One first Date- no call for two days- what gives?

Wentworth-Roth

Wentworth-Roth

Longtime Member
O.G.
Jul 3, 2006
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#1
Hi ladies&gents,

so on Monday night, I went on something very much like a date with an American exchange student. It was quite nice, we talked, joked around, laughed, discussed, shared. So as far as that is concerned it was a very nice date.

However, as far as intentions go it was odd; I certainly did not know if this was just a platonic date or a possibly-romantic date. So, in order to not embarrass myself, there was little flirting, little erotic body-language and certainly no good-bye kiss.

I did, however, say the evening was very pleasant and that I would like to repeat it. He agreed on both things.

The next morning I sent him a brief, noncommittal, but funny E-mail. I got no response, and to be honest ever since that date... crickets. It is odd, because before the date we wrote each other quite often.

I am not stupid, I guess it means he did not like the date (and as a consequence me) as much as I did. But can I ask him tomorrow, after three days have passed, what happened? Or do I have to remain quiet in order to keep my dignity?

All I can say is "stronzetto". To you I say "grazie" for reading and possibly answering.
 
#2
Maybe something came up in his life and thats kept him from answeing? Or maybe hes trying to evaluate his feelings too. It could be a lot of things. If its only been a couple of days I wouldn't worry about it too much :smile: He could always be under the impression that a lot of people are under that you shouldn't call for a certain amount of time to avoid seeming desperate.

Good luck tomorrow! And if it does turn out that he doesn't want to do it again just take it for what it is, one night of fun with a good friend :smile:
 
#3
If it were me, I'd wait and let him make the next move. Maybe he's busy...lots of possible 'maybes' here, but I'd wait just the same. Good luck in hearing from him soon!!
 
#4
Hmmm... remember the scene in "Sex and the City", when Miranda had the epiphany that a man's lack of response after a date means he is not into the date?

There are two women, and one complains that her date stopped calling her, and the other woman comforts her by saying he may be busy remodelling his kitchen. Miranda interrupts and says, this man stopped calling, because he is not that into her... and she should accept it and move on.

Maybe I should do the same... well after tomorrow that is...

Thanks to the two ladies that responded so far.
 
#7
I know but trust me you'll only feel worse if you keep pushing it and get no response.
Take it from someone who knows! :rolleyes:

There's someone better out there for you, I also know this from experience ;)
 
#8
Or maybe he has "rules" you know you hear about it I have no clue how many days it is?(I would ask dh what they are but if he had any he sure broke them he called shortly after our first date) I wouldn't email him keep your pride. I know it's hard but there are more fish in the sea as they say!
 
#9
It really depends on the actual guy. Some men will let the girl hang a bit to create interest. Some will wait for the girl to call or make a move to test if she is interested. Some will only call if they are interested -.-

Did you know him before you went on a date? And what kind of date was it? If it was the kind of date where you had a lot of chance to talk and did- like a dinner or walk, and he seemed happy, it is strange he doesn't call. But if it was something where you didn't have too much chance to talk, like a movie date, as sad as it sounds, it usually means the guy is just interested in sex :P Sometimes if the guy just wanted to get into bed, they will take you on a movie date, that way they dont have to talk to the girl and it's still a considered a date -.-
 
#10
^That's awful...

No it was a short evening walk, followed by a drink...

If he really follows silly rules like the two/three days rule, well, then he is a moron.

I'll wait and see...

Thanks you all, for your input!
 
#11
Wow, that's just odd! I agree that if it's a "rule," that's just dumb... game playing gets a big :tdown: in my book. But like someone else suggested, maybe there's something else going on with him you don't know about. I had a friend once almost break up with the guy that is now her DH after the second date because he hadn't called in several days... turns out he had sleep apnea and was at a sleep clinic getting tests! I'd give it a few more days and see :yes:
 
#12
just sit it out....he may be busy...wait for him to call or email.dont u do it.Men are alot slower in the common sense dating deptmt.....LOL......Give him a day or two.Im sure he will call u!GOOD LUCK!
 
#13
i've been in a similar situation recently, and i actually saw the guy a few times. he SEEMED really interested in me, he kept inviting me to do things with him at the end of the night when we'd see each other, and then i'd never hear from him without contacting him first. i kept doing it because his friends kept telling me that they didn't know why he was acting how he was and that as far as they could tell, he really liked me and wanted to continue to see me.

well, i never really got much of an excuse, and i don't think i ever will, but apparently there are separate issues at hand that have nothing to do with me, so i have decided to stop contacting him. we agreed to let it end, and i haven't completely written him off yet, but i've learned that you can't really do much about whether or not a guy is going to call - sometimes, it's really not about you at all, and you just have to let him be.
 
#14
I don't mean to be mean or rude but maybe he is not into you! Let it go and move on because you should not worry about what you did wrong. Be confident in yourself and move on because there is someone out there for everyone!!!!
 
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