Positive Rejection

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  1. Are there any Advantages or Disadvantages for little girls in Beauty Pageants ?

    What would your explanation be, to a child that did not win ?

    Do Children need to learn about rejection ? (They didn't get the modeling job. )

    What do you think motivates a parent to enter their child in a Beauty Pageant, or sign them up at a Modeling Agency.

    Ladies, I would really appreciate your views and experiences.
  2. I know this is awful for me to say since there are so many people for these pageants, but I absolutely find them reprehensible. As far as advantages, I think it teaches your children how far cuteness and precociousness will get you. It does teach you about rejection. I don't know if I would consider these to be necessarily good lessons. The world is hard enough and I believe any child will learn this in their own time. I'm not sure I want to "shove" it down their throats (not saying all parents do this). What ever happened to just enjoying your childhood?

    My parents used to dress me up all the time when I was a little girl (er... namely my mother)... She still can't get over the fact that I do not wear the same size jeans as when I was 12 and wants me to diet until I get there. Every time I talk to her, I still get the "Oh, you look a little more like my daughter" (if I have lost some weight since the last visit). Clearly, I have issues about this. I think if I ever have a daughter, I would support her in any way. She could be in pageants if that's what she wants to do, but not because I push her into it.
  3. I am really against the idea of putting little girls into beauty pagents!! I say this as the mother of a 5-year-old girl. My daughter participates in ballet/tap and soccer. I think being involved in sports is great for building self esteem, good health, and confidence when approaching sports activities at school. I think ballet and tap are wonderful because everyone wins :biggrin: and everyone gets to dress up like little princesses for recitals and stuff.

    I think beauty pagents send the wrong message - that physical appearance is more important than anything. I think they are already getting that message at school a lot from other kids, that the outside is somehow more important than the inside. :shame: I just don't see it as a good builder of self esteem or confidence, but that is just my humble opinion! ;)
    scarlett_2005 likes this.
  4. i know there are a lot of people against beauty pagents for little kids, and i'm kind of one of them. i think if done for the wrong reasons (usually the mother's) it can send the wrong messages about beauty and the roles girls should play.

    that said, i have a little cousin who did pagents from the time she was 4 or 5 until she was about 10. it was her idea, she asked about it, she picked which pagents she wanted to compete in, she picked all her dresses/outfits, decided how she wanted her hair and makeup done by cutting out pictures from her mom's magazines she found, choreographed every talent by herself, and stopped doing them when she wanted to. she controlled everything about it. she won quite a few and was very proud of all the work she'd done. it was always the first thing she showed people when they visited the house but always in the context of "i won this for this dance" or "i picked out this outfit." never "i was the most beautiful best one." :smile:

    i think it was a really empowering experience for her until she could get involved in other activities. her much older brothers were all on state champion level sports teams and she felt left out. this gave her something to be proud about too. my aunt told me horror stories how moms acted backstage, but my aunt was never like that. it was always about what my cousin wanted. i think when done that way, it can build lots of self esteem but i don't know that i would let my daughter unless she put as much effort into convincing me as my cousin did in convincing my aunt. :smile:
    coco-nut likes this.
  5. I would never enter my daughter in a beauty pageant. For one, too many weirdos hang out and lurk at them. I'd much rather see my daughter be involved in sports and learn healthy competition and gain confidence that way, rather than by her appearance.

    It seems to me that a lot of mothers enter their daughters in these pageants to live vicariously through them.
  6. I don't like children's beauty pagents. I've seen some documentaries on tv about them, and the little girls look like mini-adults. One little girl was losing a baby tooth, and the mom was frantic over it, saying it would ruin her smile. I think these children are missing out on a fundamental part of being a child. It broke my heart, and made me want to cry. I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on my little "princess", who to me is more beautiful with her grubby hands and blue jeans (after playing in our garden) than any child pagent contestant in a gown and tiara. :o)
  7. I don't think they're good, unless the kid really wants it. Besides, unless your child looks a certain way, the odds are you'll loose. I saw something once with a mother of a little girl with brown and she said, "I'm not surprised me lost. It's always the little blonde girls up there." Up on the winner's stage she meant.
  8. I feel as if I should be completely against children's pageants, but I suspect there's a handful of kids who do find them empowering and a way of setting goals for themselves. I remember being a kid and really wanting a sense of mastery over something. I was a decent athlete, but by no means the best. I played piano and flute, but not well enough to be featured in a concert. I was great at math, but sadly, there were no math competitions for me to enter back then. Different kids excel at different things.

    I particularly appreciate ilzabet's comments. I think pageants are OK when they help a self-motivated girl develop discipline or explore creative outlets. Of course, the youngest girls (under 8, I'd guess) probably aren't yet that self-aware, and pageants for them are probably not beneficial. But for older girls, I can accept them as a relatively healthy outlet for focused energy.

    As for pushy mothers, they're horrific. And completely paralell to some of the dads who incessantly push their sons in Little League or Pop Warner football.
  9. I don't think I would put mine in beauty pagents but she does sing and has been in competitions. I think some of this is healthy, however, each child is different and its hard to know where to draw the line.
  10. Personally, I feel child beauty pageants send the wrong message to little girls: that their looks are the most important thing about them. I think that it's a good thing for kids to be in situations where they learn to compete, and how to win and lose gracefully, but I'd rather see that be in areas based on skills that they can learn and improve on (sports, chess, etc.) rather than on something they are born with. I have never known anyone who has a child involved in these pageants, but from what I've seen on TV, it seems like the parents are way too invested emotionally and take it far too personally when their kids do or don't win.
  11. Well said, that was happening at singing and dance competitions too. You would think these parents thought their kids were the next president!
  12. I don't like the idea unless that is what you want your children to do. I had a younger cousin, her parent entered her to those beauty pageant and she take many beauty classes, but I think it make her become too conscience about her look even when she was such young age. As far as I know...she doesn't do so well in school work because she just become mature so fast and she used to think she can be superstar or something then just start playing. Maybe not every kids are like that but there are just some negative things to consider.
  13. I am against child pageants for all of the same reasons already posted in this thread. I would also like to just add that the pageants can potentially have serious repercussions for the child's self-esteem about their physical appearance. Even if the parents try to tell their child that he/she was beautiful and he/she lost because the judge was just interested in someone else, one should never underestimate what a child may know/understand - the child may know that the judge "rejected" him/her because he/she didn't look a certain way. And this could be damaging for their self-esteem while they're growing up and that, of course, would be very sad.
    One day, the little 10 year old girl may ask her mom how to go on a diet or ask if it's alright to get cosmetic surgery now. It is not a far-fetched potential scenario.
  14. No.

    The girls who compete in these pagents are FAR too young.

    Pagents for older girls can be fun, empowering, etc.

    But honestly, what are you teaching your little girl? ugh. I'll try to keep any future daughters of mine from the superficialty of the world, and the insane expectations placed on women, untill she's old enough to handle it.

  15. Personally I am against them also. I think really young girls in them are not fully aware of what they truly do like and don't like. I may have a skewed view because of the bad media pagents get, but I still just think they are wrong.