My world is crashed two weeks ago but I am still strong

  1. Don't know where to start to tell what happened last two weeks, it was like a movie but it did happen to me. I was totally devastating when it happened but now my emotion is back to normal again.

    My husband and I were just married the end of 2005 and had wedding last year, but from last December we fought a lot because what he told me before is not true. He said the car he was driving has been paid off but actually it is not. I found out he had not paid the monthly leasing fee for 10 months so last december the car leasing company wanted to possess the car. Also, I found out he had habits going to cash loan, money mart those kind of services, which I really hate, because those interests are extrememly high. So he did not tell me he still has some debts not paying back yet. After finding out all his untold debt including owing amount for those cash loan places, one CC card bill and owing government tax amount , I tried to help him to pay back debts step by step based on our monthly budget, giving back his old leasing car and bought a cheap second hand car. Also he agreed I managed household budget and financial since I keep telling him we need to fill in those debt hole firstly then we should start saving asap for family.

    However, two weeks ago Monday morning I found out there has one hotel bill in his car, with one woman's name and CC info. I asked what it was and he stuck for 3 minutes did not what to say, just said it was his, was somebody else. Then he said it was his boss's affair and let him keep the bill...etc. And also he said the girl is not from his company..etc. So l left his car going to work, meantime since I remembered the first name on the bill so I confirmed that the woman works same company as his. At night, he told me if I wanted to know the truth, then he told me that the girl's husband is crazy so she talked to him a lot, so that night he dropped her to hotel and went to his second job at night, then picked her up in the morning going to work together.

    I was so mad and devastating at that time, asking for divorce and tried to sell our house so I can move out. Last week he said because we fought too much that is why he feels the girl can listen...blah blah. Also since he agrees to sell house and knows we will eventually divorce, so he keeps the relationship with that woman more open, dinning out, even went to hotel last monday again (according to his CC transaction history).

    He mentioned that the woman in his company is also married 3 years and having a 6 years daughter. and that woman keeps calling her a lot every night.

    At this point I really don't know what to say, I told him I will let him go that's why I am asking for divorce. After the first week he agreed to sell the house firstly, and looks like he agrees to get divorce too.

    What a joke for me.... I was deeply heartbroken and could not stop crying at first week, but now I do think I found their affair so early which is good for me.
  2. Wow! I am so sorry to hear of your heartache! Glad there are no children involved. Turn around and thankful you did not invest more money or time on this guy. Don't look back:heart:
  3. Wow honey sorry about this. At least your smart enough to have a divorce. He doesnt deserve a great woman . Just let him be.
  4. Oh I am so so sorry for you.

    I agree, sadly, with Lynnie - don't invest anymore time into this relationship, he obviously doesn't want to.
  5. Thanks so much for responding, that is also what I am thinking too. Besides shocking, devastating, I just try to be positive. When I looked at his recent cellphone bill, it shows he keeps contact the woman a lot, making the bill now up to over $400, and send back/forth txt message around 1000 msgs. And he still does not admit there has something going on, even he said they went to hotel last monday just for "talking"... is that ridiculous. For me, I can accept his financial mess, but really can not take his affair thing.
  6. A family member had this same situation-but it lasted 9 years. I thought she would have a breakdown, but she was able to salvage her credit, finish her masters degree, and get a job after graduation making twice as much as she's ever made-all within a year of the divorce.

    I'm sure she accomplished this with lots of tears and heartache, and I don't know how she did, but I hope you can move on, heal, and be better off than you were with this guy like my family member did.
  7. I will, and right now I need to get out this marriage asap, that is why after 4 days I found out his affair our house was already on market for sale. I can not waste my time anymore. Thanks for your encouragement.

    Also CORRECTION: He mentioned that the woman in his company is also married 3 years and having a 6 years daughter. Now that woman keeps calling his cellphone a lot every night, kept talking at least one hour.

  8. He sounds like a prize b*stard, and you're better off without him. Like you said, it's good that you found out so early in the affair, all the best to you!

    Something like this happened to my aunt - she went through a lot but now she's better off. (It was a small price to pay to be rid of such a liar IMO.)
  9. I moved here four years ago, and don't have any family members and friends here (right now I can talk to my coworker about this). The reason I was devastating because I thought he would be my family and my everything, now the reality is telling me he is not.

  10. wow thats awful, im so sorry to hear that. Its good that you are moving on and making a clean break.
  11. Correction again - don't have any family members and friends here (right now I can NOT talk to my coworker about this, will let them know after separation/divorce done).
  12. I'm so sorry to hear this horrible news. Stay strong and positive and vent to us all you need to!
  13. Thanks again. I am much better than two weeks ago, at that time I can not stop crying but must control myself not tearing at work. He loved me and cared about me so much, treating me like a princess, but suddenly he turned into another woman whom likes to talk to him, that is what I never think of before.

    But anyway, the good part is I found out so early, if not it may put me into very difficult situation to get out.

  14. aaarrrggh, stupid men...good for you he was dumb enough to let the evidence slip through and you found out. better early than later when kids are involved, he'd have put in deep debts..etc...
    I am sorry that your family and friends are not there with you. Where are you from ? is it far away to visit them, or them to come over ?
    Try to find extra activities to do to change your mind, and find more friends to be surrounded and to talk to.
    Maybe you could go out with your coworker and she can introduce you to more friends ?
    I was always told to not base my entire world on 1 man(1 person generally speaking), he can't be your everything even if you're madly in love, stay grounded.
    good luck
  15. U Go Gurl! Just Stay Strong...iv Never Been Married But I Have Had My Heart Broken And Girls Night And Chocolate Worked Great For Me! And As For Him Whatever Goes Around Comes Around!