Nervous Wreck!!!

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  1. I'm an absolute nervous wreck. This morning was my daughter's first day at preschool. She has never been away from my DH and I so we were shocked when the couldn't wait to get into her classroom! I said goodbye and I left the room while she was playing and singing with the kidson the carpet. When I got upstairs, I guess it finally sunk in that we left and I saw her start to cry. They have a TV that allows you to see your kids in their classrooms. The teacher held her for a bit and she calmed down so we left. Afterwards I called the teacher and she told me that she did participate in some activities but was upset on and off. We dropped her off at about 9:15am and were planning on picking her up again at 3pm. At about 2pm the teacher called telling me that my daughter was really upset and crying. We went to get her and it was nap time and the lights were off and she was just screaming crying. The teacher was next to her trying to comfort her but it just wasn't working. They explained to my daughter that she didn't have to nap, but they do expect her to stay quiet.
    After a bit of talking,my daughter seemed fine and we gathered her things and took her home.
    She was excited once again to go to school tomorrow, and now she is sceaming that she doesn't want to go!!!! I know I have to take her and that it will get easier, but how am I supposed to make this easier for her??!! I thought of staying in the class for a bit, but I can't see how that will help her! I'm in for a fight tomorrow morning I just know it!
    Help! I'm sure you ladies have been through something similar???!!!!
  2. how old is she? from the time frame that you said it sounds like a more like a daycare than preschool, kind of like tutor time/ kindercare. When my little one started daycare she was around 20 months and had a hard time adjusting but the teachers allowed me to stay as long as I needed to. At first I would stay and participate for 2 maybe 3 hours before I could sneak out. Even then she got very attached to a certain teacher and when the schedule changed she would freak out. HTH will add more later.
  3. I don't have children but I was a screamer and crier when it came to leaving my mom for pre-school. I don't know if it was everyday or just in the beginning but I would cry hysterically and my mom would just pass me off to the teacher kiss me goodbye and leave and I think I calmed down after a while. This is a new experience and she's going to be upset for a while until it becomes routine. I don't know if staying with her will help any because it might confuse her once you start leaving.
  4. I see this a lot. I am a T.A. I feel so bad when I see a child cry, but they get over in a couple of weeks. I actually once lied to one of my kids by telling her that he mother called and said she was on the freeway. Everyday she now asks me if her mother has called me. Even the mom tells her that she calls me. Kids are more afraid that the parents are leaving them there forever. Talk to your daughter. I also tell kids that there mom picks them up after snack and outside playtime. So when they see that those things are happening they know they are closed to being picked up. Kids also notice when parents are late because they on their own know when they get picked up and noticed that time has gone by. GOOD LUCK. Do not worry. She will get over it, when she is ready.
  5. This is normal. My son did this for a while when he was in preschool. Try not to stress too much because she will sense your anxiety and that could make it all the more worse. Dont talk about school too much - just get up with a smile and get her ready and drop her off. The less stressed YOU are the less stressed she will be. It could get worse before it gets better.
    A good preschool teacher will know how to handle this and tell you to immediately leave. I wouldn't even watch her on the tv - it will only make you more upset.
  6. I think the best thing to do is to give her a big hug and kiss, tell her you love her and that you will be back in a little while. Letting them know that you WILL be back is the biggest thing.

    Lots of my friends have been through this, it will get better.

    Good luck!
  7. ^^ i was going to say the same thing. and just reassure her of all the fun things that she can do while there.
  8. Thanks! For all the advice! My head tells me to remain calm and that she will eventually be ok with being away from us, but I almost lost it yesterday! Last night she got herself so worked up she slept so restlessly. She woke up and threw up!!! I tried my best to stay calm. This morning I woke up got her ready for school and took her. She cried of course in the beginning, but I just gave her a huge hug and kiss and let the teacher pick her up and try to calm her down. I DID stay upstairs for a bit to watch on the TV and she calmed down fairly quickly. We left and picked her up halfway into nap time. Next week when she goes again we will leave her longer until she makes it the full day. It seems that this way works better. Especially now that she KNOWS we are coming back to get her!

    This is a private preschool and childcare center. They are also an accredited private kindergarten as well! This especially is great because they do not adhere to the september 1st cutoff date. My daughter turns five on September 17th and I hated the idea of her waiting another whole year for kindergarten.
  9. I seriously dread the day I have to leave my daughter at school. I seriously wonder if I will be able to do it.

    Sorry, I don't have any advice. This thread made me tear up a little bit.
  10. I agree with the suggestion above that you give her a hug, kiss, and leave. Teachers generally don't like parents to stay around, as it can exacerbate a child's anxiety once the parent leaves (as well as be disruptive to the teacher's routine).

    I have two kids who attend daycare, 3yo and 8mo old. One thing I did for my son was to keep reassuring him that I would get him after his nap. Or talk about something you plan to do together that she likes, and that you will do it 'after school.' Or find one thing she likes about daycare and talk about it incessantly on the way to school.

    And if you do nothing, she'll likely get over it in a few weeks anyway. Hang in there!
  11. Today my daughter told me that she really likes school! She only goes three days a week so today was one of her off days. She wanted to do some of the activities that they did in school this week. She keeps talking about it too. We'll see how all this goes when we drop her off on Monday again!

    omgsweet- I know exactly how you feel, after her first day of school was so traumatic and I saw that it was even effecting her sleep I almost lost it and just kept her home with me. It took all my willpower to get her up and dressed for the next day!

    Your little girl is beautiful!

  12. Thank you!

    It's good to read that she likes going to school. As long as she is enjoying it, I think it will only get easier. Good Moms know when to let go. You sound like a really great Mom!
  13. Thanks so much! :smile: I'll keep you guys posted on how she does on Monday!
  14. i hope it goes smoothly for the both of you!! :]]
  15. I haven't gone through this yet myself. However, I'm a member of a very large local parents' club with a very active email list, and I've read a few people say they had almost the exact same situation. It sounds like it's pretty common for your little one to be really upset, then say they want to go and be excited about it, and then still be upset the next few times. I think I remember people saying it can take a month or two for them really to settle in, which I know must feel like torture. But everyone did say that their kids ended up really happy to get the social interaction and see their new friends.

    I know when I started nursery school my mom had to bribe me. If I made it through the whole day (which was actually only a half day) without crying, then I got to go to McDonald's, which we never, ever got to do.