My husband also thinks it's stupid to spend so much money on purses. However, he would never "forbid" me from buying a Coach purse. He knows it makes me happy and I work just as hard as him to earn our money. But, I also would never buy one without talking to him about it first, just as he wouldn't buy something that costs $300-$400 without discussing it with me first.
My husband discovered my new Coach...
- Thread starter Biscuitgirl
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He is probably a little insecurish that you are the bread winner and you don't have to go directly through him for the approval which would lead to cash.
My bf is the biggest enabler ever. Everything is, "If it makes you happy you should have it." I tell him I could save the money for future bills and what not and he always just says we have money for that already. *lol* Both my bf and I have reeeeeally low paying jobs with high cost of living, but we're just really good with our money I guess because I buy stuff left and right and still have money for bills and savings. :okay:
I will have three years married and I just bought my first Coach around two months ago... When I bought it I was ver excited and I show it to my husband (it was a "cheap" one, a swingpack and it was in sale; I just paid like $88.00) he liked it. So, I started to be annoying talking always about how nice are the Coach bags... the last month (one day before my birthday) we went to the market and when we leaved my husband asked me if I want to go to the mall in front for I choice my Coach bag! He bought me the medium Ergo that was $268.00. He don't said nothing about the price and I was feeling guilty because it was expensive but he told me that is good sometimes we buy something that we really like not matter if it is a little expensive, so I felt better. But after I when to return the bag because it was a little scratched in the leather and I ordered a Hamptoms Carryall. My husband always is making jokes about my bags (all them cheap bags...) and he don't understand why a woman need to have a lot of bags... but I always say him the same thing: "I don't understand why he have so many video games!!!"... and he don't say nothing else about my bags.
We don't are rich, we are normal people and I don't have a job. But I just be honest with my husband, I said him that I like Coach bags!!! And I explain him how expensive is for example, a Louis Vuitton bag, so for that he is "lucky" that I like Coach
ha ha.
He always make his weird faces when I start to talk about Coach but I said him already that I have a registry in Coach.com for if he is interested in know what I want for Christmas (or any other day).
The worst thing you can do is be afraid that your husband notice that you have a new bag (or another thing). He can't be upset for that, is your life and if that make you happy just do it! Next time you want a bag let him know and in that form when he see you have it he don't will be surprise. He is your husband, not your owner. If he loves you he need to understand. If the situation is about the money he need just tell you but not be angry because he discovered that you have a new bag.
Good luck!
We don't are rich, we are normal people and I don't have a job. But I just be honest with my husband, I said him that I like Coach bags!!! And I explain him how expensive is for example, a Louis Vuitton bag, so for that he is "lucky" that I like Coach
ha ha.He always make his weird faces when I start to talk about Coach but I said him already that I have a registry in Coach.com for if he is interested in know what I want for Christmas (or any other day).
The worst thing you can do is be afraid that your husband notice that you have a new bag (or another thing). He can't be upset for that, is your life and if that make you happy just do it! Next time you want a bag let him know and in that form when he see you have it he don't will be surprise. He is your husband, not your owner. If he loves you he need to understand. If the situation is about the money he need just tell you but not be angry because he discovered that you have a new bag.
Good luck!
And I explain him how expensive is for example, a Louis Vuitton bag, so for that he is "lucky" that I like Coach
I say the same thing to my parents!
My guess is that he's more angry at the fact that you didn't consult him, rather than money itself. It could be a trust issue, maybe?
my boyfriend doesnt understand the whole spending over 50$ on a purse thing. then again he isnt into name brands or anything like that
my aunts said the same thing. they couldnt believe i spent 250 on my ergo even though it was a mark down from 438. my side is.. i rather have 1 nice purse then 10 small 30$ purses.
my aunts said the same thing. they couldnt believe i spent 250 on my ergo even though it was a mark down from 438. my side is.. i rather have 1 nice purse then 10 small 30$ purses.
Glad all is ok and everything worked out.
I figured he was just upset that you purchased the bag "behind his back" (like ann70821 stated). He probably was feeling left out because it seemed that you didn't "need him" especially since you are taking care of things right now financially.
