Ladies, tonight your pal beeb almost needed to send out an SOS for bail money.
I almost killed a man.
Picture this....
It's after work, and I'm at Target picking up some groceries and odds and ends. I'm tired. It's hot in there, and I'm dressed like Nanook of the North because my office is usually a thrilling 53 degrees.
I've navigated the aisles with a broken cart, and finally made my way to the line. I'm not bothering anyone, just standing there, hands on the cart, Blossom Lingo on my left arm. I'm watching a cute toddler blow spit bubbles.
I don't see it coming.
The cart with the broken edge slams into me, LINGO first. I feel it drag across my beloved, pulling her back and away from me and ripping across her smooth, shiny, beautiful leather.
Can you imagine it, ladies? Can you feel with me my horror, my outrage, my anguish?
I close my eyes and tilt my head back, both steeling myself to check out the damage, and willing myself not to kill this Careless Target Employee so close to the holidays.
I inhale, hold it, and look down, horrified.
What?
NOTHING has happened to her?! How can that BE? She took an INSANE hit!
LUX! I LOVE YOU! TANO! BE STILL MY HEART!
Hallelujah, Blossom is OK!
I give the Careless Target Employee the Look of Evil Death and he looks back at me. I tell him he slammed into me and nearly ruined my bag. He nods sheepishly, and says he didn't think I noticed.
Buoyed by the survival of my Blossom, I decide to let him live.
I almost killed a man.
Picture this....
It's after work, and I'm at Target picking up some groceries and odds and ends. I'm tired. It's hot in there, and I'm dressed like Nanook of the North because my office is usually a thrilling 53 degrees.
I've navigated the aisles with a broken cart, and finally made my way to the line. I'm not bothering anyone, just standing there, hands on the cart, Blossom Lingo on my left arm. I'm watching a cute toddler blow spit bubbles.
I don't see it coming.
The cart with the broken edge slams into me, LINGO first. I feel it drag across my beloved, pulling her back and away from me and ripping across her smooth, shiny, beautiful leather.
Can you imagine it, ladies? Can you feel with me my horror, my outrage, my anguish?
I close my eyes and tilt my head back, both steeling myself to check out the damage, and willing myself not to kill this Careless Target Employee so close to the holidays.
I inhale, hold it, and look down, horrified.
What?
NOTHING has happened to her?! How can that BE? She took an INSANE hit!
LUX! I LOVE YOU! TANO! BE STILL MY HEART!
Hallelujah, Blossom is OK!
I give the Careless Target Employee the Look of Evil Death and he looks back at me. I tell him he slammed into me and nearly ruined my bag. He nods sheepishly, and says he didn't think I noticed.
Buoyed by the survival of my Blossom, I decide to let him live.
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