Need advice from my friends on the Coach board.

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razorbackbelle0

razorbackbelle0

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Mar 26, 2007
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#1
I know we can't post anything not related to Coach here, but I know a lot of you also don't check the general discussion board. I'm really low and unhappy and made a huge decision last night and I know you ladies better than anyone else and desperately need consolation as well as your guidance. Please have a look, 'cause I'm in hell right now and need to know I'm not crazy :cry: :crybaby:

http://forum.purseblog.com/general-discussion/what-have-i-done-141110.html#post2929064
 
#2
razorbackbelle0 said:
I know we can't post anything not related to Coach here, but I know a lot of you also don't check the general discussion board. I'm really low and unhappy and made a huge decision last night and I know you ladies better than anyone else and desperately need consolation as well as your guidance. Please have a look, 'cause I'm in hell right now and need to know I'm not crazy :cry: :crybaby:

http://forum.purseblog.com/general-discussion/what-have-i-done-141110.html#post2929064
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you are NOT a terrible person. I know you're miserable right now, but it will get better, I promise!

I think you did the right thing. Sometimes as much as we want it to, it's not meant to be. Him abusing you, even twice, is not acceptable.

You said it yourself, your only 24, you have all the time in the world. This will be tough for a while, but it will get better. You deserve to be completely happy.

I've always wondered about couples who come from two totally different backgrounds. Sometimes you can get past it, sometimes you can't, you just have a different way of looking at life and money, etc.

You will be okay, it will get better, I promise....:yes:
 
#3
court811 said:
you are NOT a terrible person. I know you're miserable right now, but it will get better, I promise!

I think you did the right thing. Sometimes as much as we want it to, it's not meant to be. Him abusing you, even twice, is not acceptable.

You said it yourself, your only 24, you have all the time in the world. This will be tough for a while, but it will get better. You deserve to be completely happy.

I've always wondered about couples who come from two totally different backgrounds. Sometimes you can get past it, sometimes you can't, you just have a different way of looking at life and money, etc.

You will be okay, it will get better, I promise....:yes:
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Thank you, Court. :heart: I know we've had our differences but I really appreciate your insight. Your words make me feel so much better.
 
#6
when i broke up with my ex, it was because he was abusive (also a pot-head, alcoholic, and a bum...but that's another thread).

go with your intuition. always. if i had done that, i would have saved myself nearly 2 hellish years. you did the right thing- it might hurt like hell now, but it will be okay.

SCREW staying in a relationship to make other people happy. make YOU happy. you don't deserve a-hole boyfriends.

also, if it counts for anything, it's very rare that you can change a guy for the long run...it just doesn't happen.
 
#8
Sweetie - an abusive relationship is NEVER EVER worth it, period. He demonstrates all the classic signs and needs serious counseling if he's ever going to establish a genuine relationship. You've done the right thing. He will not change and you shouldn't beat yourself up because you've done nothing to deserve this treatment. Don't look back - only forward. You have so much going for you. What would be worse would be to find yourself trapped later on and not feeling you can remove yourself. Hugs to you!! :heart::heart:
 
#9
You absolutely did the right thing. Bless your :heart:.

I say this because I'm about to turn 43 so I have a little bit of age and experience to reflect on. ;)

I know it is very, very difficult now but one day you will look back on this and be so thankful you made this decision. I admire your strength and courage.

I'll always remember what my supervisor at the airline where I worked told me when I was about to turn 26. She said, " So you're about to enter your late 20's...you won't believe how diiferent they will be from your early 20's. You'll be a different person by the time you're 30." So true.
 
#10
southernbagz said:
I'll always remember what my supervisor at the airline where I worked told me when I was about to turn 26. She said, " So you're about to enter your late 20's...you won't believe how diiferent they will be from your early 20's. You'll be a different person by the time you're 30." So true.
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I can't tell you how true that is!!!
 
#11
DO NOT feel like a bad person!

You did what was right for you, Sarah. If you go back and re-read what you wrote you'll find that you had one line to say about what you like about him and then 19481983913 paragraphs about what you didn't.

Putting his hands on you ONCE was enough for you to cut him off. That's just a no-no. And then saying all those mean things to you and being inconsiderate...you are such a nice person Sarah and beautiful at that! You deserve so much better.

He says he'll change the way he dresses and how he talks and how he is constantly picking at me and he says he'll come hang out with my friends and go out with me.
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You were right when you said no one should have to change for you just like you shouldn't for him. And even if he did change, what's to say he won't resent you for it later? Like come back at you and say you made him change.

I know it seems VERY hard right now and you are second guessing yourself. I've been there. As a friend, I can assure you that with time it will get better. I used to HATE hearing that, but it's true. Time heals all. Maybe give yourself some time to yourself and your friends and then once he's out of your system try things out with the ex from 3 years ago. When I was reading your post I couldn't help but think it was a movie like story and this other guy (the ex) could probably be the man for you!

Good luck and if you ever need an ear or e-shoulder, I'm here for you =)
 
#12
Sara you absaloutly did the right thing.
I know it's hard right now but every day will get a little easier and you will see more clearly that you made the right decision.

Hugs to you I know it's tough but we are all here to help you get through it.:heart:
 
#13
Wow ! You absolutely did the right thing and the reason you feel like you have second thoughts is because he is a very manipulative person. Believe me I have much experience with these types. He gives a little of good and a lot of bad and he knows when to give that little bit of good to keep you going. You are right he will never change but you also have to recondition yourself to like good guys instead of "bad boys" and he seems like a classic bad boy. Also no more rescue fantasies, you cannot change him or make better what has happened to him in life, he doesn't appreciate the stability you can provide for him, he is too damaged ! You are still young though but it is better to get out now while you can and before you waste too much time on this guy. Stay single for a while, work on your life and focus on yourself (which is fabulous by the way) and then find a guy who can make you happy and really feel good about yourself and enjoys and or supports the same things you do. I am speaking from experience with all of this and I am in a much better place. Good luck !
 
#14
southernbagz said:
I'll always remember what my supervisor at the airline where I worked told me when I was about to turn 26. She said, " So you're about to enter your late 20's...you won't believe how diiferent they will be from your early 20's. You'll be a different person by the time you're 30." So true.
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Oh I hope so! The next four years of my life better be different haha.

Sarah, I gave you my thoughts in the other thread which just mirrors everyone else's. Keep your head up!
 
#15
Sweetheart,

You are SO kind and generous. Staying with someone like that would eventually take away the person you are.
You would doubt yourself all the time.

I have seen the bad and the good relationships over the years.

I believe you DID do the right thing!

Hang in there, sweetie and you know you have us if you ever need anything!:heart:
 
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