I just got mine so I can't answer the shape question or softening but it sounds like your'e already disappointed with it. Is it just the size that you don't like? Do you generally carry larger bags?
My pros and cons---
Pros:
I have Noir and it's pretty worry free for me due to the dark strap.
The inside attached zip pocket is great for important cards if you don't want to carry a wallet (ID, debit some cash, etc).
I like how it's divided but each side has plenty of space. I am pretty sure you can fit a lot in there!
The drawstring is pretty secure and can't just be opened by someone trying to get into your bag. Using it xbody leaves your hands free to easily do it yourself though.
Specifically to the rose poudre...it's BEAUTIFUL!
Cons:
Snap-in strap lengths either work or they don't for your height/build. The xbody length is perfect for me (I'm 5'4", size 10 US) but may not work on some taller or shorter.
That's the only con I can think of
Can you try it with your stuff in it and make sure there's enough room for your needs? Take pics of you wearing it? Maybe even take pics of you wearing your FAVORITE bag and compare that pic to the NN to see what stands out as like/dislike?