Not so understanding Hubby!

Bdub

Bdub

Member
Jan 23, 2016
116
22
#1
My husband makes me feel sooooo guilty about my LV habits. Does anyone else deal with this? I've been putting off purchasing a wallet for the longest just because I don't want a lecture (I did just buy a neverfull, I will admit) but I don't feel like it should be a big deal.
We are certainly not rich, but we are financially stable . He thinks it's a total waste of money. :sad:
 
#2
Bdub said:
My husband makes me feel sooooo guilty about my LV habits. Does anyone else deal with this? I've been putting off purchasing a wallet for the longest just because I don't want a lecture (I did just buy a neverfull, I will admit) but I don't feel like it should be a big deal.
We are certainly not rich, but we are financially stable . He thinks it's a total waste of money. :sad:
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Sorry to hear that your husband is not being supportive, or at the very least quiet, but I'm willing to bet that he has his own little weaknesses that you find to be a waste of money. The next time he starts to chirp just remind him of how you feel about his own indulgences...he'll get the point as will anyone else who decides to get too opinionated.
 
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#3
Sounds like a bigger conversation than just the LV purchases. I'd say that's just the symptom. If having an LV or luxury brand collection means a lot to you then have a come to Jesus conversation with him. If not then there are plenty of other brands available that will sate your love of a gorgeous handbag that may not cause a rift in the relationship! Regardless talk about it and whatever you do don't sneak buy it! you could always get a side job that finances your indulgences! That's what I do! I'm not married BUT I do keep household and luxury purchases totally separate! I finance them only with funds from my side business! ;)
 
#4
Bdub said:
My husband makes me feel sooooo guilty about my LV habits. Does anyone else deal with this? I've been putting off purchasing a wallet for the longest just because I don't want a lecture (I did just buy a neverfull, I will admit) but I don't feel like it should be a big deal.
We are certainly not rich, but we are financially stable . He thinks it's a total waste of money. :sad:
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Money is very important in a marriage. I would certainly take my husband's opinion into consideration when making expensive purchases such as a Louis Vuitton item, as I expect him to do the same when he makes expensive purchases.
 
#5
do you have your own income? If you're contributing financially, i don't see why it's a problem to treat yourself to something nice once in awhile if you have the disposable income. does your hubby have his own vice?
 
#6
fabuleux said:
Money is very important in a marriage. I would certainly take my husband's opinion into consideration when making expensive purchases such as a Louis Vuitton item, as I expect him to do the same when he makes expensive purchases.
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I totally agree! I wouldn't be able to enjoy my lux items if I knew it was going to cause tension. Not worth it.
 
#7
onmymind24seven said:
do you have your own income? If you're contributing financially, i don't see why it's a problem to treat yourself to something nice once in awhile if you have the disposable income. does your hubby have his own vice?
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I totally agree. If you are financially stable and using your own personal income you should respect his opinion still but make your own decisions. If it is his income, then I don't think its appropriate to ignore him. There is a huge advantage to be financially independent. I hope it works out!

Btw, my mom used to sometimes do that so I totally hear you on being annoyed. It was my own income that did not interfere at all with essentials so she eventually backed off and said to do what makes me happy (and admitted the bags were super cute! #win).
 
#8
fabuleux said:
Money is very important in a marriage. I would certainly take my husband's opinion into consideration when making expensive purchases such as a Louis Vuitton item, as I expect him to do the same when he makes expensive purchases.
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I completely agree. Also, I think it depends on where you are in your shared goals...do you own your own home, have more than one car payment, job security, education loans, healthy savings, and if you have children there are educational costs to begin thinking about. We've been married 32 years and it's never- ending. That said, we do have our separate indulgences, but with the other's blessing. Another consideration is where you are in building a small collection. Maybe get your foundation bags and then wait for special occasions ( birthday, holidays...) to add more. I've found that I want fewer bags these days. I'm fortunate to have a small collection I love and anything I add has to be very special. Regardless, if it's a sore spot and/ or creates tension, a compromise needs to be reached.
 
#9
Bdub said:
My husband makes me feel sooooo guilty about my LV habits. ....I don't feel like it should be a big deal.
... we are financially stable . He thinks it's a total waste of money. :sad:
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It's probably normal. My husband disapproves whenever I spend money on myself - even though I earn my own money and we have completely separate finances. Does your husband enjoy buying things for his own pleasure? I can't use that argument with my husband because he is so parsimonious, he gets his clothes from charity shops, and even then, not very often :lol:

My husband feels that I don't think about the future, and that I should be saving more. He's right, in a lot of ways. But I had a health scare a few years ago (which will always hang over me) and I'm more focused on enjoying the here and now.
 
#10
Havanese 28 said:
I completely agree. Also, I think it depends on where you are in your shared goals...do you own your own home, have more than one car payment, job security, education loans, healthy savings, and if you have children there are educational costs to begin thinking about. We've been married 32 years and it's never- ending. That said, we do have our separate indulgences, but with the other's blessing. Another consideration is where you are in building a small collection. Maybe get your foundation bags and then wait for special occasions ( birthday, holidays...) to add more. I've found that I want fewer bags these days. I'm fortunate to have a small collection I love and anything I add has to be very special. Regardless, if it's a sore spot and/ or creates tension, a compromise needs to be reached.
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+100 Well stated!
 
#13
Does he not have a "vice?" I feel like everyone has one, it could be shoes, clothes, jewelry; even a daily Starbucks habit can add up. Hopefully you all will find some kind of compromise, maybe limiting the purchases to a certain dollar amount per year, month or etc.

If you aren't struggling financially, I don't see the harm in treating yourself. You can't take it with you when you die, so you should enjoy it now!
 
#14
fabuleux said:
Money is very important in a marriage. I would certainly take my husband's opinion into consideration when making expensive purchases such as a Louis Vuitton item, as I expect him to do the same when he makes expensive purchases.
Click to expand...
:tup:

Havanese 28 said:
I completely agree. Also, I think it depends on where you are in your shared goals...do you own your own home, have more than one car payment, job security, education loans, healthy savings, and if you have children there are educational costs to begin thinking about. We've been married 32 years and it's never- ending. That said, we do have our separate indulgences, but with the other's blessing. Another consideration is where you are in building a small collection. Maybe get your foundation bags and then wait for special occasions ( birthday, holidays...) to add more. I've found that I want fewer bags these days. I'm fortunate to have a small collection I love and anything I add has to be very special. Regardless, if it's a sore spot and/ or creates tension, a compromise needs to be reached.
Click to expand...

Exactly.
 
#15
Thanks for all the responses... I think lol
To clarify
We are newly married (not quite a year)
Just bought our 1st home
No kids
We still have separate accounts and separate bills. We plan to keep it this way for now.
All of my bills are paid on time and often in advance.
He absolutely spends money on things I don't approve of. (But it makes him happy so although I complain, I also get over it)
I appreciate all the comments, both those that see where I am coming from and those that do not.
 
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