I don't know what to do. This morning was one I'd rather forget...I've been at my current job for 5 months, and all kinds of drama has been going on. My boss and I had been friendly for a while, and I helped her go thru a bad break-up with her ex. She whined that she had no friends and nothing to do on weekends, and I took her out and we seemed to have fun. We're about the same age and seemed to have plenty in common. Then...suddenly, she is completely *****y to me and ignores me. And then she tells me she wants to have a chat because of MY behavior. We talk it out and agree to continue to be honest with each other, and we excuse each other's behavior as just being stressed out (even though I don't think I did anything to her). So I just let it go when she is curt and rude to me, but then I notice that she's being really friendly to other people in our dept., like she was before with me. She's also being harder on me than everyone else. She nitpicks my reports, which were done in the same fashion they always were (in the past, she said they were perfect), and she compliments the other team members, but if I make a mistake, she blasts me in front of everyone. I ask if we can talk about it this morning, and she blasts me by saying that she's done all she can and the problem is ME, not her, and that she doesn't know how to deal with me anymore. So I look like an emotional jerk, and I'm really hurt. I don't know what to do. Additionally, I feel like she's using her power as my boss to hurt me, like when she nitpicks my reports and gives me more work than everyone else (so of course, no one else is stressed!).
Workplace My boss paints a picture of me as the office jerk
- Thread starter pr1nc355
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she sounds unstable, go low under the radar for a while.
things at the office generally move on in time, just stay clear of her.
things at the office generally move on in time, just stay clear of her.
No offense but it sounds like there is more to this story. What does she say specifically about your behavior? What does she nitpick?
This is what I thought of too. I don't know if I'd try to talk to her or not. Maybe let her cool down. Can you switch departments?
You might not realize this, but maybe you started "slacking" or weren't as respectful of your boss after she became a friend....she probably thinks you suddenly started believing you are her "equal", that she's not an authoritative figure to you, and she is being mean and overbearing to put you in your place. If you talk to her about this it might repair your friendship...she obviously liked you at some point and had a reason to befriend you, it could work out again.
She doesn't say anything specific about my behavior. She said once that she thought I was ignoring her, but she and I talked about it (I said that I was probably just really busy trying to catch up on things after being out sick for a few days), and we agreed that things were fine. After that, I made an effort to be friendly with her and ask how things were going every day. She continues to be cold with me, yet friendly to everyone else. She never said that I was slacking, in fact, she is quick to assign me a job before everyone. My productivity is higher than everyone else in the dept., and I do more paperwork than everyone else, and she admitted this. Yet she says that my report formats are wrong, when I've been doing the same format that was fine when we were friendly.
I think that what may have happened is...she got jealous. Once, my cell phone was out of service, and I mentioned it to someone when she was in the room, and she muttered that no one ever calls her, so it doesn't matter to her. Then, when I invited her to my birthday dinner, she muttered that she wouldn't have any friends or boyfriend to take her to dinner for her birthday. And when someone in the room asked me what I got for my birthday, and when I told them, she rolled her eyes.
I think that what may have happened is...she got jealous. Once, my cell phone was out of service, and I mentioned it to someone when she was in the room, and she muttered that no one ever calls her, so it doesn't matter to her. Then, when I invited her to my birthday dinner, she muttered that she wouldn't have any friends or boyfriend to take her to dinner for her birthday. And when someone in the room asked me what I got for my birthday, and when I told them, she rolled her eyes.
I can't switch depts. I have a Master's degree and specialized license for what I do, and that's the dept. I'm in.
I would ask her specifically about the reports, such as "has anything changed recently regarding the report formatting? I've been doing things the same for a while now, and I don't understand why what I'm doing now is wrong, or why you wouldn't have mentioned it earlier?" I would also ask her if she would mind, in the future, correcting your mistakes in private in her office, instead of in front of all of your coworkers, which is humiliating to you and very inappropriate of her. I think this is a pretty common request in the workplace, and she should be more than happy to oblige. If she refuses, is there any way you can speak to her boss about it?
Also, can you think if you did or said anything that might have set her off? Sometimes seemingly unimportant comments can really mean a lot to others. Maybe she is just really insecure?
Also, can you think if you did or said anything that might have set her off? Sometimes seemingly unimportant comments can really mean a lot to others. Maybe she is just really insecure?
i think she's jealous of you IMO i wouldn't ask her how she's doing in a friend way (girlfriends) don't ask her about her problems unless it's work related and stop hanging out with her. she told you she doesn't know what to do with you. she might try to fire you stay way from her as much as you can
Been there, done that, my fellows. I found it was harder to work with women, especially a female boss. I honestly never enjoy working with women at all. Thankfully, I now work alone with a computer. Women naturally do compete with other women. The pretty one might end up have a lot of female enemies, but a lot of male admirers.
ITA
Again, ITA.
I REALLLLLY agree with this one!! I work in a primarily female environment and the cattiness, back-stabbing, whining and generally pre-school brattiness of it is frankly hell at times. To top it off our boss is the Queen of Every Negative Female Personality Flaw you can think of which just encourages the nasty behavior.
OP, I'd just maintain a professional demeanor at all times and if she continues to single you out you may need to set up a 3-way meeting with her superior so it doesn't degenerate into a I-said-you-said scenario. Good luck!