Question on being a fiancée

  1. What are you supposed to do when you are engaged?

    I mean I’ve been for a long time (almost a year) but the lifestyle has not changed. I still live in my own separate house, don’t see him face-to-face everyday but I’m reading that he should have given me the keys to his house and I should be moving in with him (this is not troubling me, is that strange because obviously some live together since day one of being in the relationship) and live with him permanently since he had asked for my hand onwards.

    Is that really the appropriate thing to do and what did you ladies do – acting, living, well in fact any difference between when you were the Girlfriend and when you were the fiancée?
  2. I think it is up to the individual. I already lived with my now-husband befor we were engaged but after we got engaged we shared everything. Finances etc. It has been since we have married that not much has changed as we already lived as married.

    I think it depends what you want? Do you want a key, to be living together etc? If so, speak to your fiance. if not, just enjoy being engaged!
  3. My husband and I didn't move in together until after we got married. But I say do whatever is working for you. I think it is more about what you feel, if you want to move in together then you should but if you don't then don't. We did give each other keys to our places before we were engaged, but that was what we were comfortable with at the time. Don't worry about what other people think is normal, it is more important to do what you feel is best for you.

    Congrats and enjoy your engagement!
  4. I think it depends and varies couple to couple. If you're fine with how things are, just be happy and enjoy the relationship as you always have. Don't worry about what's appropriate to other people, whatever you feel is right is right for you.

    Congrats! :smile:
  5. Just do whatever feels right to you. There are no 'rules'. I lived together with my now hubby at the GF/BF stage, we then got engaged and lived in different countries to pursue our education! Then we got married and have been so for 22 years. Enjoy every stage of your relationship and be flexible.
  6. This sounds like great advice. I have been with my hubby for 15 years....we lived together and have been married for 3 years....the relationship is primarily the same....the love and respect is deeper....
  7. I am not trying to force my religion on you or anyone else but it is not Biblical. He will also in my opinion respect you more for waiting until you are married.
    I always try, in decisions such as these to refer to "Gods" word and what He has to say about it. Not just one verse here and there but the context of a passage.
  8. I am not religious so I don't believe I lived in 'sin' :smile:
  9. I am not religioius either, I just had this hang-up that I would lose my freedom once we moved in together. Little did I know how wonderful it would be.
  10. like everyone else said, it depends on you and your relationship. if your expectations are being met, the heck with the rest of it.
  11. Now that it came up, I think "living in sin" is a good idea. :P It'll let you know what it'll be like when you get married and have to live together. It might prepare you for little things that might bug you. I haven't lived with my boyfriend, but we've vistied for longish periods(about a month or so) and he has some gross habits! I think it's better to know about that sooner rather than later, and it can also show you if you're compatible in a home environment... hope that makes sense!
  12. I agree with eff, I think getting married would have been a lot more stressful had we had to adjust to each other's living habits etc as well. The planning of the wedding was stressful enough!
  13. I concur. The more sin the better. Several at once if I can help it. An orgy of sin, if you will.:devil:

    I think you should do whatever it is that's good for you and your guy. If what you're doing now works-stick with it. If you're ready to try something else-for it. I think getting hung up on what others expect you to do or what you think you should be doing only hurts a relationship.
  14. hehehe. see this is exactly why it wouldn't have worked with my relationship. my husband has told me a few times (sometimes in jest, usually just as fact) that if i'd agreed to live with him like everyone wanted me to and he'd known the full extent of my bad habits he'd have RUN fast and FAR. moving in after we got married gave us a stable base to learn and grow from and our relationship is stronger for it. it's what works best for each individual couple. :smile:

  15. I would say dont worry about what you're reading and what others do. Reason is that it might not be right for you.

    Move at your own pace, and do what feels right for you.

    Have you talked about living together before marriage? Maybe your partener isnt comfy with this.

    Good luck with what ever the two of you decide.