Peter Griffin on drunk driving:
Who's sober enough to drive?
Uh, okay, who's drunk but that special kind of drunk where you're a better driver because you know you're drunk? You know, that kind of drunk where you probably shouldn't drive but you do anyway because I mean, come on, you gotta get your car home, right? I mean, what do they expect me to do, take a bus? Is that what they want? For me to take a bus? Well, screw that! YOU take a bus!