My heart is broken:( Help me get through this.

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  1. #1 Mar 17, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2016
    My sweet angel Hero is just 6 and was just diagnosed with aggressive cancer squamous carcinoma in his tonsils and throat. It has been a shock and days of endless crying and unbearable pain. My havanese is the sweetest dog, one that will sit in your lap for hours and stare into your eyes so lovingly. He is also so comforting and has made me feel so safe and secure and filled with joy. When I am cold I pick my seeet baby up. He has double coated thick soft hair:smile:
    Hero was having a minor skin issue near his mouth, drooling all of a sudden and not eating more than two bites of food. We thought it might be a dental issue so we went to the vet. She gave us antibiotics as he had a fever and did blood work (which came out fairly normal) He seemed better but started drooling again when the antibiotics were done then I asked for a stronger antibiotic at the follow up and that seemed to take care of the issue. I scheduled a teeth cleaning just incase he chipped a tooth or something etc. well he had his teeth cleaned and the vet called to say there were two tumors in his throat. They did chest xray and then a biopsy.
    I was devestated. The results came back dysplasia and irregular arrangement if cells and that cancer couldn't be ruled out.
    They referred us to Cornell Oncology which we waited two long weeks. We just went Tuesday and the Dr. Told us he was fairly sure examining Hero he had cancer which spread! I was shocked as I thought the tumors were benign and they could just remove them. They took three fluid samples and the results came back squamous carcinoma. The Dr then said Hero had a few weeks to a few months. I about passed out I felt sick and in shock. How can this be? He is barely 6. Surgery is not an option. Radiation or chemo would only help a month or two. I am just still in complete shock and cannot stop crying.

    The thought of not having my sweet Hero in my arms again is unbearable. I feel like something is wrong with me. I know I need to just enjoy him now but the dread and fear in my heart is so strong. I have such a connection with this dog. I have two other dogs but just not the same as Hero.
    I just don't know how to cope with this. I hate to be crying constantly around him. I came home after work he ran to greet me. I picked him up he puts his head down on my shoulder like a baby. I felt so relieved and conforted then again cried. I just love him so much:sad:

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  2. It breaks my heart to hear this, poor baby. I don't know what else to say but I'll hope for a miracle for him. Sending good vibes as I know this is beyond difficult for you. :heart: :heart:
  3. luv2run my heart is breaking for you - I wish I had words that could help but I don't. Please be strong if you can. This happened to me with one of my heart dogs - incurable cancer, I came home and cried so hysterically I scared my DH. I spent every second I could with him. It's all you can do. Love him up and make the best of your time together.

    I wish I could help you...
  4. Thankyou:smile:

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  5. How did you get through it?
  6. Well I was fortunate that I had other dogs and a cat who needed me so I couldn't disintegrate, I had to take care of them, plus my DH, I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other even when it was difficult. I had to do the household stuff etc., it had to be done. I was in a fog for weeks and cried a lot but I went through the motions. When people say it will eventually get better, this is true, it has been about 4 years and I can think about him without crying...

    I lost 2 more dogs last year within 10 days one was also a heart dog (of course I loved them both), you just seem to get through it despite yourself.

    {{{{Hugs to you}}}}
  7. What a sweetie, a nice picture
  8. I'm so sorry to hear this. Hero looks so sweet. I can (sadly) relate to your feelings, as well. I lost my first dog, due to cancer, and he was too young. It felt so unfair. I wouldn't have been ready to lose him at any time, but I wasn't ready to lose him at a young-ish age.

    I would also have massive crying fits, which he would tolerate up to a point. Then he would very politely turn his head away from me, and let out a bit of a *hrumph'ing* sound, as if to say "keep it together, mom". It always put a smile on my face, during a tough time.

    I've sadly lost a few dogs (and cats) now, and knowing that I can help keep them physically comfortable thanks to modern medicine, and spoil them with their favorite treats is a comfort to me.

    My best wishes to you all.
  9. I am so sorry for you [emoji22] know that you have a circle of people here that you can turn to whenever you need to talk. It's so heart breaking when your baby is sick.
  10. luv2run41 ~ I am so sorry reading the story about Hero... He is so cuddly...

    I have 3 little ones too that are senior by now and I afraid that some day I will have to face the reality but wish these days will never come.

    I am sure Hero knows how much you love him and wish you to be strong... Let's give our furry kids lots hugs and kisses and best of our love. :hugs:
  11. I am so sorry to hear that your beloved boy is very ill. He looks like such a beautiful and sweet natured dog. Yes it does seem so very unfair when they are young and struck down by disease or illness. I am going through a similar thing myself with one of my cats Vincent. Although he does not have cancer, he has been suffering from debilitating arthritis and joint disease for a few years, which has now left him unable to walk without being heavily medicated. He's only 13 years old which is quite young for a cat.

    At first I was angry and felt that it was very unfair, and then I just cried for days. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him or having to let him go so prematurely. Like your boy Hero, Vincent is my little companion, he comforts me when I'm sad, he's always by my side and we just have a connection that I don't necessarily share with my other two cats.

    It was hard for the first week, knowing that he could be leaving me in a few months, to stop crying and feeling so sad, but I realised that what I needed to do was to embrace the time that I have left with him. So now I sit by his side, wherever on the floor that may be, as its my turn to comfort him and to be his companion.

    I have no idea how I will get over his loss, so there is no way I can comfort you in that area, but in time I know that loss and the hurt and the devastation will get better over time I just don't know how long that will be.

    You and hero are in my thoughts and hugs to both of you :hugs::hugs:
  12. Sending you and Hero lots of hugs. It's terrible when we hear a diagnosis like this.

    We lost one dog to cancer at age 5; she was a total sweetheart. It was a different type, tho, and we had 10 additional months because she was able to receive chemo. My heart dog died suddenly and while I don't cry daily I still deeply miss him. Only another animal lover can comprehend what this feels like.

    Try your best to stay in each day to love Hero during the time he has. I know that's hard.
  13. So sorry that you are going through this right now. He looks so beautiful, so happy, and such a sweetheart. He is also lucky to have you.... for you love him so much. No matter how much time you have with him, feel comforted that he knows he is loved by you. Be strong.. ... we are with you.....
  14. i'm sorry to hear about your dog:crybaby:... make his last few days, or weeks, as special as you can. cancer in dogs is very aggressive and the end often comes much sooner than they say. don't forget about your other dogs during this time - they will be just as affected by Hero's illness b/c they can sense it, too. they will also be a major source of comfort when he's gone.
  15. You said some very important things, especially about the other dogs grieving. Even now they probably can sense that something is wrong. Our animals are so intuitive---more than I ever realized.
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