Resignation Drama (long story)

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  1. hi All,

    the last 2 days have been an emotional rollercoaster to me. I need to vent and ask for your opinions.
    I have been in my current job for a little over 1 yr now. its a small team of 4, and there is a senior in the team. I hate him and I just cant get along with him. He is very lazy, condecending, a back stabber, a total lick ass to the boss and keep alot of important information to himself. he is an asian born here. He hated me because I am asian born overseas (so i dont have perfect english), and that i worked a yr in admin (he refered to me as ppl from admin!), & that I was quiet ( he said I was a pushover). abit of background on me (not to boast, but to show u how unfair he define me as ppl from admin) - i had double degrees from excellent Aus uni, had scholarship and won academic awards but I am no nerd. anyway in july (just a few days away from 1 yr) i asked my boss if i could apply for another job internally. He was upset cos I was his succession plan (when my senior go) but let me apply, only if i told my senior abt it. Well, it didnt go well, I didnt get the internal job. My boss welcomed me to stay and said he will see that things change with my senior, and i got to be patient. Since then I have been having catch up sessions with this senior to talk out our misscommunications problems. My boss just didnt do very much about it, its very disappointing for him, its all just words, and I lost my loyalty. Its working things out a little better, but there are times where i just feel he is just his condecending self. for example, he brought up the fact i didnt get the internal job i applied for, and he said .. i cant go applyng for other jobs in the future (doing diff things) .. cos he will think i just want an escape and he said i promise to be committed after not getting the internal job. I hate it he made me feel like i am stuck. I told hi, but couldnt get ovet this.
    anyway time has passed since then, things get a little better, but i still cant work with my senior, and my boss is just keeping an eye close.
    i went looking for an external jobs, there were tons and tons of interview, very encouraging for me. and my boss suspects that i was looking, asked me if i were, i got scared and lie. then, it turns out one of my interview went so well, and it was my dream job & company, so I accepted it. I had to wait until i sign my contract and told him (right? to cover myself.. I dont want to get booted and then didnt get things finalise)... so
    i handed in my resignation, boss wasnt happy, he said he feel betrayed! that I lied to him abt not looking, plus i didnt stay for 2 yrs as he has wanted me too, and he wont reference for me. I apologised abt the lieng thing (is it such a big deal, how many ppl would own up?!) but i was so shocked! i have been a very good worker, great quality work ( he admitted this too, so did my senior). i felt he was just using the petty - u didnt stay for 2 yrs, I am not obligated to give you reference. he tried counter offer, I just feel he is so selfish, my new job is definitely more challengin and its a great career advancement for me, there is no way he can counter offer his way for me to stay. we are talking abt 25% increase here. If he could have afford counter offer, he could have afford to pay me more then. I have always stayed back at work, he neveer paid me over time, taxi to get home or evening meal time. Was also such a cheapo on my performance review, saying I was just doing my job!
    my senior sat down with me (1 on 1), i thought it was going to be a thanks for everything, good bye, good luck, hand shake thing. no it wasnt, here was a few things he said
    - I got the new job, probably cos someone rejected its offer, and I got it.
    - I burn my bridges with current boss, work mates, basically everyone in my big team, cos I lied when asked and didnt stay for 2 years. he is trying to say my career is doom, cos in finance industry, ppl know ppl and ppl move around to other companies, they will hear rumours abtme,. I was shocked!.. wat the hell did i do wrong to deserve this?! so i told him, well if boss thinks that the facti was truthful has undo all my hardwork for 1 yr, then let it be. I have apologised like a million times.
    - he called me ppl from admin again, he said only know processing, dont know how to think outside the box (he was from call centre goodness!!) and if I have lied in my interview, abt not having the experience in trading shares.
    i didnt said anything bad to him, i grabbed my boss after wards and told him the insults i got, then we called my senior into the room, and he apologized. my boss said he has to notify my head of department, so he said I should mention this too during my catch up. so .. I did, the head was very shock and had a stern word with my senior. He tried to make me stay and even offered to be my reference (for my career advancement in the same company but not outside), I refused, cos I said its tempting but I couldnt stay longer in the same team as my senior. he wanted me to stay 6 months, wait for mys enior to move on, be a senior for 6 months may be, then move on.
    now, my boss seems to hate me, cos i think the head also had a stern word with him. my boss asked if i want to leave earlier than my 2 weeks notice, i said ok. the head didnt agree, i dont know why. now things are awkward, and I am hating it. what are ur thoughts? i am very sad and disturbed.