Many blessings in your new marriage!
to everyone who doesnt understand why her DH was upset, heres the answer....
they are married. therefore, regardless of who is bringing in the money, or who is making more, they should have talked about it before hand. thats why he was pissed, and then she didnt tell him after she bought it, she waited for him to notice it. im not blaming anyone, but he kind of has a right to be upset. its more of a trust issue than a money issue, im sure
they are married. therefore, regardless of who is bringing in the money, or who is making more, they should have talked about it before hand. thats why he was pissed, and then she didnt tell him after she bought it, she waited for him to notice it. im not blaming anyone, but he kind of has a right to be upset. its more of a trust issue than a money issue, im sure
I'm afraid I have to totally agree with Lvuittonaddict. It's exactly what happened with my DH and I. I did the same thing (and we both bring in income) and DH stated exactly that. DH said he probably wouldn't have stopped me from buying the purse (because he has his own love of Golf and Flying) but it's the fact that I didn't even discuss it with him prior to purchasing and then didn't even tell him after I bought it either. I think he was just hurt. I think I would've been hurt, too, if he'd done the same thing to me.
My DH and I agreed that as long as the bills are paid, and we stay within our "allowance" amount, that we can buy whatever we want without question. If we want something that costs more than our allowance amount, then we talk about it. He doesn't like my bag addiction but I don't like his video game addiction, so this avoids the argument about our "stupid" purchases.
This system probably wouldn't work for everyone but it does for us.
This system probably wouldn't work for everyone but it does for us.
Other than being poor right now, my DH and I have NO money qualms. All of our issues have to do with amount coming in vs. bills going out, not whose money is doing what and consulting before we spend on stuff.
Anyway, I was going to say that our method for dividing up our funds to ensure we get a (sometimes very small) bit of play money and then enough to pay our bills is foolproof and involves continuous communication but does not end up with anybody feeling ill will towards one another. We have a joint checking/savings from which we buy food, pay bills, and do 'us' stuff together. We each have an individual account for ourselves to do with and save how we want.
The percentage we put into the joint depends on how much we are making. For example, right now I am making more steady money than my husband, so I am putting more money into the account. I generally keep the odd numbers at the end of the paycheck (i.e. the 76 dollars), and my DH will put in whatever he makes minus like 50 bucks. This is only for times like now, which is lean times and we need all the cash we can to make ends meet. When we have enough in our joint account, we each keep up to several hundred dollars from each paycheck. however, if 'we' are in trouble, than we each put whatever we have saved into the joint account to help out our household finances. Eventually, when we are able, we put that money back.
Sometimes we buy stuff straight out of our joint account, but only if we pay it back or if we talk to each other (like - omg this bag is on sale and I only have saved 75% of the cost, can we pay with it out of the joint and I will pay the remaining 25% when i get paid?)
The bottom line for DH and I is that we work hard for our money so sometimes we need to buy something nice. He wouldn't have been mad at me for buying that carryall without his permission because no doubt the week before he bought himself a new fishing rod
Anyway, I was going to say that our method for dividing up our funds to ensure we get a (sometimes very small) bit of play money and then enough to pay our bills is foolproof and involves continuous communication but does not end up with anybody feeling ill will towards one another. We have a joint checking/savings from which we buy food, pay bills, and do 'us' stuff together. We each have an individual account for ourselves to do with and save how we want.
The percentage we put into the joint depends on how much we are making. For example, right now I am making more steady money than my husband, so I am putting more money into the account. I generally keep the odd numbers at the end of the paycheck (i.e. the 76 dollars), and my DH will put in whatever he makes minus like 50 bucks. This is only for times like now, which is lean times and we need all the cash we can to make ends meet. When we have enough in our joint account, we each keep up to several hundred dollars from each paycheck. however, if 'we' are in trouble, than we each put whatever we have saved into the joint account to help out our household finances. Eventually, when we are able, we put that money back.
Sometimes we buy stuff straight out of our joint account, but only if we pay it back or if we talk to each other (like - omg this bag is on sale and I only have saved 75% of the cost, can we pay with it out of the joint and I will pay the remaining 25% when i get paid?)
The bottom line for DH and I is that we work hard for our money so sometimes we need to buy something nice. He wouldn't have been mad at me for buying that carryall without his permission because no doubt the week before he bought himself a new fishing rod