Unfortunately true - women are judged by everyone.
Make yourself happy, that happiness shines through and that’s priceless - worth so much more than what others think.
Ha! Another book you’ve recommended - off to Amazon I go! Thanks!
On social stereotype: How to deal with people who believe that dressing well "is very superficial"?
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Make yourself happy, that happiness shines through and that’s priceless - worth so much more than what others think.
[QUOTE="mellecyn, post: 33216359, member: 3614"]I´m on the side of "dressing well is a form of respect/politeness", and also think that people expressing these judgments, not able to accept the diverse opinions and behaviors of others as valid as their own, are....insecure and trying to make themselves feel better or reassured THEY are in the right. Do not let this affect you.
I miss not being surrounded by more inspirational people when it comes to fashion! People here are so drab (and can´t put an outfit together) it depresses me. BUT I like to see people who are sophisticated and elegant and cool... but while still being nice and modest.[/QUOTE]
+1
Yes! It is a form/sign of respect for others and for yourself.
I miss not being surrounded by more inspirational people when it comes to fashion! People here are so drab (and can´t put an outfit together) it depresses me. BUT I like to see people who are sophisticated and elegant and cool... but while still being nice and modest.[/QUOTE]
+1
Yes! It is a form/sign of respect for others and for yourself.
I completely agree with you, and I’m always working on this!!
but this specifically is so hard and almost impossible for the average woman to achieve! We are bombarded by all kinds of marketing messages about the latest trend, dress codes for work or what society dictates, women or men. Plus a busy life...most women don’t have a clue on what to wear and even less so knowing them selves well enough and develop their own style that will fit in that complicated landscape.
Personal anecdote : I was living with a roommate (yes in my grown up age, it’s part of my non-living by regular standards of society) we are 2 single professional women, and her style is as if she was always going hiking or climbing or cycling. We live in a city so my style is very urban eventhough the weather can be challenging. While she wears all the outdoors stuff she would still be complimenting me and going “waooowww” everytime I d go out. And I’d be looking at her stuff when preparing for my travel adventures. Meaning maybe others can also be appreciative of differences, maybe they d like to have your stuff who knows...
Can one make a business out of this?
Personal shoppers are also out of reach for a lot. And....why oh why do we insist on mumsy styles for women past the age of 30!?
And after analyzing what makes great style I came to the conclusion that what you see first is overall silhouette. So work with that
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I agree it is not easy. First, one has to spend some time figuring out one's own personal style. The internet has made it easier to do this now, as there are various blog posts and YouTube videos/tutorials developed just for this purpose.I completely agree with you, and I’m always working on this!!
but this specifically is so hard and almost impossible for the average woman to achieve! We are bombarded by all kinds of marketing messages about the latest trend, dress codes for work or what society dictates, women or men. Plus a busy life...most women don’t have a clue on what to wear and even less so knowing them selves well enough and develop their own style that will fit in that complicated landscape.
Personal anecdote : I was living with a roommate (yes in my grown up age, it’s part of my non-living by regular standards of society) we are 2 single professional women, and her style is as if she was always going hiking or climbing or cycling. We live in a city so my style is very urban eventhough the weather can be challenging. While she wears all the outdoors stuff she would still be complimenting me and going “waooowww” everytime I d go out. And I’d be looking at her stuff when preparing for my travel adventures. Meaning maybe others can also be appreciative of differences, maybe they d like to have your stuff who knows...
Can one make a business out of this?
Personal shoppers are also out of reach for a lot. And....why oh why do we insist on mumsy styles for women past the age of 30!?
And after analyzing what makes great style I came to the conclusion that what you see first is overall silhouette. So work with that
But then, as you say, there are all these marketing messages, changing trends, dress codes for work and play, and so on.
To manage all of this, I have found it helpful over the last few years to build a basic wardrobe of classic staples that I can always rely on if I don't want to think too much about what to wear on any given day. I choose items that do not go out of style very quickly so they serve as a foundation or building block when planning a wardrobe. Of course, once this is in place, we might need some variety and fun in our clothing choices as well, and for me, this is where the trends come in. I think trends refresh and perk up my basic wardrobe. I will usually look at what is trending each season and maybe pick up one or two things that I like, to add to my clothing choices. Sometimes, I get nothing, if nothing appeals to me that season.
With regard to the constant bombardment of marketing messages, sometimes, I just tune them out (I know, easier said than done). But if I feel I have enough good clothing choices at the moment, I will just try my best to ignore those marketing messages.
Yes! I’m totally with you! I’m still trying to build up my wardrobe of classic staples. Then I get seduced by the latest fun trends. For me, like In many areas, I need to resist the temptations...it seems you have a better self control over this. Anyways, I love discussing this subject to no end...but sorry for being a bit OTT !I agree it is not easy. First, one has to spend some time figuring out one's own personal style. The internet has made it easier to do this now, as there are various blog posts and YouTube videos/tutorials developed just for this purpose.
But then, as you say, there are all these marketing messages, changing trends, dress codes for work and play, and so on.
