Need some sorority rushing advice...

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  1. I know there are many wonderful college girls on this forum and am wondering if anyone can share their experiences and advice for sorority rushing . My daughter is considering rushing a sorority and has heard so many stories-good and bad unfortunately. Is it a good experience, any advice i can pass on to her while going through the process would be greatly appreciated! At her college they go through a series of "parties" to meet the girls and after each one they narrow it down, you must make it through each stage to continue. What are they looking for in a potential sister? Thanks so much!!!
  2. She should have some sort of answers "prepared". Common types of questions are: what did you do over the summer, what made you interested in rushing, what kind of volunteer work do you do? etc. I suggest she tries to see which houses she likes for herself, don't listen to what other girls/friends have to say. Ultimately she will know which house feels right. I rushed in freshman year, and I consider it to be a good experience. Although I did not join a sorority (I thought it was too time consuming, i wanted to pursue my own hobbies), I thought rush was a good way to practice interacting with people. Also, I am familiar with all the houses, so when my friends talk about sororities, I know what they are talking about. The sorority girls are looking for other girls whom they think will fit well with their group. It's kind of like a job interview. Both sides need to see if the other is a good fit.

    Ohh. If she knows nothing about the rush "parties" as I did not, she should know that they begin with little one-on-one interviews where a current sorority member asks questions to the rush-ee. The sorority girl will also tell the rushee a bit about her house. The subsequent days have different themes such as house tours, philanthropy day, entertainment day. The last day is pref day when a sorority member will "pref" a new member- basically making a personal invitation to join the house.

    After each day, the houses create lists of girls they want to invite back to the next "party". Your daughter will find out who has invited her back until it is narrowed down to 1 or 2!

    This is how rushing worked at my school, and I'm assuming it is similar at your daughter's school. I wish her good luck, and I hope that she enjoys the experience.

  3. Hi!! I was rush chair at my sorority and I just graduated from college so I am VERY familiar with the process as I planned it myself!

    What luvhautecouture said is correct - Your daughter will basically visit every house during the beginning rounds and will have one-on-one conversations with the sisters. Most of the time, your daughter will be led to a seat on the couch or whatever and she will stay there - the Sisters themselves will be the ones to walk up to each PNM (potential new member). Don't worry about the logistics so much, the PNMs will have "Recruitment Counselors" or "Greek Life Guides" that will explain each and every detail to them and make sure that your daughter goes to where she needs to go.

    Your daughter needs be really friendly, have a big smile on her face and be ready to have conversations. The most important thing is that your daughter needs to keep the conversation going - ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WORD ANSWERS. She needs to be REALLY positive - no one wants to talk to a girl who is just going to ***** about her roommate, complain about professors, etc. Eye contact is REALLY important - your daughter's eyes should not be wandering around the room. She cannot look tired or bored...we take GREAT offense to that. Also it's important that she asks questions about the sorority so that it's obvious she's interested.

    Remember to tell your daughter NOT to bring up controversial topics. Here are things she should avoid asking about:
    Amount of money the sorority asks for dues
    Money in general. No showing off!
    Boys, sex, drinking, drugs,
    religion, politics, abortions, etc
    asking about OTHER sororities
    asking about how sororities pick their new sisters
    asking what the "stereotype" of the sorority is
    ^All of these are HUGE no-nos.

    The conversation needs to remain friendly and polite, but still reveal things about herself. She should talk about things like what her major is, her love for travel, or her love of animals, etc. Get my point?

    Make sure your daughter dresses appropriately. I'm not saying she has to be decked out in designer wearing Manolos..She just needs to adhere to the dress code. Make sure her makeup doesn't look gross and caked on and that she's not showing too much leg, butt crack or cleavage. A cute outfit will DEFINITELY get your daughter noticed so if you want to, you could buy her a few cute dresses/shoes, whatever.

    What are they looking for in a potential sister?
    They want someone who just "fits" and clicks with all the sisters. Whatever sorority your daughter can SEE herself in..whatever sorority where your daughter feels like she can just be herself.. is probably the right one.

    Also please tell your daughter not to get discouraged if she gets cut from a sorority she really liked in the beginning. She should keep her hopes up until the end of the process...Keep in mind that we sorority sisters usually know what's best for each PNM so when we cut a girl, it's just not meant to be. As long as your daughter just acts like herself, and displays politeness and respect, she will end up in a sorority that's just perfect for her :smile:

    Yes recruitment can be scary because there's a chance you will get cut, but in the end its absolutely worth it. Being in a sorority was one of the best things that ever happened me...I met all my best friends in college through it and I had the best four years of my life. I cannot explain how much FUN being a sorority is!!!

    ALSO really really important - I will end my post before I start writing an essay!!
    - Make sure your daughter cleans up her facebook. We do A LOT of facebook stalking and we will eliminate girls who look like they might be a liability
    - Make sure that during the recruitment process, even when she's not actually at a rush party, that she is conducting herself well. This means no rowdy frat parties, excess drinking, hooking up with frat boys, etc. Sorority girls are watching...and they will report back to rush committee.

