"Oh, you're STILL breastfeeding?"

sea0fyears

I’m just here for a good time.
O.G.
Nov 12, 2006
1,624
4
Arizona
It finally happened... we had DD's first birthday party today and I got the question I've been dreading. One of the women there (not a very close acquaintance) commented on the fact that I'm "still" breastfeeding.

I guess you can never win. Either you are labeled a selfish mother for not breastfeeding or you're berated for breastfeeding too long.

I mean, I would love to have more than 4 hours of freedom at a time, but it is what it is. DD is a very dedicated breast feeder and has never had a bottle in her life, although it wasn't for lack of trying. We waited too long to introduce the bottle and she just never took to it. I had intended on weaning her once she was past her first birthday, but she's just developed drama queen syndrome and seems more insistent now that she be breast feed with every meal. I still give her table food, but the meal is never complete without mom to top her off, KWIM? Plus whenever she gets a boo boo or someone takes her toy, it's straight to mom.

Does anyone have any tips for weaning? Or current schedule is 7am, noon, 4pm, and 8pm right before bed. Does that seem like a normal schedule for a 12 month old?
 

kimberf

Loves the Lindy!
O.G.
Mar 8, 2007
4,078
2
California
I don't have any tips, but wanted to offer my sympathies for the flak you're getting. Sounds like you're totally getting the flip side of the coin from me!! I think we just have to ignore the comments from people who aren't close to us (and from people who are, if they make us doubt ourselves!)

And btw, I read through your post waiting to see how old your daughter was, fearing you were like my SIL. She breastfed her twins till they were FOUR. Yes, that's right, FOUR. So when I got to the end, a year old didn't seem all that bad. I have a few friends who have gone that long.
 

Charlie

O.G.
Apr 28, 2007
13,608
11
I agree kimberf but it seems like sea0fyears wants to stop doing BF her baby girl.

My cousin keeps telling me "I can stop, he (my 3 year old nephew) cries so much, yells, demands me to breastfeed him" I say, "just stop, what is he gonna do, cry himself to sleep and realize is not helping" I'd advice the same to you. That's what I did and my daughter is perfectly normal and healthy, hehe. I had to stop because she'd bite me so hard out of nowhere when I was breastfeeding her, ouch :sad: she was 10 mo old.
 

kimberf

Loves the Lindy!
O.G.
Mar 8, 2007
4,078
2
California
Sorry - I realize that she wants to stop, or at least cut back, which is why I said I didn't have any tips. But it also sounds a little bit like she was just feeling bad about other people's reactions rather than how things are actually going, and I wanted to be encouraging about that.

Sea0fyears, I hope you get great tips from some experienced moms!
 

lara0112

MEMBER
O.G.
Dec 11, 2006
7,419
756
I'd say first of all never mind other people's comments, although generally 1 to 2 years is a good age to reduce BF, wean altogether.
I BF my son until he was 1 but he wanted solid food from 4 months old. actually I had to go for a work trip and he stayed with my mum alone (we lived with my parents at the time) and he just naturally weaned himself. he didn't even ask for being BFed when I came back.

My SIL didn't understand either why I BFed so long, she stopped after 6 months I think. I didn't care but followed our own routine. having said that: I would reduce to the morning and the evening feed - I know it might be hard for a couple of days but in my experience babies adjust pretty quickly to new developments. sure they complain but you could try keeping her distracted.

I understand if you want to BF as long as you think is good for your child but it is also perfectly acceptable to get some time to yourself back again. there is always a good compromise IMO.
 

Sternchen

O.G.
May 16, 2006
24,738
24
35
Bavaria, Germany
Our daughter self weaned after she started attending day care more and spending more time with her dad while I was taking classes at the University. I don't think there's anything wrong with breastfeeding for longer than a year - in fact, I think it's GREAT!!!! Good for you mama ;)
 

merika

Wol
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Nov 1, 2006
10,405
89
I breastfed for a long time. Don't let anyone else tell you what's a good time and what's not. It all depends on the mom and the baby.
 

elizat

Member
Sep 21, 2007
9,779
4
I'm not a mom, but your thread and Kimberf's are both crazy. People really stick their noses into what is not their business and are really rude. I know of a woman that breastfed her son until he was 5 and a half b/c he liked it and I guess she didn't want to stop. Now, that is a long time, IMO. Not one year!
 

