Not so understanding Hubby!

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He doesn't have any expensive habits. I told him about my purse addiction back when we first got together. I used to buy a lot of Rebecca minkoff, kate spade, and michael kors..now that I have moved up to LVs, my husband doesn't really "get it", but he always says as long as I am paying my bills, then the money is mine to spend.

We have a joint account for bills but also have our separate accounts.I always tell him about my purchases bc I would feel guilty not telling him.

I always justify it by saying when we have kids I won't be able to afford LV anymore lol!
 
My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He doesn't have any expensive habits. I told him about my purse addiction back when we first got together. I used to buy a lot of Rebecca minkoff, kate spade, and michael kors..now that I have moved up to LVs, my husband doesn't really "get it", but he always says as long as I am paying my bills, then the money is mine to spend.

We have a joint account for bills but also have our separate accounts.I always tell him about my purchases bc I would feel guilty not telling him.

I always justify it by saying when we have kids I won't be able to afford LV anymore lol!


Lol. I was just finishing college when we met so i was never into much of anything back then. It was kind of just whatever bag was big enough for books and a laptop. especially towards my last year when i was working and would be out of the house for 12hrs or more. He says the same about spending & that i don't need to tell him when I buy something. But i would feel like im trying to hide something if i didn't, kwim/ In any case, i find that most men don't understand most of our purchases haha. My hub is not into buying anything for himself, i have to force him to get clothes or even just to order something that's not a necessity like socks and underwear.
 
i have to force him to get clothes or even just to order something that's not a necessity like socks and underwear.

Same here - in all the years I have known my husband I have never seen him go into a proper shop to buy something for himself. He gets most of his clothing off eBay, he also loves the local charity shop. He bought a suit 17 years ago and this past weekend realised he had to replace it because he had gained weight. So we went out shopping and it was the usual nightmare - no matter where we went, he did not consider any of the suits cheap enough - even the ones in supermarkets!

In the same vein, when his eyes started to fail he went to the supermarket and bought some cheap reading glasses because he would not spend the money on the correct prescription and a nice pair of frames. He only did it when I said I would pay. Likewise his teeth - no treatment unless I paid. I am going to the dentist tomorrow to have something expensive done and I have figured that I will hand him the bill, in the spirit of fairness :lol:
 
Luckily my hubby is an enabler. I definitely wouldn't feel as comfortable with my purchases if he wasn't supportive to some degree. On the other hand, I usually use the money from my bonuses, so in that sense, it is money that i earned on my own.
 
This is the way my husband and I decided to do it. I love Louis Vuitton, he loves his Xbox One. We each set aside a little money every week that we won't miss or instead of having a meal out or a coffee at a shop we put it in our little separate funds. Then when we've saved enough we get what we want.
 
My takeaway from revisiting this thread this morning:
1. Every married couple creates their own rules
2. Communication is key in all areas, and particularely about finances.

I am getting married in three months and my BF and I will not have a joint account, nevertheless we already discuss every big purchase together. We don't want any kind of resentment when it comes to financial decisions,

Congrats!:smile: I just got married a couple weeks ago myself.

Anyways as far as the topic is concerned I am very lucky that my hubby understands my purse deal and he has never made me feel bad about it. I also know that he trusts me and he knows I would never spend more than I could afford or get into debt over it so his mind is at ease. I also trust him so I know that whatever bigger purchases he makes he can make. We do not have joint accounts we have separate right now which works just fine for us for the time being however I would like to get atleast one joint account going.

OP you say that you guys are financially stable so your husband shouldn't be too concerned about your purchases right now but I also saw you said you also complain about some of his purchases. Maybe stop doing that and he may lighten up on yours?
 
Same here - in all the years I have known my husband I have never seen him go into a proper shop to buy something for himself. He gets most of his clothing off eBay, he also loves the local charity shop. He bought a suit 17 years ago and this past weekend realised he had to replace it because he had gained weight. So we went out shopping and it was the usual nightmare - no matter where we went, he did not consider any of the suits cheap enough - even the ones in supermarkets!

