Plz, say something nice to cheer me up....

#16
I hear ya. I just graduated with my BA (I've been working on it for years while I worked in the corporate world) and I'm the first from both sides of my family to do so. My parents are proud of me and so many co-workers, family and friends gave me SO much encouragement when I first started out. The ironic part is that now that I finished, where is all of the love? I only got a handful of cards (like count them on fingers). I don't care much about gifts or that kind of stuff, but just the lack of acknowledgement made me feel less than happy. Also, some of my coworkers have been a bit less than friendly to me now (one I am close to, who did not go to college, was treating me rudely and made it clear she didn't believe in me on something despite my achievement and despite that she was one of main people cheering me on in the beginning). Maybe some of your family members are jealous that they never got to experience college or that they just went with what was expected, not going beyond that.

While it hurts, I have matured enough over the years to realize that I don't NEED anyone else's approval or support to know what I did was special and know how much work I put into it. I changed so much as a person, and honestly, no matter what you major in, going to college opens your mind up to an entire new way of thinking. Be proud of yourself and do not let anyone take away from the joy you should get from this.

It won't be easy, they very likely will be times you will hate some of the feelings you go through, but know that at the end of the chase is the ultimiate feeling of personal accomplishment that no one can EVER take away from you no matter how hard they may try. Good luck and keep your head up!
 
#17
You do what is right for you! Heck you already are, that's awesome!!! Good luck and don't let them get you down. I've been there sort of, I started school and my husband didn't want me going until after the children got older and my family sided with him. I felt awful and unsupported. So here I sit without a degree :sad: I know I will someday.
 
#18
I'm so sorry your DH's family isn't being more supportive.

i think what you said in your first post is exactly what you use to counter their negative comments.

the problem with ILs is that u have to continue to see them!! ARGH. it's not like disapproving friends that you can take a break from or try to see them less.

the next time they go on and on about it. maybe you tell you what you wrote. you have different goals and this is what is important to you. They have voiced their opinion ENOUGH TIMES and you have heard them out. HOWEVER, this is still what is important to you. and this is not a discussion, you have decided this is what you want to do. Lets move on to something else..... adjust it so it isn't so straightforward i guess.but you need to make sure DH is on your side if you decide to say something like this. otherwise, you'll have to deal with a DH who accuses you of being rude. and i sure hope your DH understands how much unnecessary grief his family is causing you!!! maybe you can just minimize seeing them until they learn how to stop going on about this =P

i get irritated when people try to control other people's lives and they think that teh world is still like "when they were growing up". and you know, you're going back to school. how bad is that?? it's not like you're going to be a drug dealer!! would they rather you be a drug dealer and have lots of time with ur son and contribute lots of $$ to the family???

i think school is great and you are right to follow your heart and dreams. learning is something that can't be equated to $$. Alot of us take on ridiculous student$$ to learn and hopefully with the idea that we can also pursue jobs we like in the future. I miss school so much, i miss the learning environment and i really am a big fan of staying in school and going to school for as long as is feasible and sensible.

so hang in there, enjoy school and come vent when your ILs give u a hard time. honestly, i think they should just shut their traps =P
 
#19
Its really a shame how small minded some can be, and i'm sure because they are in-laws they are extra harsh when they disagree with you.
Don't allow them or anyone to ever deter you from your dreams, this is your life and you have to make the most of it. You dont want to look back one day and think of what could have been, because you allowed someone else's opinions sway you. I say go for it and I wish you the best, do not be discouraged :heart:
 
#20
Sometimes short term sacrifices are what is needed to accomplish long term goals. My mother went to school and got her education with no help or support from her family. She moved out when she was 18 and went to college and worked as a ward cleck and she recived nothing but criticism for what she did, and he sister and brothers would constantly haggle her for money even though she was supporting herself though school. She was the first in her family to get a college education and her father constantly told her as a women she should just get married and forget about college.

She however pursued her own dreams and got a masters by the age of 23 and supported my father while he started his business. She decided she wanted to be a college professor and got her PHD and now because of that my brother and I get FREE tuition to the college and I have been able to get my nursing degree for free. She outearns my father with a six figure income.

But best of all she makes a difference in the lives of others and has the job she always wanted and I was inspired by her to try and be a nurse.

In short, go after what you want, no matter what anyone says. No one has a right to critisize your goals and you only have one life to live so live it to the fullest!!!
 