    - although the boss has agreed to be my ref, i shouldnt list him, wat do u think?
    - when my handover is complete in a few days, should i ask to go earlier?
    - should i apologize to my boss again? or just leave it? i dont want to have more uncomfortable conversations, but then if i dont talk to him now, wont ever again may be.
  2. Show up and stick it out for your two weeks notice.
    If you leave before that it will look bad and your boss can mention it to other potential employers.
    You have no reason to feel bad for leaving a job in under 2 years. The employment climate is different now, people don't stay at jobs for 25-30 years, people move around.
    There is no reason to stay at a job for any length of time that you don't enjoy.
    Your boss asked you if you wanted to leave early to set you up. His boss (the head) likely realizes this thats why he didn't agree.
    Two weeks is not a long time, you should stick it out. It will be better for youin the end.
  3. i will stick it out, its just another week now, cos they took 3 days to try to talk me to stay.
  4. WOAH...Thats alot to ingest...Im sorry for you but it seems like its time to move on..Good for you for getting a new job..Move on and dont look back.You are better off without those people at your job.
  5. good advice Shyloo. I agree.
  6. I agree with Shyloo, stay for the two period! Don't argue with no one, just do your job, and after the 2 weeks leave! Congrats on getting a new job, ok! Try to relax, and be happy that you are changing atmosphere, and will soon enjoy your new job.
  7. ITA to stick it out those two weeks (having just resigned from a job today with two week's notice...).

    The way you leave a position is just as important as how you came on board and your performance while you were there. Offer to help train your replacement if at all possible or get things in order, document how you do things so it's easier for the next person, etc. There may not be a lot of incentive to do with what with all that transpired, but it's good Karma :wlae: .
  8. thank u all.. congratulations to those who got a new job too
    i do plan to stick 2 weeks, but if my boss wants me to go earlier?
    I am not arguing with anyone, and I have been my normal self, working and completing all the work. i havent got my handover documents yet.
    I know leaving a work place is just as important as starting a new place.
    its the heartache and disappointment that i feel hard to swallow
    is what i did so bad, lieing abt trying to find a new job externally?
    I really dont know that I would get it... plus it has been about 1 month and i growing tired of looking for a job already... cos i have been lucky and everyday i had 8 am interview and i have stayed back till 6 every day at work, come on sit on till 12. so i was growing tired of it.
    i didnt know the whole process it was going to be so fast, i went for the interview in the morn, and on that day my boss called to ask me if i were still looking.
  9. The only thing wrong was that you lied. I know from the experience I had that that is a big bridge burner and you don't want to burn bridges in terms of work ever. People knows other people you know or will get to know. This is true in any kind of job these days and especially so in legal/financial expecially if you're staying in the area. Plus, what if your current work found out you lied to your old work when looking for a job? Won't they be hesitant to trust you with certain projects or duties cause you might be looking for another job when they're moving you up to take over a position or something?

    You don't have an obligation to stay there so you don't have to feel bad that your boss thought you were gonna stay there for 2 years unless you have a contract. I sort of do with mine so I am staying and completing my three years and then I'm gone. I always hated the two weeks notice thing but that's what you do if you want to resign. Stick it out. Finish what you have to finish there and make sure you let them know what needs to be done that isn't done at the time you're leaving.

    Congrats on your new job. I'm glad you found something you'd find more challenging than how you described your old one.
  11. this is exactly what i was thinking.
    especially cos i applied for an internal role and i didnt get it.
    so i really2 wanted to lay low before i got something confirmed.
    and i know that if i told my boss i was looking, he would insist to tell my senior again, and he would make my life more difficult than it already is.
    when i didnt get the internal role, he sure made my life difficult. i have come home crying myself to sleep for almost 1 whole month, during quarterly reporting. he was just terrible, coming to me at 5 30 and demanding things done, i stayed till 7 not get paid or anything. on the rare occasion (like 1 day of 2 weeks!) i got to go early, he would act like I am tryin to sneak out early, i was leaving at 5 15 PM. one day when i was off sick ( late nite, emotionall rollercoaster, crying to sleep, unhappiness at work) he acted like i have to pay for it when i come back to work.
    I was so stressed out and sad.. that I grind my teeth when i sleep, my jaw wasnt inline, i had to take out my wisdom toooth so that my jaws settle down. Its all fine now, it was like a wake up call for me to find a new job, and break th 2 yrs time thing, u know.. for the sake of my mental state.

    i am not excusing that I did the right thing lieing, but i got no choice in my opinion. just for future reference, what should I do in the future?
  12. I think it is unprofessional of them to ask that question in the first place. In my line of work, if I was asked I would reply by saying that " I am always open to other offers, internally or otherwise". I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that.
    You spend 40+ hours a week at your job, it should not make you cry at night when you should be having fun.
  13. i knew that my boss would insist that I tell my senior, if i told him i was still looking for another role. I dont know, should i still tell him this? I was to make things right with the boss for damage control reasons (for the sake of my career future--- and what kathyrose said). the catch up with my senior helped communication problems, as he is not so condecending anymore, but his behavior is so bad, i wasnt able to be fully honest of the situation, cos I dont want to sound like a whinger. U see, I have an all men team, and I was the only girl in that team.
    what should I do?
  14. I wouldn't do anything except come in to work for the rest of your notice. Don't talk anymore about it, you will come off as emotional.
    Think about your new job and how fun it will be, put this one behind you.
    I wouldn't waste anymore time thinking about it.
  15. Congratulations on your new job. People leave jobs all the time for better offers. Just stick it out the two weeks and do a good job until the end. You want to know that you did the best possible job and not give them a reason to doubt your abilities. As mentioned, you or a future company you work for may be involved with them again and you do not want them doubting your work. I also agree not to bring it up anymore. Drama in the workplace is unprofessional. Just do the job your paid to do and leave when it is over. Congrats again.