Never ask a guy if he "loves" you? True?

  1. Never ask a guy if he loves you, just let him tell you when the time is right?(you can tell him you love him of course) but it's one of the question guys hate to answer and sometimes it's a no-no??? Is it true?
  2. I always believed that if you had to ask, you already know the answer. I think asking really puts them on the spot- and many would lie just to avoid having to reject/confront someone with their true feelings. If they truly love you, they find a way to tell you when the time is right. Its not something you can force.

    My now husband had a hard time saying it at first. I told him that how I felt, and if he did not feel the same way, I needed to move on. SO I broke it off with him, and four days after no talking to eachother, he called and I could tell he was a wreck. I starting going out on dates immediately, and that drove him even more nuts. Finally, after a month, we ended up back together and have been together for almost 13 years. When we got back together, he was finally able to be honest about his feelings for me- I think the fact that he could have lost me was a total wake up call. So, I just had to let him go, and if it really was meant to be, I knew in my heart that he would come back!
  3. It makes you look desperate to ask.
  4. i agree.. if he does love you, he'll either say it on his own, or he'll show it in some way so you'll know by watching him...
    if he doesn't, you're only pushing him to lie, or face a very awkward situation that may harm your fledgling relship.

    if he does but is not comfortable saying it yet, it'll be very uncomfortable for him.. you don't want him to associate negative feelings with the phrase "i love you".

    ooh on that topic- you REALLY should read Mars and Venus on a date.. it talks about this sort of thing..
  5. All men are different....but if you want a good point of view pick up the book, "Girl, he's just not that into you"

    It could sound harsh, but it really is a motivating book. Many time's I am glad I have my copy, it helps me to keep things in perspective when emotions are high.
  6. If or when he feels he loves you, *he* will let you know. Just think about it in reverse. If a guy asked me that, I would be a bit uncomfortable and a bit put off, especially if I am not ready to say it.:unsure:
  7. Aw Jag! Thats just like the one quote, "If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesnt it never was."

    Kiari I'm gonna try and pick up that book this weekend! Sounds interesting.
  8. How about asking yourself if he acts like he loves you.;)
  9. hahaha, this is super funny.. every time I talk to my bf (he is in Washington while I am still here in Northern California), we have a discussion about whether we love each other.. and instead of just asking "So bunches, do u love me?" I have reframed it to "So bunches, do u love me enough to _______? (e.g., go shopping with me, go watch movies, or what not).. and because he is reminded how much he loves me, I typically get the response I want.. but of course, at the beginning, when it wasn't right yet, I never asked him if he loves me.. all I asked what, so "where are we at now in our relationship?" that seemed to have worked coz we have been together for almost 7 yrs.. and no, we r not yet married...
  10. I know, I am such a sap! But that quote really holds true!
  11. I guess I somewhat understand what you girls saying now...sometimes we just have to switch our views and then will see things differently.
  12. That's such a good point! I do believe actions speak louder than words. There was a time while I was dating my hubby that he was saying such strange things, so wishy washy, that I decided to just ignore what he was saying and just go with how he behaves. I figured when he finally starts making sense then I'll start listening again. Anyways, that phase passed and he finally figured out what it was he wanted.
  13. Personally, I am old fashioned, I always waited for them to tell me first. However, actions mean more than words, many guys don't like to say that too much. I dated for 10 years before I got married and I heard " I love you" a lot without much meaning behind it.
    If he is calling you a lot, giving you little presents, etc.-those are good signs.
  14. ^ i agree. a lot of guys aren't very "vocal".. but signs like he wants to be with you (initiates time together, dates, chooses to be with you voluntarily), or always doing things for you voluntarily (fixes your car, finds and buys things you want, fills your car with gas)..

    there's a great book called "the five love languages".. basically people show love in different ways, not just through words (but women always look for the words!).. there's also quality time, affectionate touch, gifts, acts of service.. you gotta open your eyes to all the other possible ways he's showing love.
  15. The first time Vlad told me, "I think I'm falling in love with you..." I looked right back at him and said "Do you mean lust???"

    Ha... but I'd rather have the guy say it first too. I am old-fashioned in that sense!