Possible neg? Opinions needed.

AJ1025

-- bag/dog lady --
Jan 8, 2011
2,078
4
Berkeley, California
My opinion is going against the majority here.

There's no doubt the shoes were used and no doubt that even though the pictures are blurry, at least one of the pictures showed damage on the side of the sole and another a damaged sole. And in the description, the seller implied the rough shape in her "Pictures and Price Reflected."

But what bothers me most is your first message to the seller that specifically mention the "many reasons" for negging her.

She immediately responded that you could return the shoes for a refund. (And in fact, that message TWICE mentions to return for refund.

And again, you respond that you'd rather neg than return and lose money on shipping fees. (She never mentioned that she wouldn't reimburse shipping, but it seems you were intent on negging from the beginning.)

In both her messages, she said to return. What more can she do? And you still want to neg her?!?

I'm sorry based on this case, I don't think any feedback is appropriate. But negative feedback (or even neutral here) are inappropriate because the seller has done (or attempted to do everything right) and you aren't willing to take her up on her offer.

Either the shoes are good enough to keep, in which case there shouldn't have been mention (twice) of negging or they're not good enough to keep and you take the seller up on her offer to accept a return (an offer made three times in two messages).

If indeed you were offering constructive criticism to the seller about disclosure, feedback should never have been mentioned. In fact, you might find yourself in hot water should she report feedback extortion.

I'm sorry but I do think you're wrong.


I could not agree more with BeenBurned's post.

I can empathize with your frustration, but I'd say a neg is ultimately uncalled for- it's not like she listed the shoes as new or in perfect condition or is refusing to work with you. The listing photos clearly show the shoes are not in like-new condition and she's offered multiple times to take them back.

You won't return them and I'm really wondering what would constitute a happy resolution of this transaction for you? You made the choice to spend money having them cleaned before you let her know you weren't happy with their condition; I'd hate to see a seller who seems totally willing to try to work with you get a neg because you've already decided there's nothing she can do to make you happy.

Why contact her if it's just to rub the neg in her face and you don't actually want anything? I'd be enraged if a buyer sent me messages about everything they thought I'd done wrong, then refused to entertain options for a return/resolution. Sure, she's not being super friendly about it (not a classy move, in my opinion) but I might have trouble being polite in this scenario as well.

I also agree with BB that much of the content of your messages to the seller sound a lot like feedback extortion. Again, how could she resolve this situation to make you happy, since she obviously can't hop in a time machine and re-write her original listing? What are you asking her for if not a full return? If you're not giving her options for her to resolve this with you, I honestly don't get why you'd even bother contacting her at all. Also, OF COURSE she's trying to protect her feedback- if I were her, it would be the only reason I wouldn't just tell a buyer in this situation to eff off. She's not looking for some sort of 'teaching moment' with a disgruntled buyer, she's trying to actually resolve the problem and protect her status as a 100% FB seller. IMHO, she's doing her best to be civil and accommodating and you're not working with her.

I'm honestly sorry this transaction was not a happy one for you :flowers:- I know ebay can be very maddening in this department. If I were in your shoes (heh), I'd return them and chalk this up as a lesson learned: ask LOTS of questions before buying pre-owned items that are clearly not in pristine condition. Maybe a neutral is called for here, but to me, even that's a stretch. Good luck working this out; I hope it goes smoothly for both parties from here on out.
 

mizsunshyne

Member
Mar 8, 2010
1,367
0
Thank you all for your input. I highly appreciate looking at all views and angles before leaving any FB.

You have all given me options to choose from in regards to my situation.

All in all, this transaction has left me bitter. Even if I return them, it doesn't make me happy. I cleaned the shoes which had altered its original condition, yet I did the seller's job for her. The shoes are in better condition overall than before.

I can see from the seller's POV that it would be out of line to leave a neg after she offered to refund me twice and I refused. This is why I am here, to get facts and opinions about what is fair and reasonable versus what is not.

I will leave no FB but whether I will keep or return the shoes is still debatable for me.

I'd like to add that even if my message sounded like I tried to extort the seller, I never meant it to be misinterpreted that way. I wasn't looking for a refund or a partial. I was only leaving reasons to my neg so she wouldn't have to wonder or ask me why. Her policy stated no refunds. Why would she make an exception for me? I never expected her to do so.

This was my only reason for contacting her in the first place when a problem arises for me. A nice apology about the shoes not cleaned before shipment would have greatly eased my frustration or owning up to a poorly packaged box. Seller just blamed someone else.

Maybe I had misinterpreted the attitude or vibe I received from her 1st message. I found it rude, very negative and unprofessional. She doesn't want me to be satisfied. She just wants me to go away. Plus, telling me that there are other individuals interested in the item is like telling me, "your loss I can sell it to more deserving people". BTW, it is possible to photograph all visible flaws. All in all, I learned my lesson. I am not an unreasonable person. I am not a jerk who just gives away undeserving negs. I can be the nicest person in the world for those who get to know me and those that already do.

Thank you all for trying to understand me and for those who don't, I don't mind at all. I won't take it to heart.
 

limom

O.G.
Mar 24, 2009
11,991
8,343
I agree with you 100%.
Theses shoes are a mess and that seller is rude as He$$.
Furthermore why blame the husband? Moronic move.
You dealt with a person with no manner nor class nor common courtesy.

I can feel your frustration thru my screen.:smile:
Even if you were to neg this person, she will still blame it on YOU and never even grasp where she went wrong.
Don't waste your time and move on, my two cents!
 

mashanyc

Member
Oct 19, 2010
673
0
My opinion is going against the majority here.

