please help. am i being scammed?

Should I tell the seller that I am escalating this to a dispute? Or just do it? What happens during a dispute? I've never had to escalate a claim before..
No, you don't need to tell them, the Ebay system will send them a message and tell them what they need to do. Include information in your claim about having contacted the seller multiple times and them not shipping. Ebay may give the seller time to respond and they will let you know that and also tell you when you can expect a refund. Enough time has passed for you to do that, and Ebay will sort it out for you. After you open a claim and escalate, I would just ignore all communication from the seller, because they may get nasty or personal or try to make you feel bad, so just ignore and let Ebay deal with them.
 
So I filed my case today, and the seller responded to the claim with this message:

"i have been told my manager that the guy that works in the shipping department messed up on the shipping, and there have been orders on back hold, i am very sorry for all of the trouble."

What should I do? Be more patient with the seller? Escalate to a dispute? Or request my money back? I really want these sunglasses... but I am kinda worried about them now. My paranoia is leading me to believe that these are like, being bought oversees and she hasn't recieved them yet... or something. :/

Go with your gut. Get your money back!
 
So I sent her a warning stating I want a refund, or I am escalating and the seller says:

"ok let me get all the information from my manager"

this is going nowhere. I'm escalating now.
What would she have to do for me to lose the case? I just don't want to escalate and lose all hope of getting my money back. :sad: then I am out money AND the item I bought.
:sad:
 
I honestly doubt she can do anything to make you lose the case at this point. Report her as a non-performing seller, maybe call Ebay about the escalation and they may give you your refund while you're on the phone with them (they did it once for me).
Ebay has a time limit on when sellers have to ship by for a reason, so let them deal with her/her manager/ her cat/ whoever supposedly isn't shipping your item!
 
So I sent her a warning stating I want a refund, or I am escalating and the seller says:

"ok let me get all the information from my manager"

this is going nowhere. I'm escalating now.
What would she have to do for me to lose the case? I just don't want to escalate and lose all hope of getting my money back. :sad: then I am out money AND the item I bought.
:sad:

Just escalate already! You are taking too long while this seller is being sneaky, why are you thinking so much about it? Call eBay if you are unsure and they will tell you exactly what to do... You're not going to lose your money, eBay usually sides with the buyer these days.
 
So I sent her a warning stating I want a refund, or I am escalating and the seller says:

"ok let me get all the information from my manager"

this is going nowhere. I'm escalating now.
What would she have to do for me to lose the case? I just don't want to escalate and lose all hope of getting my money back. :sad: then I am out money AND the item I bought.
:sad:

There's nothing she can do. They'll ask her to provide a tracking number showing delivery. She can't, so you win and she gets her account dinged. Be sure to leave appropriate feedback and stars.