Opinions needed please...

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  1. Ok-I'm not sure if I should be posting this question here, so mods feel free to move this. OK-I'm a SAHM who works from home. I left my corporate job after my son was born and has been home w/him ever since (he's 2 1/2). So I was able to find a job about 14 months ago working from home, which I've been doing ever since. The company is NOT doing well w/the economy the way it is, and I'm not sure if it's going to make it. (for reference-DH's job is enough to support us, but we did have to cut back a bit when I wasn't working)

    so-fast forward to today: I just got an amazing job offer (basically the job I left when I had my son) BUT its going to be long hours/weekends etc. The company is doing well, offered an amazing package and there's room to grow professionally....

    so my question is: should I continue to stay at home w/my son? There is a part of my that feels guilty taking the job, but the other part is ready to go back to work. I really appreciate opinions on this one-I have to give them an answer by tomorrow and everyone in my family is making me feel like a bad mom for even asking/considering this job!

    TIA:smile:
     
  2. In this economic climate I would jump at the oportunity. Your little guy will do great in daycare (and he's only a year from being old enough for most pre-K programs) and this gives you the chance to advance your career when it is notoriously difficult for women to do so once they have taken a break from the work force.

    My DH & I used to have our own business, and we sold our clientelle to another business when we had to move to a new state a couple of yrs ago. I've beed the sole bread-earner since then and it's tough. The longer my DH is out of the workforce loop, the harder it is on him. We're looking for a business to buy (we don't want to start from scratch again -- easy in a small town but way too difficult in a large city), but in this economic environment - getting a SBA loan might be challenging.
     
  3. What would it mean for your wee boy, how often would he see you? What would he want?
     
  4. This is a tough one! I guess it really just depends on what you feel in your heart.

    When you say that everyone in your family is giving you a hard time, who do you mean? Your husband? The reason I ask is because I think that this is a decision that you and he should make together. What anyone outside of the two of you thinks is irrelevant, so try to not let that noise sway your decision either way.

    My personal opinion on it is that mothers who can afford to stay home with their children, should, because they are only that little once, there is always time for career once they get in school. My biggest concern would be that you mention that the job will entail long hours and weekends. If it were just a nine-to-fiver, no weekends, that would be no biggie. If it were me, I wouldn't commit to that kind of scenario until my kids were older, but that's just me.
     
  5. I agree for MIRDC, go for the job. Your son will do great in daycare and benefit emotionally with being around other kids. It sounds like you are ready to go back to work too. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, you have to do what is best for you and your family.

    Good luck and let us know what you decide.
     
  6. My mom stayed home with me for a couple years and then went back to work, and has been the primary breadwinner ever since. My dad has his own business, but it's really up and down, so my mom's job offers more stability and all of the benefits.

    From my perspective, I completely respect that my mom found it important to work, and it made me want to be a strong, independent woman myself. Of course I would have loved to see her right when I got home from school or whatever, but she had just as much love for me when she got home from work. Looking back, it means more to me that my mom was fulfilled in her career, and she was able to balance everything and be a great mother at the same time.

    If you can do that, I say go back to work!:smile:
     
  7. And another question- does your DH have decent work hours? I think it's important that at least one of you is able to be home at a reasonable hour and there on weekends, but I don't think it always has to be the mom. My dad was around more than my mom when I was a kid, and I have a fantastic relationship with both of them. If both you and your DH will be working crazy hours and your son will be raised by a nanny, then maybe you should think about that some more before you decide.
     
  8. This is such a personal decision. Only you and your DH can truly figure out what's best for your family. All I can say is, if you were eventually planning to return to work, opportunities like this may not crop up all the time.

    Same experience here. :smile:
     
  9. I agree that it totally depends on your husband's schedule. I feel it is pretty important for ONE of you to be around regular hours for your son, and if you will be working long hours and weekends then someone else will have to fill the gap.

    This really depends on you and your husband and family. If you are very unhappy at home, then it is important for everyone for you to go back to work. But if the hours will make it so your son will rarely see you, that probably isn't good for anyone, either. Unfortunately, this sounds like an all or nothing proposition, which is never ideal.
     

  10. good point-he would want his mom:smile:
     
  11. I agree with this.
     

  12. DH is a pilot so he's gone for 4 days and off for 3 days. Our tentative plan (if I do take it) is that he would be home: Tues/Wed/Thurs., DS already spends friday's at grandma's and then that leaves Sat. nites...which we have family & the occasional sitter. So he wouldn't have to be in daycare-just maybe the occasional sitter if DH gets stuck somewhere.


    Thank you everyone for your input. It was a tough decision when I left my career, but I knew I needed to do it. Now that he's a bit older and its a great opportunity-I just don't know- one way or the other. My head is telling me "YES you dope, take it, its an amzing offer" but my heart is saying-"you have a little boy and he needs you"....
     

  13. that's how I feel-especially w/this economy....but again-I do have a job now....ugh this decision is killing me....

    Thank you soo much everyone for your help on this!!!
     
  14. Well it sounds like a win-win situation if you ask me!
     
  15. #15 Feb 18, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2010
    im sure it's a tough decision to make...but i think he will be fine when the change is made and a new routine is set into motion [if you do take it]

    good luck in deciding and please keep us posted! :smile: