I would not return this puppy because you have to put effort into it and not give up so easy!

Also, crate training is essential for housebreaking and their SAFETY when they are young to keep them from chewing on or eating things that can kill them! All dogs fight the crate at first, it is not torturing them. You have to let them know it's not a 'bad' place to go, all my dogs used crates when we weren't home until the age of 10 months and after that they never did again. Dogs DO feel safe in crates when they get used to them, as long as they are not used for punishment. I've raised many puppies and can tell you raising any puppy is NEVER easy but when you take the time and effort they will turn into a wonderful adult dog!
 
I am surprised that people keep repeating over and over that "she is not the right dog for you..."

Isn't that something a responsible pet animal owner determines prior to adopting the animal?? It sounds like the OP took very little time to research what terriers are like. Toffee sounds like every other terrier I have heard of...............it's her owner who is behaving questionably.
Forget the fact that OP is dismissing every suggestion given to her so she might salvage her relationship with this living creature and not return it to possibly perish or be deemed a difficult placement. She already knows she is returning the dog and is looking for reassurance.
Yes, "return" her as if she were a pair of shoes, but don't ask me for sympathy or the stamp of approval. And don't "adopt" another animal! (Did someone actually suggest OP might not be a "dog person" but a "cat person" instead?) We are talking about unwanted animals, right? Maybe OP is a reptile person and should go in that direction or a fish person? Maybe run the whole gamut of options and treat the shelter like a freakin' Nordstrom.

Sheesh. I need a cocktail.



:tup:
 
The problem with coming down on someone like a ton of bricks when it comes to pet ownership is that you will then usually drive them away from resources that have the best interest of the pet in mind... If someone isn't equipped to properly care for a pet berating and guilting them into it won't improve the animal's quality of life.

I don't understand how the OP could not know what terriers are like after volunteering at a shelter previously. We left our terrier mix alone, uncrated in our home in her first year and came home to several thousand in damages and had to suck it up as part of the cost of ownership, experience, and deal with it and take responsibility for raising a dog properly. If I know someone can't do that, and can't provide a safe and supportive environment for the animal though... I'd rather speak gently so that they don't quit listening to me and suggest that they do what's best for the dog and caution about future decisions. If you start flaying someone verbally they aren't very likely to listen to anything.. It ends up being an animal that suffers for it because advocates for their well being get tuned out. Just my experience.
 
The problem with coming down on someone like a ton of bricks when it comes to pet ownership is that you will then usually drive them away from resources that have the best interest of the pet in mind... If someone isn't equipped to properly care for a pet berating and guilting them into it won't improve the animal's quality of life.

I don't understand how the OP could not know what terriers are like after volunteering at a shelter previously. We left our terrier mix alone, uncrated in our home in her first year and came home to several thousand in damages and had to suck it up as part of the cost of ownership, experience, and deal with it and take responsibility for raising a dog properly. If I know someone can't do that, and can't provide a safe and supportive environment for the animal though... I'd rather speak gently so that they don't quit listening to me and suggest that they do what's best for the dog and caution about future decisions. If you start flaying someone verbally they aren't very likely to listen to anything.. It ends up being an animal that suffers for it because advocates for their well being get tuned out. Just my experience.

I would agree with you under other circumstances, but OP has already made up her mind to return the dog, which is probably the best thing for Toffee given the OP's lack of commitment. Her responses to all of the really good and reasonable suggestions on how to best work with the dog sounded like one excuse after another. She should not have a dog or cat or hamster in her care, and if that shelter is smart, they will flag her name so another animal doesn't end up the in the same predicament.
 
Thank you all for the responses.... I'm just feeling so helpless and confused right now.

I took the last few days off to help the dog adjust to the home, but as I've mentioned, I need to go back to work ASAP. If I don't make any money, I can't afford to pay for myself, let alone the dog. I have no idea what to do with her when I go to work. Doggie Day Care isn't really an option since I work a late shift (6pm-4am ish). I can't keep her in a crate because she'll scream the entire night and my neighbors will probably call the cops. My apartment has an open kitchen so I can't section her off in there either..

it's not the dog, it's the owner. Please don't think that this dog is the one with the issue. It's not entirely your fault but if you re-read your post above I don't see how you can have any dog as a pet let alone this one that may not have worked out. I would have taken a look at my schedule and my finances and realized that this absolutely does not make sense. Cats are much easier with your schedule and lifestyle I think. The dog may have some attachment issues being that it just came from the shelter. I wouldn't play around with another life and "try out" another dog. It's not really fair. If you have more support some day or a different work schedule then maybe I would suggest going for a dog. All dogs are a lot of work. Big or small. They all want love and need to be walked and played with, especially when they're puppies and full of energy.
What happens if the dog gets sick. Do you know how much vet bills can cost? I would ask the shelter if they took back the dog if they could guarantee that he would be on the no-kill list or what are the chances of him finding another home. Make a donation or something for him. Pay for some bags of food while he's there since it's your mistake and not theirs. I know people make mistakes but I just wish they'd really think through the consequences before they went forward with adoption. This is a life we're talking about dog or not. Don't get a dog.