To manage all of this, I have found it helpful over the last few years to build a basic wardrobe of classic staples that I can always rely on if I don't want to think too much about what to wear on any given day. I choose items that do not go out of style very quickly so they serve as a foundation or building block when planning a wardrobe. Of course, once this is in place, we might need some variety and fun in our clothing choices as well, and for me, this is where the trends come in. I think trends refresh and perk up my basic wardrobe. I will usually look at what is trending each season and maybe pick up one or two things that I like, to add to my clothing choices. Sometimes, I get nothing, if nothing appeals to me that season.
With regard to the constant bombardment of marketing messages, sometimes, I just tune them out (I know, easier said than done). But if I feel I have enough good clothing choices at the moment, I will just try my best to ignore those marketing messages.
I wear what want, I think what I want, and I do what I want, and I take responsibility for my independent actions. I get a kick out of the naysayers it only motivates me to work toward further success. Head held up high and moving forward and leaving all the stuck people behind.
Oh, I don’t have it all figured out either. My closet is still a work in progress but at least my wardrobe is better than it was a year or so ago.
Anyway agree with you that we are getting off topic here and maybe this is a subject for a different thread.
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I love seeing well dressed people and nice bags. It’s so nice when you go to a restaurant or an event and people have made an effort, don’t you think?
Honestly, it sounds like you're making them feel insecure, and this is their way of acting out.
Maybe try asking them why it bothers them so much and what business it is of theirs since you're not spending their money. It could be interesting to see how they react and whether or not they're even able to respond.
My favorite response to judgement statements about the cost of luxury is “I really don’t make enough money to throw it away buying cheap items.”
If they hold still long enough, I’ll get into a long debate about the environmental and social impact of fast fashion and the ethics of textile recycling and garment life cycles.
If they hold still long enough, I’ll get into a long debate about the environmental and social impact of fast fashion and the ethics of textile recycling and garment life cycles.
in a nutshell Yes! Especially in this forum I think there is often too much emphasis on expensive brands and the ‘perfect’ item, but none of these things really matter. The silhouette is everythingAnd after analyzing what makes great style I came to the conclusion that what you see first is overall silhouette. So work with that
At least here in the US there has been a sort of backlash against femininity for years. So many women dress in a more masculine or androgynous style. If that suits someone, fine, but no need to bash the women who still like to dress up and look pretty.
It's as if spending time to look nice, take care of yourself and actually care about what you wear and how you look is looked down on, like you should have better, more important things to do. There 's a kind of "I'm too busy and important to care about anything so superficial as my looks" attitude sometimes.
Pretty and feminine is not something bad.
It's as if spending time to look nice, take care of yourself and actually care about what you wear and how you look is looked down on, like you should have better, more important things to do. There 's a kind of "I'm too busy and important to care about anything so superficial as my looks" attitude sometimes.
Pretty and feminine is not something bad.
At least here in the US there has been a sort of backlash against femininity for years. So many women dress in a more masculine or androgynous style. If that suits someone, fine, but no need to bash the women who still like to dress up and look pretty.
It's as if spending time to look nice, take care of yourself and actually care about what you wear and how you look is looked down on, like you should have better, more important things to do. There 's a kind of "I'm too busy and important to care about anything so superficial as my looks" attitude sometimes.
Pretty and feminine is not something bad.
I agree completely. And as a few other posters mentioned, dressing well is a form of respect and politeness for all those who have to cast their eyes your way, voluntarily or involuntarily. There’s a way to be casual and comfortable and feminine without being sloppy and unkempt...but many women have been led to feel in the quest for equality, they need to give up that special something that makes us ladylike. Dressing thoughtfully can open closed doors and bring respect and favor your way.
Looking back in previous decades, women’s fashions were constraining and uncomfortable in some ways, hence the rise of loosened waists, men’s wear inspired looks and flats. I personally love the suiting worn by Katherine Hepburn and Great Garbo (I believe) and no one would ever say those women and their generation walked out of the house looking any kind of way.
So why is it that today our society trumpets that we don’t or shouldn’t care about our appearance? I honestly don’t know but we’re fooling ourselves. A fine appearance draws the attention first, and then your conversation and intellect should maintain it.
My parents (products of those glorious decades of dressing well, circa 20’s - 60’s) never left the house in any way less than “put together” and my sister and I were drilled with “always look your best, for you never know who you might meet”.
Frankly, in my experience, some people are intimidated by your outward care of yourself. They wonder, “Who do they think they are?”, and others are impressed by it and perhaps motivated to keep themselves up.
Excuse my lengthy post, but I’m continually outdone by people who want you to sink to their level and look like you rolled out of bed. I make no apologies for “always looking my best”, (appropriate for the occasion of course), and as my mother would say, “Give the people a show, they need it”.
One time when I was waiting at the elevator, a superior saw me and commented, “Going to a party?” I was wearing a nice dress that in my opinion doubles as a work dress and a cocktail dress. I responded cheerfully, “Life is a party!” She was a little surprised but then smiled and agreed.
I am too old to care if people judge. It’s more a reflection of them than me.
I am too old to care if people judge. It’s more a reflection of them than me.