Mrs. MC

Member
Dec 4, 2007
4,056
0
I don't think that 12 months is very old to the point where it appears disturbing like older ages to me. My daughter also has drama queen syndrome but I had to stop bf her after about 4 months because she had reflux really bad and it wasn't helping her. She is addicted to the bottle, even if she doesn't want to drink from it she is obsessed with holding onto it as a security object. This is what your daughter may be doing and also because it is part of a routine. I know this behavior is not helping her overall behavior but honestly I just don't want to hear her scream. She should be off of the bottle now, as she is almost 14 months old but I just can't take it from her, I feel like she needs it right now. I would go with your instinct. When it gets to the point where you feel like it is not right for you guys anymore, maybe transition her to something else and make it fun. Maybe go and pick out a really cute princess cup or something and get one for yourself that looks the same and if she sees you drinking from it she may want to try it too !
 

Japster

Member
May 8, 2006
7,103
13
WI
www.FutureFashionista.com
You will hear comments like this throughout the years as your child grows. You just have to learn to block them out and remember that you DO NOT need to validate your "mom decisions" to anyone other than yourself. LOL.

I hear "put a hat on him, he's too cold." "Take that hat off, he's shvitzing" "He looks hungry" "Your feeding him WAY TOO MUCH."
And half the time complete strangers who have never spent more than 20 seconds with your children will state their opinion on the strangest stuff.
 

nycmom

O.G.
Feb 14, 2006
3,412
1,120
i nursed my kids until they were about 18 months...i think at a year they were pretty much on the schedule you desscribed...if you want to start weaning, or at least cutting back, i would try phasing out one of the feedings(for me the beginning and end of the day were the last to go but of course you can decide what works best for you)...my kids didn't drink from bottles either so went right to sippy cups...i hope this helps and good luck!
 

abbygirl

O.G.
Oct 22, 2006
1,256
1
"Oh, you're STILL breastfeeding?"

RESPONSE:

YEA, MY HUSBAND PREFERS THE TASTE OF MY MILK TO HOMOGINIZED, PLUS IT'S CHEAPER. :supacool:
 
Dec 14, 2005
7,818
6
USA
It finally happened... we had DD's first birthday party today and I got the question I've been dreading. One of the women there (not a very close acquaintance) commented on the fact that I'm "still" breastfeeding.

I guess you can never win. Either you are labeled a selfish mother for not breastfeeding or you're berated for breastfeeding too long.

I mean, I would love to have more than 4 hours of freedom at a time, but it is what it is. DD is a very dedicated breast feeder and has never had a bottle in her life, although it wasn't for lack of trying. We waited too long to introduce the bottle and she just never took to it. I had intended on weaning her once she was past her first birthday, but she's just developed drama queen syndrome and seems more insistent now that she be breast feed with every meal. I still give her table food, but the meal is never complete without mom to top her off, KWIM? Plus whenever she gets a boo boo or someone takes her toy, it's straight to mom.

Does anyone have any tips for weaning? Or current schedule is 7am, noon, 4pm, and 8pm right before bed. Does that seem like a normal schedule for a 12 month old?
*hugs*. I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like this. Continue to bf as long as you and your DD want to. Don't let other people's ignorance bother you!

I weaned my DD off the breast when she was 3 or 4 months old because she was biting me. She still gets breast milk(I pump like 6 or 7 times a day) in a bottle. I plan on giving her breast milk until she's at least one.

Best of luck to you!
 

lanasyogamama

What time is it?
O.G.
Oct 30, 2007
11,231
4,116
Juste Delighted!
I think you should breastfeed as long as you and your DD want to. My DD just turned 2, and she's been *almost* weaned for months. She just does not want to give up nursing first thing in the morning. It lasts about a minute, so I'm not fighting it for now.

Breastmilk gives your DD so much good nutrients, even stem cells! So, in my opinion the more the better. When people as the questions, just say Yup! and move on.
 

sea0fyears

I’m just here for a good time.
O.G.
Nov 12, 2006
1,624
4
Arizona
I guess I haven't gotten any comments before because my DD is so small for her age, but since it was a birthday party her age was kind of obvious. I had planned to stop BF between 12-18 months of age, but now that it's here it seems IMPOSSIBLE! I know I could go cold turkey, but I don't know if my sanity can take more of her tantrums and super-sensitivity. DH has been working 60-80 hour weeks lately, so I don't really have a support system to fall back on if she wears me out.

I've been so tired and stressed out over this birthday planning and running the house by myself that I've cried myself to sleep a few nights. I didn't even get to do anything for my birthday (on the 13th) so I guess maybe that compounded the issue.
 
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