Night nurse

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  1. My DH is super-gung-ho on the idea of a night nurse, based on feedback from his male friends. I have slightly mixed feelings -- on the one hand, I am the light sleeper in the family and would be the sleep deprived one, so it sounds great. On the other hand, it's a little weird having someone besides me come and feed the baby at night. I'm leaning toward having one, since I figure I can always opt to get up and feed the baby myself if I want to, but not have to do it every time. I'll be hormonal and tired already, and sleep could make all the difference. Has anyone used one? Do you feel like it affected your bond with the baby? According to the nanny agency, they book 3-5 months in advance, so I need to decide and at least apply soon.
  2. I had one because DH travels and we had twins, plus a 3 yr old.
    Mine came for the 1st 10 weeks 3x/week. She came from about 7pm to 3am. That way I could put my babies down myself and bathe my DD and put her to bed and know the twins were taken care of.
    Then I could actually shower w/o rushing and be confident that when I fell asleep I could get a few straight hours of sleep.
    I nursed my babies so I'd have her bring them to me for their first feeding that she was there for, then I'd let her feed them a bottle for the 2nd one and I would nurse them after that.
    It wouldn't affect your bond w/ the baby IMO unless she was there 7 days/ week all night long.
  3. Thanks, Swanky. That's part of my issue. DH travels a lot, though to give him credit, he's cut back tremendously while I'm pregnant.

    The bigger problem is that while he's home, he sleeps like a log. I've been known to shake him or talk directly in his ear to wake him up, and he'll either ignore me, kind of push me away without waking up, or be so deep in his dream that he'll respond about something in his dream having nothing to do with snoring or his pillow (the usual reasons I'm waking him up). The man is NOT going to get up to feed the baby, not through intent, but he's just not going to hear him cry. I, on the other hand, am a former insomniac (a few hours a night for the better part of 6 years) and still a light sleeper (earplugs every night, eyeshade if it's light, at least 40 minutes to fall asleep, etc.) I'm terrified of falling back into a pattern where I'm only sleeping a few hours a night.

    I think I'll put in the application and then I can always alternate with the nurse during the night, right? At least I'll have the option, even if I decide against it. I wish it didn't require so much advance planning, since it would be nice to meet the baby first and know his sleeping habits!! It's so hard to know now what it will be like...
  4. yeah, totally:yes:
    I did that, I did every other feeding.
    The perk was she'd change the baby, burp him and get him back down while I went back to sleep.
    It's SO hard to sleep w/ a baby in the house, you figure why go to sleep, as soon as you do the baby is just going to cry!
    If you had a night nurse for a while, you'd at least KNOW you could fall back to sleep w/o being woken up.
  5. i didn't have one for my first and then did for my second and it was such a help! i was nursing so i still had to get up but then i didn't have to deal with changing diapers, etc. i would definitely give it a try...
    p.s. congrats and good luck!
  6. i say go for it. you will be glad you did. when i had my dd (she's 7 years old now) i was so determined to do it all by myself even if my dh was totally supportive about getting help. the result- i was sleepy, tired and cranky. when i finally succumbed to having night time help, i was a much better mama. i still fed my baby but somebody else, burped and changed her for me. i had more energy to spend with her during the day, too. i am pregnant with number 2 and will be giving birth in june. i am definitely getting someone to help me at night.
  7. I am just curious... where does one even find a night nurse? Are "night nurses" a normal thing that I have never heard of? Sorry, I am a clueless non-parent over here!
  8. because I have twins I heard about them on the twins website I visit.
    I found mine on
    Mine was awesome because she was also an RN and a Doula, she just needed the extra $ so she worked nights sometimes, lucky for me:biggrin:
    I had no idea there was a market for this either Annie, not until I had twins.
  9. Boy, I sure could have used this with my first baby. I lost a lot of blood and so weak. Plus, I had a third degree tear and he was a marathon nurse (1-2 hours at a time). On top of that, after his birth, I developed restless leg syndrome (which disappeared for 8 years and didn't reappear until my second pregnancy, which I guess is fairly common), so even when he was sleeping, I couldn't sleep because of my legs. I was a MESS.

    Dh stayed home with me the first week, but the second week I was alone. The third week my mom came, but she wanted to go out and be entertained more than anything else and I was still not well. I remember when I came to my 2 week well visit, my midwife was APPALLED that I was alone!

    A night nurse would have been a LIFE SAVER!
  10. Oh neat, thanks, Swanky! I only recently heard about doulas, too.
  11. They're not super-common around here (San Francisco/Silicon Valley area), but definitely not unheard of either. A lot more people here have the daytime nanny, or a live-in who does some evenings.

    They're also called "baby nurses" a lot of the time. The nanny agency that I'm using prefers to call them something longer that more clearly communicates that they aren't there to do medical care, but I can't remember what it is -- something silly like "nocturnal newborn care specialists." :rolleyes: I personally don't have any friends who've used one, but my husband has a few male friends who have (he works in investments, so he knows a lot more people with "help" than I do at my less flashy job.) You generally just have them come for a few weeks or a month while you're recovering and getting back in the groove -- our agency actually adjusts their fee downward the longer you have them, since so many people only do it for a couple of weeks. I'll let everyone know what else I learn as I go through the process, since this is a first for me as well!
  12. Kimberf,
    I had one for my babygirl 7x a week, and she was there at 8 pm til 7 am, I just loved it, it was for the first month only and it was really great, The nurse I had was super cool and she told me things I had no clue about.
    I could even go to the restaurant( it happened 3 times) with my dh while she was taking care of my precious little one and I was breastfeeding my baby ( she even gave me some tips about breastfeeding)
    Just go for it.
  13. I didn't have one with my first baby, but I made d@mn sure to have one with my second!!!

    I had a nurse for 5 weeks after the baby was born. The baby was breastfed, so when she would cry at night, the nurse would bring her to me in my bed for nursing. As soon as the baby was done, the nurse was responsible for changing her and putting her back to bed. It was WONDERFUL for my recovery and didn't affect my bond wiht my daughter one bit. I was exhausted and had a C-section so not having to get out of bed at night was a godsend.

    I highly recommend hiring a night nurse if you don't have a mother, MIL, or sister/friend who can help with this. It did wonders for my sanity and post-partum recovery. I think that my bond with my baby was actually strengthened because I wasn't out of my mind with fatigue and frustration, thanks to getting decent sleep each night! It made the whole post-partum period MUCH more bearable and, yes, even enjoyable!

    ETA: I see that you're in the Bay Area. I'm in SF! My "nurse" wasn't a nurse at all...she was actually the sister-in-law of our beloved full-time day nanny. We hired her because she had experience with babies (raised 4 of her own) and was willing to do the nighttime thing. As long as your baby is healthy and you are certain of the night caregiver's character/background, that's all the credentials you'll need. You'll probably have luck finding someone through word-of-mouth or maybe even a Craigslist poster with impeccable references.

  14. ITA having more rest will give you a better bond with your child. I find it amazing to have a night nurse. When I do have a baby I will definely do this:smile:
  15. if the money isn't an issue...i'd do it

    first few months is hard on you, get help where you can

    i had no help (wouldn't take it from anybodoy...i think i was insane), looking back on the whole experience...i was tired, crabby, stressed out, and lonely.

    older and wiser, if i had it to do all over...i would get as much help as i could afford!