In the same vein, when his eyes started to fail he went to the supermarket and bought some cheap reading glasses because he would not spend the money on the correct prescription and a nice pair of frames. He only did it when I said I would pay. Likewise his teeth - no treatment unless I paid. I am going to the dentist tomorrow to have something expensive done and I have figured that I will hand him the bill, in the spirit of fairness :lol:


hah yup! I was looking for sneakers on Sat, did not want to pay snh for myself and for some reason combining i was being charged. But i did get him to order a pair for himself. If I go get my hair done he will peruse kmart while he waits for me and pickup some stuff, but to bring him to an actual store for clothes is like pulling teeth. Ive since over time gotten him to sit down and look online with me to order for xmas or his bday and got his 10 shirts up to 20 lol! Im more apt to order fast for him without thinking, because he spends on himself so infrequently. I think i was more excited than he was about picking out a watch for his bday. I wanted to for so long but could not get him to go, and he has a large wrist so i need him with me :0)
 
Jeez there sure is a lot to be said about my little post lol. Thanks again for all the advice

I think I may have given the wrong impression of my marriage. We do not argue over my LV habit. And I do not complain to him (I do this in my head) about his 50+ sneakers.
I don't understand why he needs so much shoes and clothes, he doesn't understand my purses.

My husband treats me like absolute gold and I am not trying to make him sound bad. I was just curious if there was anyone else out there whose husband/boyfriend truly does not get the expensive purse thing.

When we met I was in school and had gotten rid of all my designer bags. Since graduation and getting a job I decided to start my collection again. Him being the one to buy me my first bag as a graduation gift (speedy b 30)

I think it's great that so many women have Hubbys that support their habit or even encourage it... That's definitely not my guy, BUT I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
 
My takeaway from revisiting this thread this morning:

1. Every married couple creates their own rules

2. Communication is key in all areas, and particularely about finances.



I am getting married in three months and my BF and I will not have a joint account, nevertheless we already discuss every big purchase together. We don't want any kind of resentment when it comes to financial decisions,



Congrats!:smile: I just got married a couple weeks ago myself.

Anyways as far as the topic is concerned I am very lucky that my hubby understands my purse deal and he has never made me feel bad about it. I also know that he trusts me and he knows I would never spend more than I could afford or get into debt over it so his mind is at ease. I also trust him so I know that whatever bigger purchases he makes he can make. We do not have joint accounts we have separate right now which works just fine for us for the time being however I would like to get atleast one joint account going.

OP you say that you guys are financially stable so your husband shouldn't be too concerned about your purchases right now but I also saw you said you also complain about some of his purchases. Maybe stop doing that and he may lighten up on yours?


Congratulations to you both! That's wonderful - being married is wonderful! 20 years myself last month!
 
Thanks for all the responses... I think lol
To clarify
We are newly married (not quite a year)
Just bought our 1st home
No kids
We still have separate accounts and separate bills. We plan to keep it this way for now.
All of my bills are paid on time and often in advance.
He absolutely spends money on things I don't approve of. (But it makes him happy so although I complain, I also get over it)
I appreciate all the comments, both those that see where I am coming from and those that do not.


You just bought a Neverfull so I'd hold off awhile before even considering another thousand dollar purchase. You also said you recently bought a house, so I can understand your husband thinking the money can be better served on something more substantial. You have a lot of years ahead and it's not too late to focus on building a strong financial portfolio. These bags will be around for a long time, don't have to satisfy all your luxury wants now.
 
... but to bring him to an actual store for clothes is like pulling teeth....

Well, get this: my husband went to the dentist a couple of years ago for a checkup. He has never had to have anything done to his teeth - nothing whatsoever, in his entire life. The dentist told him that he needed two small fillings. My husband was aghast, and asked how much that would cost, all in. And here is what he did - he negotiated the price with the dentist, which was knocked down a bit if the dentist laid off the numbing injections.My husband said it hurt a bit, but was preferable to paying the full amount. :lol:
 
You just bought a Neverfull so I'd hold off awhile before even considering another thousand dollar purchase. You also said you recently bought a house, so I can understand your husband thinking the money can be better served on something more substantial. You have a lot of years ahead and it's not too late to focus on building a strong financial portfolio. These bags will be around for a long time, don't have to satisfy all your luxury wants now.

That is a completely sensible, logical, and rational response.

But for some reason, when it comes to LV bags, all that goes out the window ....:nuts: