Need advice please on upgrading e-ring

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bag happy

Just Happy
Nov 11, 2006
238
0
#1
I need advice on upgrading the center stone in my 3 stone e-ring (2.5 tcw). My mother-in-law chose the center stone. It's 1.25 ct, D color, good cut/polish/symmetry. The 2 side stones are each 63 points, D color, excellent cut/polish/symmetry. My wedding band is eternity 3.2 tcw (16 diamonds each 20 points) D color, ideal cut and is really beautiful.

Even though we've only been married less than 6 months, my DH says I can upgrade my center stone if I wanted. I really dislike the strong fluorescence of it and feel that it diminishes the beauty of my set when it should be the focal point. I receive a lot of compliments on my rings and I don't wish to sound spoiled (I'm not. His mother did feel that she was getting me a really wonderful diamond but I make considerably more money than my husband).

First: is it too soon to upgrade and will this hurt my new relationship with my mother-in-law:
Second: if not, where to start shopping?
Third: is it better to "trade in" the center stone for a different one or should I sell it on my own?

Any comments are really appreciated! TIA!!
 
#3
Hi Sunshine, I'm new to tPF but have read many of your threads. Nice to meet you! :smile: Your ring is absolutely gorgeous! :love: Did you design it with your jeweler?


Here are a couple pics. Sorry for the poor pic quality, the first one was taken the day we picked up our wedding bands and I remember thinking it was too big! :wtf: Funny I don't think that 9 months later! The second pic was taken this morning. Don't you think the center stone looks too small for my setting? Or am I just making excuses to upgrade so soon? :hrmm:
 
#5
I don't think the center stone looks too small at all.
I think I know what you mean though, that's the problem with some 3 stone rings, if the side stones are too close in size to the center stone, the center stone really doesn't stand out. I have a 3 stone ring too.
But your ring is gorgeous!!
 
#6
Your ring is gorgeous!

JMO, but if I was your MIL I would be insulted if you upgraded this soon.

Especially since she probably put a lot of time and effort into finding what she thought was a diamond that you would love.

Can you live with it until an anniversery?
 
#8
Did you get the stone from a jeweler with an upgrade policy?? If not, you need to find a jeweler who will take trade in's or one who will take it on consignment. Not all of them do. It is not easy selling diamonds on your own.
 
#9
Your MIL may (or may not) feel you are unappreciative of her affection for you if you upgraded so soon. But if you, DH and MIL have an open communication, she may appreciate both your honesty rather than finding out in a surprise way.

I can see how you might want to get a center diamond to match the ideal cut of all your other stones... maybe another 1.25 or 1.50 ct in ideal cut is what you desire? Or are you desiring a larger size ideal cut?

Anyway, I think your whole set is TDF.
 
#10
are you firm on staying with a three stone or would you consider going to a solitaire? i think i would prefer one larger stone with the sizable eternity band. that might be a good reason to offer for changing.

i think the rings are between you and your husband. no need to cause hurt or discord but politely change to your heart's desire. if you and your husband can afford the change :yes:
 
#11
Thank you very much ladies for your kind comments. Ideally I'd like the center stone to be 2.5 - 3 ct ideal cut. But since I can't switch it w/o my MIL knowing, I may just add another eternity band and wait for an anniversary like Robyn smartly suggested. This was really helpful. Thank you very much for helping me. :smile:
 
#12
Personally, and please don't take my intent incorrectly--I think, although your ring is beautiful, it may be more harmonious energetically to have the stone on your hand come from yours or your husband's selection and not to have been his mother's selection.

Having your MIL pick the stone you wear as the center stone, seems like she is prominent in your ring or is angling to be perhaps be prominent in your marriage as well. Maybe I'm groovy about this stuff, but it feels like a bad vibe.

That said, it is probably smart to wait until your first anniversary.

and THEN UPGRADE!!!

I advocate upgrading! You can sweetly tell her, after the upgrade, that you appreciate all she did for you in the selection process but that you really felt you needed a ring that suited your taste--blame it on flourescence, get a colored diamond (which was always your heart's desire (wink, wink) or whatever), a bigger diamond, a different shape, whatever--since you will be wearing it always.

Its your ring, and though it is gorgeous--for me, if my MIL had selected the diamond, it would feel invasive to me. But that's just me. YMMV
 
#13
I think your rings are beautiful. However, your set looks out of balance/proportion. I don't think you need to upgrade your center stone (it's great!), but rather, you might want to reconsider your band. 20-points each is just too big (too competitive) to support your e-ring. I think a simple band with pave diamond all around might work better with your e-ring. You can always wear your current band as a right hand ring.
 
#14
hi, your rings are wonderful. i will be married 20 years in april. i have upgraded my e-ring 3 times. if you and your hubby want to upgrade your center stone, your band, any part of it, all of it, that should be up to the two of you. even if mil chose the stone/ring, sorry on this one-it's YOUR ring, that signifies your life with your husband. i spent MANY years trying to appease my passive-aggressive mother-in-law. guess what? we no longer speak! many issues and many years of me trying to be the dutiful daughter in law-visits with the kids(we live outofstate), phone calls, nice gifts, etc. when a family crisis hit, it did me no good. dh gave me a "one way ticket out of his family" as he put it. i finally took it and am much happier.
i am sorry-trying not to be a downer. i am making assumptions, sorry. you may have a very nice, healthy relationship with mil. so in the end, it's still up to YOU.
good luck from a fellow diamond lover
 
#15
uwsgirl, thanks very much for your comments. I agree, the rings look out of proportion. Our jeweler told me he wouldn't make the 30 point eternity band I initially wanted because the proportions would have been wrong. :yes: I wish I could just be happy with my rings. We've only been married for 5 months!

saligator and toriajj, I really appreciate your comments. I didn't realize that there would be any issues with the MIL because we live 400 miles away and don't see her very often. But that was being naive! :sweatdrop:

Thank you for your help. It's really nice that people can be honest here.
 
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