Opening/using wedding gifts before you're married?

  1. I received a thank you note for a wedding gift (wine glasses) from a friend...two weeks before her wedding! She and her FH have been living together for some time now and have all the basics they need, but of course registered for some beautiful silver, china and crystal.

    I was surprised they opened their gifts early and already started using them? :graucho:. Is this typical? I'm certainly not upset or anything but was curious as I have not yet taken the plunge myself :p.

    Any thoughts?
  2. hmmm, I have never heard of that....I suppose I wouldn't really object per you pointed out, does it really matter? I guess it just seems a bit odd.

    At least you got a timely thank you card...which is one of my pet peeves. Thank you cards arriving months and months after the wedding or baby...or worse never at all.
  3. Unless it would be bad luck according to your cultural tradition, or that of the person who gave the gift, aside from just plain old custom, I am finding a hard time thinking of good reasons why people shouldn't use them.

    Maybe it should be done on a need-to-use basis. For instance, if this particular bride suddenly found that twelve people were coming over to drink wine, and this had never happened before, and so she was faced with the choice of using her wedding gift early or serving her guests Clos de Vougeot in plastic mouthwash cups...
  4. I am getting married in November, and we've already received some gifts. Everything I've read said that we should send out the thank-you cards asap after receiving the gifts, and not necessarily waiting until after the wedding. So maybe they did that and haven't used the gift you sent yet?

    Having said all that....FH and I received a kick-butt quesadilla maker and wasted no time getting that thing open and using it. ;)
  5. Thank-you Cards
    An important gesture to show your appreciation, send a thank-you card as soon after you receive a wedding gift as possible. If you receive a gift before the wedding, it's okay to open it and send the thank-you card ahead of the event. Some people choose to wait until after the wedding to open gifts, but it's still thoughtful to call or write to the gift-giver to at least acknowledge that the parcel arrived safely. Then, follow up with a proper thank-you after the wedding when you've opened it.

  6. I sent thank you notes as soon as I received gifts prior to the wedding and opened them. I did this because I knew it would be overwhelming to send all the thank you notes after the wedding. I was SO happy that I did my thank you notes that way. I figured people would be happier to receive thank you notes sooner rather than later.
  7. hmm, interesting. the other day my fiance and I recieved our first wedding gift (cutlery)...our wedding is in 5 weeks (eek!). anyway, we haven't started using it yet, but we likely will soon (fiance & i have been living together for a couple years now). It never occurred to me that it would be odd to use wedding gifts before the actual wedding, especially when the couple is already living together. I agree with others that the main thing that matters is if they send the gift-giver a prompt thank-you note. We are sending ours as soon as we recieve the gifts, even it's before the wedding, because a) it seems more polite, and b) it's MUCH easier for us that way (just as lorimatthews said). :smile: Yeah, and i always hated it when people "forgot" to write thank you notes, so i don't want to risk being guilty of the same crime. :smile:
  8. I don't think its odd at all. I always send my gifts in advance and only one time have I gotten the thank you right away like I thought I would. And who wants to wait to open all their presents anyway? A friend of mine just got married in July..and even with all the stuff she opened in advance it took them a full day of opening presents....I can't imagine how long it took them to put stuff away! Better to get stuff opened, cards written, and put away or start using it in my opinion!
  9. That's kinda cute, at least the card came early. I attended a wedding over a month ago, and have yet to receive a note acknowledging my gift. I haven't given up hope, I know new brides have a lot on their plates. They must've been such nice glasses the temptation to use them was just too strong. ;)
  10. My personal opinion only - but I think it goes against gift giving etiquette. A wedding gift should only be opened (and used) after the wedding has taken place.

    What if the wedding wasn't to take place (for whatever reasons) how can you return used gifts.
  11. Yes, I've heard of it and did it. In fact, for some reason I'm thinking this was a "Dear Abby" article not long ago.

    I opened gifts as they came in and then immediately sent out thank you's for them. This way, since most came through the mail, the sender would have confidence that their gift did indeed get to me and didn't have to wait another month to make sure.
  12. I opened all my wedding gifts as they came in, specifically so I could write thank you notes, for the same reason as mshel. I didn't use any of my gifts until after the wedding, just in case the unthinkable happened and the gifts had to go back. I wanted people who went to the trouble to look for something, wrap it, and ship it out to know that their gift had arrived and that I was grateful for their thoughtfulness.

    The Emily Post link above indicates that it isn't an etiquette violation to open and acknowledge wedding gifts sent before the wedding, FWIW.
  13. IMO, its great that they are able to use the gift as long as they remember to send a thank you note.
  14. As long as you have written the thank you and sent it to the giver, I think you are free to use it. I know my friend wrote all the thank yous but refuses to touch them til her wedding in 2 weeks but the shower gifts I got, etc, I wrote the notes immediately after the shower, sent them out within 3 days and was using some of them by the next weekend :smile:
  15. I almost always send the gift early and usually receive a thank-you shortly afterwards. It never occurred to me to wonder if they would be using it right away. It's a gift, it's theirs and it doesn;t bother me either way.

    Look at it this way, many people never get thank-you's for gifts, so you're ahead of the game.

    Here's a short story that's a twist on using the gift early. At my niece's reharsal dinner her sister-in-law's daughter (maybe 8 yrs old) was running around taking photos with a digital camera--right in everyone's faces to the point where one woman reined her in and told her to stop. turned out the camera was the in-law's wedding gift to my niece and her dh!!! Who lets their kid play with the wedding gift before you give it???:wtf: