Workplace People who like having fake friends?

pongpongchik

Member
Aug 12, 2009
329
0
Hi guys,

I have a friend who seems to like hanging out with fake friends and I can't make any sense of that. My mentality towards friendship is that I'd only make friends or keep close to people who treat me with respect, are genuine, and are ones I can trust. I've learned my lessen with fake friends and just don't need or want any of that unnecessary drama in my life.

My friend, on the other hand, keeps going back to those people. Even though she already knows they spread nasty rumors and talk crap about her behind her back, she still wants to contact them to re-establish a connection or "fake" friendship. I'm just curious if anyone has friends with this type of behavior.

The only thing I can think of to describe my friend's behavior is she's the type of person who doesn't like being alone. She needs to be out and about with people all the time. Opinions/thoughts?
 

Millicat

Member
Apr 19, 2012
5,620
84
Oh dear, how very very sad.
She needs to spend some time alone and with you so she can really feel what true friends feel like, and to enjoy her own company.
Unfortunately, until a person's happy with their own company they'll attach themselves to various unsuitable people to avoid being 'alone'.
 

net2326

Member
Nov 4, 2009
14
1
That is sad. I agree that you should only surround yourself with people you feel have genuine respect for you, support you and your decisions, and don't constantly take more than they give. Life is too short. Unfortunately, maybe your friend doesn't believe that she deserves better. It's difficult making the decision to end a friendship.
 

ms-whitney

shopaholic
Sep 6, 2006
5,917
6
I guess I'm the odd one...

I know that not everyone will like me, and not everyone will understand me... And some may be even skeptical of me...

But regardless, if I work with them (because this is under career/work) I will be friendly and say hi. If we are in the same area, I'll attempt small talk even if they've said something behind my back. It's more about not having awkward pauses. I mean, if there's someone whose a friendly face there, I would gravitate towards them to start a convo more then someone who doesn't like me.

There is a trainer for example, let's say her name is Nikita. I actually coined a phrase of being "nikita'd" as to best describe her behavior towards me. She wouldn't say anything mean to my face and i haven't caught any wind behind my back (I think she's too smart for that) but she gets a face everytime she talks to me versus other folks. And I've asked her for a do over, which she's denied, but two seconds earlier granted to another coworker. So you know somethings up (esp since it's the exact same scenario).

Luckily I haven't met too many folks that have nikita'd me, but I'm sure it's bound to happen.

But you don't know if it's just a "I don't like you thing" (I'm sure we all have met folks we just don't jive with and can't explain), and later on you'll be bonding over something silly while knocking back drinks.

It sounds like your friend doesn't want to burn any bridges and maybe stepping up to the plate and being the bigger person?

Kind of reminds me of Jessica Simpson and the debate of her really being a blonde moment or a smart business woman pretending to have a blonde moment...
 

transistor20

Member
May 3, 2016
17
1
I think there's some people who really do enjoy talking about their friends behind their back to gossip and there's some people like your friend who don't respect themselves enough to realize that they deserve to have good relationships. Or maybe she really just does see that kind of behavior is normal :shrugs:
 
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