relationship help, please?

  1. hi, guys! my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years now. about a month ago, he said he didn't feel like he was really in love with me anymore. we still hang out and act like we're together. he still acts like he's in love with me (regardless of what he said) and i am still very much in love with him. what do you guys think i should do? i think the main problem is that we see eachother A LOT (we work and go to school together). what can i do? i don't want to lose him... should i believe what he says or how he acts?
  2. You need to distance yourself. That means DON'T see him. DON'T pick up the phone and call. You need to find out if he's really happy without you in his life. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Let him work out whatever is going on with him.
  3. It sounds like he's hanging onto you until he finds someone else. He's fallen into the comfort zone and it's hard to let go. I believe guys mean it when they say that they are no longer in love with that person or vice versa. I know it will be ten times harder said than done but elongreach is right, the only way is to cut off all contacts .... I've been in a relationship that dragged on 4 years too long (total 7 yrs)...
  4. so the way he acts shouldn't be considered (he still kisses me and says he loves me)? i'm just hoping that not all is lost with him... is it possible for him to fall back in love, if he really fell out of it?
  5. Sorry... but I don't think it's right that he can say that he feels he's not really in love with you anymore, and just pretend like he never said it. ie just acting like everything's normal.

    I think you need to make him decide if he's either in or out of the relationship. It won't be fair to you otherwise.. and you won't be happy cos you'll constantly be double guessing at his intentions. :sad:
  6. That's so difficult to decipher. guys are so evil . =/ No matter what they do, he already said what he said. Do you think maybe you can have another serious conversation with him about that?.. I truly believe that if it was meant to be, he will come back to you (provided that there are no contacts in between )...
  7. My gf was in a marriage where her husband told her after some time that he did not love her any longer. He continued to stay with her (for the kids and it was simply easier) and they seemed the same but he grew very bitter and the truth was her REALLY didn't love her anymore. The divorce was very bitter. To me it doesn't make sense why he would say that if he didn't mean it.

    My Dh says from a man's perspective he is only staying until he finds someone else. OUCH. I really don't want to say that, that was my hubby's 2 cents.
  8. agree!

    and jydeal, guys can be evil! just wanted to confirm that as well.

    three years, and with not a lot of time lately, things change.

    hope everything works out well for the both of you! but please, please, don't let it be a relationship that drags on! life is precious.
  9. I agree with the others. Hard as it is, start keeping your distance. He may have been honest in saying that he didn't feel like he was in love with you anymore, but he can't have it both ways: keeping his options open for himself and still having you around. Friends-with-benefits can be unfair to at least one person, usually the one who's still in love and wants to continue the relationship.

    He said he didn't love you and then he says he does?:confused1:
  10. he does tell me that. every day. and he acts like he's still in love with me, too. that's why i'm not sure what to believe- what he says, or what he does?:confused1:
  11. OMG it's so sad, I miss the little picture in your signature, which was SOOOO cute :sad:

    I know it's hard, but I do agree with the others, stay away from him. I don't know how he said he doesn't love you anymore. Was it like an official break-up, or just a confession that he doesn't feel the same anymore?

    Have a conversation with him, make him understand that since he doesn't love you anymore, it's just not right for you guys to hang out (or even kissing) with each other. Although you still love him and want to keep this relationship, let's just give each other some time to think through this.

    At the same time ask yourself, do you still really really love him, or you just can't let go of this 3 year relationship?

    When you've cut down all contacts with him, come here more often to look at beautiful ladies modelling and gorgeous purses, in order to go through all the lonely long nights. Just make sure you don't contact him.

    If you guys are in true love, you'll have a happy ending.
  12. Get pissed off and ask him for a proper answer!!!! It's not something funny. You're entering the state of confusion because of him.

    If he's one of those guys who just can't make up his mind, well, it is time.

    Be bold girl.
  13. I know what you are going through is painful. Naturally you don't want to loose someone you love. Someone told me once that " If you love someone let them go and if they come back to you, then they are yours, if not they never were." Take care!
  14. I would distance myself a bit, no matter how much it hurts. I also wouldn't want to think of myself as just something that he's holding on to until someone else possibly comes along - this would probably add fuel to my fire of wanting to distance myself. *hugs* I hope things improve for you.
  15. i don't really know what it was, only because of the way things played out after he said what he said. he still holds me, kisses me, and stuff, so i really don't know. i don't call him that much anymore, even. i'm trying to slowly distance myself from him, but it's hard because i love him so much and i want to be with him. i was so confused the day it happened because months before, we actually seemed to be getting along better than we had been in a while.

    BTW: that pic was taken the day after he said all that stuff. i only took it off so i could add the link to this page so i can get advice... i'm probably going to put it back on soon...