Hi All, So since my last posting about Smokey (my 2 year old maine coon who died really suddenly from Kidney Failure/FLUTD after trying everything) I have still been really struggling. It takes me a couple of hours to fall asleep at night I am just so upset about. I know I had asked how soon was too soon to get a new baby but then our friend had a moving situation that left no place for his cat, so I offered to watch her for 6 months. So I have a new cat kind of. Except, she hates Cooper (my golden) and doens't want anything to do with anyone. I can't stop crying over how sweet my Smokey was. I have never missed anything this badly in my life (and my husband has been deployed 20 months out of 26 and I didn't hurt this badly) Anyway . . . Smokey came today. The ER vet we had him to in GA refused to let us pay the bills (over $5,000) and had him cremated without charging us. I thought I would be OK . . . but I have been bawling for an hour. Now I don't know what to do . . .my husband is a navy pilot and we are moving to VA next week. He thinks I should put his ashes in the bushes around the house because that was his fave place to be (besides cuddled on the bed) but I can't imagine leaving him here when we leave next week. I am just sick over this. Lizavet8, I need your advice too. I stay awake at night just staring at the ceiling convinced and sick I could have done something. I know you said you lost 2 young cats to a similiar thing . . . what happened!? I keep playing the events over in my mind. How he was peeing blood two weeks earlier and I rushed him to the ER vet and they said he had FLUTD, gave him antis and then told me to take him to the vet the next day. I did the vet said he had inflammation from it and gave me pain pills and a cortisone shot. He was fine! Not blocked! Then a week later he started dripping blood again outside the litter box. I took him back to the vet the same day and he said "this should be the last shot and he will be fine". The next night I noticed he hadn't peed that afternoon and he was trying. I didn't feel the blockage like ball they had. I WAS going to rush him to the ER vet right then at 10pm but our friend who is in vet school and works at this amazing eR clinic (the one in GA) said he will be fine until AM but be there when they open at 6am. He slept on my bed that night and wondered around a little bit and at 6am I handed him over to the vet. The vet called us back that afternoon and said his kidney levels were so high (14 when I guess 4 is bad) it was like he drank antifreeze. We live in FL and I don't even keep that at the house. However the are differing stories on if he was even blocked. The vet told my husband he became blocked once he was there. . He said his kidneys were so bad and had to be put to sleep(the subfluids weren't working). I freaked. That is when the two techs from the eR clinic in GA drove over night and got to the vet hospital to transpot him back there 6 hours with a cathter and IV's. This is my husbands best friend and they had the ten vets most from UGA working on him. Even a visiting one from LA. He was doing so much better. His numbers went down for his kidneys and he was purring and sitting up. Then he blocked again and again. They would have to take him off the iv to keep his bladder from bursting but then his kidney numbers would soar. Then the blocking got out of control. When they called us our friend was in tears and said he tried everything even after the doctors gave up. He said that there was surgery which I said "yes" too and he said it is inhumane. He would be in more pain and it would prolong his life for a couple of weeks. He gave him a valium and then put his to sleep. When I write this I feel like I am going to be sick. I have gotten a nice note from the vet saying there "Was nothing I could have done". Another person said they have done studies where maine coons have serious kidney problems. I just STILL FEEL RESPONSIBLE. It is tearing apart my life and my husband and I are having issues over it because he thinks it is time I move on. They never did a blood test the first 3 times he was in there to get shots and I blame myself. I trusted what they said. I didn't make sure he got wet food (I never knew dry food was bad), I should have taken him that night at 10pm. Those hours would have made the difference I tell myself. Our friend says the outcome would have been the same but this way he got to spend a night in bed with me vs. a cage. I just don't believe it. i think they want to keep from hurting me. I just need help on how to get over losing a cat when you feel 100% responsible.