There's no doubt the shoes were used and no doubt that even though the pictures are blurry, at least one of the pictures showed damage on the side of the sole and another a damaged sole. And in the description, the seller implied the rough shape in her "Pictures and Price Reflected."

But what bothers me most is your first message to the seller that specifically mention the "many reasons" for negging her.

She immediately responded that you could return the shoes for a refund. (And in fact, that message TWICE mentions to return for refund.

And again, you respond that you'd rather neg than return and lose money on shipping fees. (She never mentioned that she wouldn't reimburse shipping, but it seems you were intent on negging from the beginning.)

In both her messages, she said to return. What more can she do? And you still want to neg her?!?

I'm sorry based on this case, I don't think any feedback is appropriate. But negative feedback (or even neutral here) are inappropriate because the seller has done (or attempted to do everything right) and you aren't willing to take her up on her offer.

Either the shoes are good enough to keep, in which case there shouldn't have been mention (twice) of negging or they're not good enough to keep and you take the seller up on her offer to accept a return (an offer made three times in two messages).

If indeed you were offering constructive criticism to the seller about disclosure, feedback should never have been mentioned. In fact, you might find yourself in hot water should she report feedback extortion.

I'm sorry but I do think you're wrong.


I could not agree more.
 

noshoepolish

Labrador Lover
Authenticator
O.G.
Oct 4, 2006
9,817
116
I do not buy shoes on eBay but those photos show the shoes being well used and in need of major cleaning and perhaps repair. But there are also rules about sanitizing shoes before selling them. Something about wearing someone elses shoes bothers me. Kind of like wearing someone elses underwear. But to each their own.

I would just not leave feedback for her. You let her know you were disappointed in the condition. Move on. Not every transactions requires feedback.

The above is JMHO

As an added note: Some of the feedback you left for others is totally removable by eBay and could cause dings to your seller account and could cause you to lose it.

You can respond to feedback left for you but you cannot leave a positive and say you have to file an UPID. You cannot mention anything about opening a case of any type:

We don't allow Feedback comments that contain:

Links or scripts

References to eBay or PayPal investigations

Negative statements left for a buyer that conflict with the positive rating

Personally identifying information about another member, including real name, address, phone number, or email address

Political, religious, or social commentary rather than a genuine comment about the transaction

Comments, replies, or follow-ups that reference a separate transaction

Profane, vulgar, obscene, or racist language, or adult material


You can respond to feedback left by someone if you respond in a factual way. If they leave a positive and say great item, you can respond to feedback left with something like "Slow to Pay" or whatever.
 

limom

O.G.
Mar 24, 2009
11,991
8,343
The op was simply looking for an apology, imo.
However, it takes a rational and humble person to realize that a sorry can go a long way.

Lastly, did anyone look at the feedback the seller left for others?:lol::lol:
 

Mixedbag

Member
Aug 9, 2011
252
1
My sunroom
I'm really sorry this transaction went down the way it did. I wouldn't send them back after putting money into getting them repaired. I think the silver lining is the lesson learned, KWIM?

Why not leave a positive but write something along the lines of, "ok transaction. Shoes were much more worn than pictures reflect." I've seen buyers leave feedback like that before. It doesn't hurt the seller's score, but does give honest feedback. Of course, that opens the door to seller responding with something along the lines of, "refund offered several times & refused by difficult buyer." So it's sort of a lose lose now that I've worked the scenario through in my head.

ETA: Not saying you were difficult, I'm just going by what the seller expressed in her message to you. :smile:
 

gsmom

Member
Feb 4, 2010
3,764
4
OP, you keep saying you feel bitter about the transaction, but I don't understand why when seller has offered you a refund. So her communication skills aren't the greatest in that she sounds harried, but you are taking this way too personally.
The description of the shoes is comprised of TWO whole words......pre-owned, with no further explanation and three not so great photos. The onus was on *you* to ask about the specific condition or any concerns you had, so again, I don't get the bitter thing.
Honestly, I think you thought you got a steal, only to find out the shoes are more pre-owned than you expected and now it doesn't fee like such a steal.
 

limom

O.G.
Mar 24, 2009
11,991
8,343
OP, you keep saying you feel bitter about the transaction, but I don't understand why when seller has offered you a refund. So her communication skills aren't the greatest in that she sounds harried, but you are taking this way too personally.
The description of the shoes is comprised of TWO whole words......pre-owned, with no further explanation and three not so great photos. The onus was on *you* to ask about the specific condition or any concerns you had, so again, I don't get the bitter thing.
Honestly, I think you thought you got a steal, only to find out the shoes are more pre-owned than you expected and now it doesn't fee like such a steal.
Possibly, but the name calling is uncalled for :sad:
Who would appreciate being called difficult and being dismissed like a capricious child?
 
Apr 15, 2007
63,377
7,194
You want the shoes... you just don't like the way the seller handled you and

certainly don't like that she misrepresented the condition.... personally, just

would leave the neutral and move on....since you have already e-mailed

her your comments with condition, there is not much left for you to do now..

you wnat the shoes, they fit & you cleaned them up so they look good..

now is the time to wear them & enjoy them...
 

noshoepolish

Labrador Lover
Authenticator
O.G.
Oct 4, 2006
9,817
116
Looking at the Original Post, I think the seller did go through alot of hoops for the buyer. She changed her listing price, had to adjust & refund the shipping, etc. The seller is entitled to her opinion.


The seller in the communication called the Op difficult.
 

limom

O.G.
Mar 24, 2009
11,991
8,343
Looking at the Original Post, I think the seller did go through alot of hoops for the buyer. She changed her listing price, had to adjust & refund the shipping, etc. The seller is entitled to her opinion.
Absolutely, then she will take the neg like the opinionated and unfair person that she is!:lol: