My best friend has cancer

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  1. My best friend has breast cancer. She had a second bout with it last spring. She is like a mother to me. My mom died 3+years ago from cancer. My best friend (second Mom) has been there for me for 23 years........and I for her. I always felt uneasy with her breast cancer, so many mistakes were made by doctors, things missed and not reported. So she has been telling me for over a year she is still at stage II cancer and I keep thinking it just can't be becuas of the double mast. and lymph node involvement and chemo she was last put on (which was for metastatic cancer)which she says she does not have. I get all test results and the last pet scan reads stage 4 breast cancer and she is still saying it is wrong her doctor never said that. OK????? So I talk to her dear friend this morning and find out she tells me and her friend different things (leaves out so much for each of us). She tells her friend she has stage 4 breast cancer......
    Of course I am devastated, I really felt in my heart this wasn't good from day one but I feel I can't call her on this, for whatever reason she did not want to tell me. We have always told each other everything and she had dealt with so much with her ex and things were really bad when we first met---she is a different person now and I am so proud of what she did--became such a strong person. I also found out that she has a lump on her chest wall that she told me about 3 weeks ago. I told her to have them biopsy it today when she was in surgery for something else and she said they couldn't but would do a MRI in the future. She told me she found the lump. Her friend told me the doctor/maybe test found the lump and it was supposed to be biopsied today. So it is just more confusing. I am scared for her, I feel a bit lost because I just can't come out and say "you lied" to me because her friend and I will not mention what was said between us.
    I just need to whine.............and it is a safe place here.
    I am not sure if she can get any more chemo, and they said no radiation for her with the second bout of cancer.
    She is supposed to visit for a long vacation in a few weeks and I pray this won't cancel her plans.
  2. Gillianna, I'm so sorry to hear about your bestfriend. IMHO she lied to you to spare you and because she loves you.

    I'll PM you soon, if you don't mind.

    All the best to your friend.
  3. It is never an easy thing to be the one who has to be strong , and healthy when you have some one you love fighting that awful illness.:sad: Words never seem to help and often fall short, in my humble opinion just holding a hand or stroking a cheek makes words seem a lot less necessary ... just letting some one you love know you are there means the world . I am so sorry that you have to go thru this .
    Best wishes to you and your friend
  4. ooh..I am so sorry.I am dealing with my father in law and cancer right now..He is PHH's buddy as well as his dad.Its so hard......His dad doesnt always want to tell us everything -to spare us..Just be there for her...Its so hard to watch them sick..I know.My Hubby is like a stranger to me lately..he is so freaked out at the thought of losing his dad.The best you can do is be there for support.
  5. Hill Jill, sorry to hear about your father in law's illness.
  7. Awful thing cancer.. I can remember when I rarely heard it mentioned. Now, unfortunately, I hear it all the time. My aunt passed last month from bladder cancer. Please accept my kindest thoughts and warmest wishes in these times of difficulty..
  8. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Miracles happen lets hope this will be one of those times.
  9. I'm so sorry for you and your friend. Be there for her, now that everything has come out, she needs you.

    My MIL is under hospice right now and we don't expect her to last the week. It has been 6 1/2 long years. All you can do is be there and pray.
    If that's all you do, it is enough. My thoughts are with you and her. Many hugs.......
  10. Just to say you are not alone, so many of us have lost someone to cancer. Just make sure you spend all the time and give all the love and support you can. Life is so short. Big Hugs to you!!
  11. I'm so sorry for you and your friend - cancer is such a horrible disease :sad:
  12. I'm so sorry...please know that I will be praying for both you and your friend.
  13. Hello,
    I am sorry to hear about your friend. And breast cancer is a scary thing. This is hard; I know. My father died from lung cancer in December. My bf lost his father to lung cancer in March. Probably one of the best things to do is offer support. See if there's any practical thing you could help her with; listen, listen and love. Just be.
    I will keep you and your friend in my thoughts and prayers.
  14. My thoughts are with you and your friend. Cancer really bites, I lost my Dad to liver cancer 1 year ago.
  15. I'm sorry. I will keep you and her in my thoughts and prayers. My cousin has cancer twice already in her breast and finally have double mast. She didn't want to tell you becuase she loves you.