Problems with my SO's doorman

  1. My SO lives in a very nice highrise in Gold Coast in Chicago and for the large part, the service there is great. However, there is one doorman who is so surly and rude to me, I'm amazed!

    You have to be buzzed into the elevators to go up to the apartments. I visit my boyfriend everyday and he has left my name at the front desk. Everyone is very nice about buzzing me in except this guy. Whenever I am loitering around the gate waiting to be buzzed in, he starts to hassle me like I'm trying to rob the apartments! He always spends several minutes going through "documentation" to find my name before buzzing me. Or, if he sees me coming, he'll disappear into a back room for several minutes.

    He's also the primary guy who handles the mail because there's a mail service... I had several important letters/packages sent to my BF's house because I thought it was a very secure place, but now I've never had so much missing mail in my life.

    I don't want to seem paranoid, and I don't know if the doorman is singling me out or anything. I spoke with my SO about it and he dropped by the office to tell the guy to make sure that he lets me in. This building doesn't have that many residences and it's expected that he should know the regulars who come in and out anyway in these kinds of buildings. At this point, I'm tired of having a little mini-battle everytime I enter this place. Should I have my SO write a letter to his home owner's association? I'm just wary of this doorman getting more pissed and starting to lose my SO's mail!
  2. Is there a manager for the building, this guy's supervisor? If so, can your BF talk to him or her? It's just unacceptable for him to be doing this--it borders on very shady behavior. I wish I had some concrete suggestion for you. If possible, I wouldn't have anything mailed or delivered there.
  3. ^^^
    Thanks, Boxermom. I had a reimbursement check from my school delivered to that address, which should have been here a week ago but clearly has been lost or misplaced, among other mail including my PASSPORT which was sent securely via FedEx. I will not have anything sent there from now on.
  4. It's illegal to take your mail. I am sure there is a mail sorter in the apartment building and I think the doorman only gets the mail after it has been sorted.

    I too lived downtown Chicago and remember my share of rude doormen!!! It is not abnormal to be buzzed in - it is actually quite common.

    Try bringing the doorman in question a coffee from Starbucks - maybe you just got off on a bad foot with him?
  5. You should be able to find out who signed for the Fedex delivery.....

    You should definately have your SO write to the building manager.
  6. I am so fortunate to have great doormen. Make sure you tell him to add your name to receiving mail because in many buildings if your name is not on the list or associated with the apartment they can send it back if they want to be *******s. I would suggest talking to a manager as well. Good luck. Unfortunately they have a union so its not so easy for them to get fired however do make sure to put in complaints because if you are not the only one he is treating poorly I am sure sooner or later they will be able to get rid of him.
  7. ^^ Definitely add your SO in the mail you'll be receveing. I did this with BF when I had mail sent to his apartment when he was in college. I did my name c/o SO name.
  8. ^^ Good Idea. I also agree that it may be worth taking him a starbucks or something - bribery goes a long way as does flattery. I know his behaviour stinks but it may be worth a go - Good Luck:flowers:
  9. I'm one of those people who believe that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Kill him with kindness I say. Next time you see him, I would just come out and ask him, "you know, you really make me feel very uncomfortable and I don't understand why. did I offend you in some way because if so please tell me and I will apologize. I'm going to come here often and would rather we be friends than have this tension."
    Then bring him a muffin or something the next day. People like this are unhappy people and expect negativity. Do the opposite and see what happens.
  10. LOL I love you, bagsnshoos! You have such guts. I'll have to summon up some courage to say that. It's easier to get pissed than to rationally ask "What's the deal?", you know what I mean? I DO wonder if I stepped on his toes once... maybe I passed him in the street without saying hello or something. I can't think of anything, but I'll try a little kindness.

    Meanwhile, I don't know what to do about all this missing mail.
  11. Is your SO missing any mail, too? You mentioned the Gold Coast part of Chicago. My son lived in Lakeview for a few years and missed mail because the mail carriers weren't delivering all of it! I used to live in n. IL and recall reading about several cases of that happening.

    If it's the doorman (or mail carrier), he's committing a federal offense.
  12. oh, well, if you are missing mail - put sugar in his gas tank! :lol: J/K. I guess you'd have to find some proof that he has anything to do with it. I would maybe bring the missing mail to the attention of the building manager or the property owners directly. They can do the investigation for you.
  13. Boxermom, I just logged what sounds like yet another complaint about lost/undelivered mail with USPS. They didn't have a lot to say about it, however.

    Bagsnshoos, thanks, my SO said he will talk to them today. Bah!
  14. What a bummer you are having to deal with this! Hope it all works out!
  15. Call the Postal Inspector and let them know that you have evidence to suggest that someone is holding or stealing your mail. They take that very seriously.