Need advise for my relationships... HELP!

cranberrym

Member
Jul 16, 2006
177
0
PA
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five and half years.

Just lately I found out he is doing something I don't like. I got extremely upset.

We didn’t talk for the next 3 or 4 days.

Last night he called me and tried to explain why he had such a strong reaction to the whole situation. He said, “The point is not “stop using something”. I feel you are taking away my little freedom.” I feel bad. The truth is, he never ever stops me doing anything I want. He backs me up 100% in any situation. “As long as you are happy!” This is his favorite line.

Okay, I just want to know how you PFers communicate in this type of situation. Thanks!
 

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,756
6,729
San Francisco
It depends on what he's doing. If he is doing something that you feel you can't live with, or don't agree with, then that's an issue. If he's doing something that you can live with, then you have to leave it alone.

I have this issue with my husband so I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a hard time dealing with his choice, but it doesn't affect our relationship, so I leave it alone.
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
591
North Carolina
Without knowing what he's doing, it's hard to give suggestions. If it's illegal or potentially damaging to his health or your relationship, then it's not a matter of "his freedom" IMO. That's an excuse when people are doing something they can't stop, but are in denial about it. Just my 2 cents.
 

Japster

Member
May 8, 2006
7,103
13
WI
It's too general for me to offer a suggestion. Is it illegal or just something against your moral convictions?
 

Sunshine

O.G.
Feb 1, 2006
12,049
24
I read your posr before you edited it..how old is he?? I know in my early 20's we did this and it was not a big deal. Im not saying it is good however, we all grew out of this! if its recreation that is one thing..but daily..not so good. Just my opinion.