#21
I am sure your son is super happy that you have more time to spend with him, at least when you are not in the middle of studying for exams. so that alone is a very good reason.

i think you are doing a good thing - and as long as your hubby and son support you, who cares? I am in the same boat - but I have taken a far more drastic decision by living away from my hubby. I can imagine what his family thinks about that, even though I doubt it is anything truly hurtful (the baby is with me). I am sure they love me etc but regardless somewhere deep inside I am sure they wonder why it has to be this way.

my hubby supports me, and soon hopefully we will be reunited. anyway, you won't change their mind but they could at least keep it to themselves, kwim? it isn't really their business to say anything. the funny thing is that in my case my husband's family may be sad about us being away but they are still supportive. my brother's inlaws on the other hand are really very judgemental of me (and it is not at all related to them). nowadays, I refuse to discuss this with anyone - when someone starts I just say I am sorry I don't discuss this with anyone anymore. that way I may be rude but at last I am happy, kwim?

you go for it, and enjoy your studies. I am at the end of a PhD right now, and it was great although very busy.
 
#22
how horrible of your in-laws to say education is "not important" and "not needed"....what kind of message is that to your son?! IMO, furthering your education is the best thing you can do for yourself. you are incredibly brave to realize that this is your dream at 30something!!! the best of luck to you...you are setting a GREAT example for your son on the importance of education and FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS!!!! :tender:
 
#23
Why do families feel entitled to give unasked for advice on everything?? You're an adult-you can make these decisions just fine. Your dh and son are the ones whose feelings matter and it sounds like you've considered those thoroughly. They are unenlightened, which is sad. But they shouldn't be laying their ignorance (sorry, but that's what it is) on you.

You're going to college for the right reasons, you've thought it out, they need to butt out. Can your dh ask them to stop with the criticism?

Best wishes!
 
#24
It takes a lot of moxie (learnt this word some time back, always wanted to use it :smile:) to do what you have done, so please try to ignore what your family members say. I'm sorry they are so unsupportive but maybe this should spur you on even harder to succeed! Good luck!
 
#25
boxermom said:
Why do families feel entitled to give unasked for advice on everything?? You're an adult-you can make these decisions just fine. Your dh and son are the ones whose feelings matter and it sounds like you've considered those thoroughly. They are unenlightened, which is sad. But they shouldn't be laying their ignorance (sorry, but that's what it is) on you.

You're going to college for the right reasons, you've thought it out, they need to butt out. Can your dh ask them to stop with the criticism?

Best wishes!
Click to expand...

My DH has said to them..."We have decided and I would appreciate you guys not bothering her about why and how....she has helped me with the buisness and its her time with our son and to try and get a real career..."

But that still doesnt discourage them...they always slip a comment here and there...or even worse...start up a whole topic about how most of the graduates dont end up in their field of study....its useless...

Bottom line, I believe that they want me working, just like them and not being able to do otherwise...they seem so evil......:cursing:
 
#26
SonyaPhi said:
You do what is right for you! Heck you already are, that's awesome!!! Good luck and don't let them get you down. I've been there sort of, I started school and my husband didn't want me going until after the children got older and my family sided with him. I felt awful and unsupported. So here I sit without a degree :sad: I know I will someday.
Click to expand...

My hubby felt the same way, thats why I waited so long...Ive been trying to go back to school for the last 10 years...but...I couldnt push the issue, b/c there is that family factor....so...

When my boy hit his teens....I started to really talk to him over and over about the future....that this is what is needed not only for me but for the whole family...plus the time I wanted to spend with my boy....he finally agreed.

Dont give up.....keep planning and preparing....:yes::heart:
 
#27
luckycharm06 said:
how horrible of your in-laws to say education is "not important" and "not needed"....what kind of message is that to your son?! IMO, furthering your education is the best thing you can do for yourself. you are incredibly brave to realize that this is your dream at 30something!!! the best of luck to you...you are setting a GREAT example for your son on the importance of education and FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS!!!! :tender:
Click to expand...

Thank you so much!!!!!!
I feel the same....how can they say things like unimportant and not needed...???? This is what makes me mad.....they know darn well, it is a very important accomplishment....maybe they do feel jelous....but they live so well.....why would they want to compare themselves to me....they should feel bad for me actually....their so twisted!!!!!!!:hysteric:
 
#29
Yesterday, I saw online this plaque (not that I'm asking you to buy it, although I realise that I do go on and on about Etsy)

stufffromthebunker

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5954588


stufffromthebunkerchronicpainmosaic.jpg


It's specially for those who may be suffering from illness but I feel that the saying also inspires people who may not be physically ill but might need encouragement or inspiration in their lives.
 
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