    Please PM me if you have any questions!
  4. Fantastic advice and input ladies! I really appreciate it, I will pass it on. Thanks!
  5. One other thing to add. Make certain that at the end of the day she is careful when she bubbles in her pref sheet. Mistakes made that way have been know to cut girls from sororities that both wanted.
  6. Golden's mom: what is "bubbles in her preference sheet " mean?
  7. at the end of each night, they rush-ees get to choose houses they will like to return to (via a ballot to bubble in). There is a computer system that somehow figures out which houses to send the girls to the next day!

  8. At the end of each recruitment day, the PNMs are given a sheet with a list of all the sororities they visited. The PNMs have to rank the sororities in order of preference...they will either have to bubble in a corresponding number or just handwrite it the number. It's a process to ensure that PNMs have a say in what houses they want to go back to, and what houses they are not interested in.

    It's actually a pretty easy process to mess up, like golden'smom said. There are usually different rules - as in you can only rank your top 5 favorite sororities, or you have to rank ALL of them even if there sororities that you absolutely do not ever want to go back to. If you don't fill it out correctly, your pref sheet could get voided and that will really mess things up.

    The sororities themselves will also rank the PNMs. Then, an independent body (The Inter-Sorority Council or whatever it's called) will match up the preferences. If a pref worked out, the PNM will be invited back to the house the next day. If it didn't, then she is essentially "cut" from that house.

    Also there is something called "suicide-ing". On the very last day, when they have "pref" their sorority, they will probably have to decide between the last 2-3 sororities that haven't cut them yet. You are supposed to rank all of those 3 - but some people are so die-hard about one particular sorority that they will only give #1 to one sorority and leave the other spaces blank...essentially meaning that they are refusing the other 2 sororities. Most Greek Councils oppose this practice because it means if you don't get into your top choice, you don't get into any sorority at all. Make sure your daughter understands this :smile:

    Again, this is all nitty gritty logistics that your daughter shouldn't really have to worry about...Her Greek Life Guide will explain everything that your daughter is responsible for, especially the whole Preference process.
  9. just make sure to remind her that if she feels like it isnt for her, she doesnt have to do it. i joined and ended up dropping because it truly was just wayyyy to time consuming.
  10. I was in a sorority in college and i loved it. it does have its downsides that many girls arent prepared for. The first semester i joined it was over $600 ( from aug to dec) and then jan to may it was over $500 and got lower each semester, but you invest lots of money in things that i actually didn't mind like particular t-shirts you had to wear for rush. I think thats the biggest thing ive seen girls worry about when they came through rush.
    It is definately beneficial and if your daughter is true to who she is, she will find a sorority where she loves the girls and they love her back for who she is. i have seen girls want to be in xyz sorority bc of name and then leave bc they felt they didn't fit in. im sure she will have a great experience, all the sisters know the new girls are nervous so everyone tries to be friendly to make them feel welcome. i hope she has a wonderful time!
  11. At my school freshman weren't allowed to rush until second semester, so during the first semester most girls tried to become friendly with the sorority sisters. Once rushing came around, everyone already had an idea which sorority they would be joining. We still had to make the rounds at all the mixers but it was a pretty easy process.

    Side note...I would suggest that your daughter talk to a fraternity brother about what the pledging process is like for the different sororities. They may differ in the amount of hazing, etc and the guys generally know all that info. I had to deal with a bunch of hazing but I did have an older guy in one of the frats that I would rely on to warn me when it was going to be a bad night. If I had spoken to him prior to pledging, I might have opted not to deal with all of that and chosen a different sorority.
  12. Me too. I didn't really like having no flexibility nor the thought of getting fined for not being able to make it to an event because I had something more pressing that I needed to attend (like my cousin's wedding)
  13. Great thread and advice here! :tup:

    I was in college in the late 80s so we didn't have to worry about keeping our Facebook page cleaned up :P, BUT that's really good advice for today's times.

    I'd say keep an open mind, be positive and just let your personality shine through. Be conversive, upbeat and focused. Don't let your eyes wander around the room when speaking 1:1 or with a small group of the sorority members.

    I also agree that you'll know when 1 or more 'feel' right. On a personal note, I went to a very small university with only 3 sororities (but each had 90+ members, a very strong Greek system) and I waited until my sophomore year to rush. So, I had an idea of where I might want to plug in after a year of living in the dorms and getting to know a lot of women from each of the houses, but in the end I went with a house I didn't expect to at first...and never regretted it.

    It IS a time committment - house meetings, activities, philanthropy work. And the work behind the scenes to prepare for Rush as a rusher is enormous. There were times I felt a little over-programmed, but looking back on it now I have no regrets as college was a wonderful, unique 4 years in my life. And the bonds with my sisters are strong to this day (and now we're all on FB too, LOL) - we have reunion gatherings, job networking help, and on and on.