More - ADHD and grade reports

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  1. I'm about ready to break down and cry. My son's grades just came home:

    Math D
    Science D
    Social Studies C
    Reading C
    Health C
    Spelling B
    Language Arts A
    Music Band A
    General Music A

    What more can I say and do.... I am beyond frustrated. I had no idea his math grade would be that low (no warning). His tests were As and Bs and he does his homework every day, so why the D? Science I know he did a really bad in class report and did poorly on one test.

    Spelling tests were all As, so why the B? I think it's his ATTITUDE and having to deal with him is making them give him lower grades, to be honest...

    This is killing me. He is SUCH A GOOD KID!!! Right now he's practicing the piano, without my insistence. He does his homework without making a fuss, but he's LAZy and doesn't like to put much effort in things, but I think he's beginning to realize that this is beginning to haunt him!!! But HOW, HOW can a kid bring home these grades without me being aware that they were that bad? I knew about SS and Reading...

    SO why is the pediatrician STILL NOT CALLING!!!! This is as much as an emergency as anything else at this point... I'm so sad... a bright kid should NOT be getting these grades!!!
  2. ^^Hugs, berry.

    Don't his teachers tell you anything? What about open house/parent-teacher conferences don't they talk to you about his academic performance then? How do teachers grade his they have a particular series of assignments they grade, or do they just give what they think he deserves?

    And even if he got bad grades in Math because of timed testing, why Science? Does he have the same teacher for both? I don't think ONE bad in-class assignment and one bad test should give him a D?
  3. Berry...

    I am a teacher although I teach high school. Honestly, you need to be getting more feedback from his teachers in terms of what is going on. I would ask to see the specifics on WHY he received those grades. I do not know what your system is the USA as I am in Canada but up here, we are expected to provide parents with access to our gradebooks if they request it. I would find out what kind of grading system they are using and request a meeting with his teachers. Secondly, I would really PUSH the doctors. Has your son officially been DIAGNOSED as ADHD. I know that students up here that have been diagnosed with this label are provided with an IEP (Individual Education Plan). The school district has psychologists/behavioural consultants/specialty teachers that go over the doctor's reports and develop individual education plans that dictate how these students learn best. We, the teachers, then meet with the panel and are "educated" on how these students learn best. We then adapt our lesson plans for these particular students. I am wondering if you have this type of education system in place at your schools. Are there are any such options open to you? Feel free to PM me anytime if you need any help/feedback.
  4. First, I was doing grade by memory and i got two mixed up. it's

    Math C
    Social Studies D

    at the bottom it states: Students grades are greatly impacted by lack of completed and turned in classwork and homework.

    It's not the tests, (though there was one bad one he "forgot" about - so didn't do the study guide for it), but EVERYTHING else.

    The frustrating thing is, I met with the teachers the first week of November. I have emailed them several times, I never hear back. I'll leave notes in his assignment book for my son and for the teachers to REMIND them and him.. but still.

    I did get a progress report at the quarter, but only for Social Studies and Reading. So, WHY I have never heard anything from Math and Science is that I think even though the teacher's divide the teaching 50/50, they only "report" on progress reports the students who are actually assigned to them... that's the ONLY thing I can figure.

    And yes, my son was officially diagnosed with ADHD and we are awaiting the pediatrician's follow up plan and I called AGAIN TODAY and even went to the office today to PUSH this. I'm so frustrated..... But I also have to remember that yes, he's gifted and in a gifted school, and yes I do have high expectations, but I also need to remember he has a REAL disability that is NOT, NOT, NOT being addressed AT ALL right now in the schools. An IEP will follow once we have the pediatrician's "rec" along with the ADHD psychologist's rec.

    I have to remember, that my son is frustrated too and that I think sometimes he's so frustrated, that he gives up because trying doesn't get him much farther than not trying.... So... we'll keep plugging at it and keep pushing the system until he gets what he needs.

    Thanks for listening to me on this. I really have nowhere to go with this as people think I'm bragging if I say anyting about the gifted program, but being gifted intellectually does NOT give anyone a free ride and I am dealing with stuff just like other parents.

    You would be surprised the number of times I've heard, "Well, at least your son is able to learn" and stuff like that.... ANY child that is not able to live up to their potential, no matter what level that is, is difficult to handle as a parent. Right now, I'm looking at a kid who if I don't get this worked out could be a gifted, yet unsuccessful adult who works as a garbage collector for life (nto that this is a bad thing, but it's not what he wants or we want).
  5. I am so sorry for your frustration and I would feel exactly the way that you do. I agree with the other ladies though, you need to have a meeting with the principal of the school and get a plan underway...a WRITTEN plan that everyone is aware of their expectations and what they need to do to get there. This is your right as a parent, you can check this out with your state department of education.

    Secondly, I think that maybe you need to ask your pediatrician to refer you to a good therapist for your son. This is a therapist that can work on how your son is coping with all of this. If your pediatrician cannot do this for you then just ask around and I'm sure that you will find one. He could really benefit from learning new coping skills as well as training methods which will also help him learn.

    Other than that you are SO doing everything you should be doing. Try not to get too upset about it because you will work it out and if your son sees you upset then he is going to feel more upset and feel even more stress about his performance and that isn't going to help either one of you.

    I know this seems non-stop but it will get better. Hugs to you!!!
  6. ^^I think you should call. Ask the teachers for an appointment. Tell the office that you would like to meet with the teachers and could they please schedule an appointment. Bug the teachers until they listen to you.

    Your son is maybe one in a class of 25-30 students. The total number of students a teacher teaches every day is probably upto 100-120, so it is hard sometimes to keep track of individual students and their strengths or weaknesses. The other thing is that teachers of older kids do not like to issue reminders to kids about schoolwork or homework. They sometimes have the attitude that "He just has to learn for himself, his mom cannot be following him around picking up after him all the time". I know that because they did the same to my scatterbrained kid.

    One thing that I do know is that being gifted doesn't give you a free ticket to anything. It just offers up an initial advantage in processing of materials. It doesn't matter if a student can process materials and concepts faster than others, unless the student can use this to his own advantage and develop a good work ethic which will carry him the next step. If the student is not willing/unable to capitalize on that advantage for some reason being gifted just becomes a burden.
  7. :Hugs: You need to set up a parent-teacher conference. Is he getting extended time on exams and does he go to resource room? Maybe these are somethings that he needs in order for him to do well academically.
  8. I'm sorry. It shouldn't be this frustrating.

    Maybe the school offers special allowances for situations like this.

    When it was thought that I had ADD, school was an issue for me; not just because of the homework (which we established set routines for) but in the class as well. It got to the point where teachers gave daily progress reports to my parents telling them how I did in class that day.

    I used to draw in class. Not just doodles, but full-on pictures. One thing we tried was that if I got tempted to start drawing when I wasn't supposed to, I had a Koosh ball at my desk and I would fiddle with that.

    Also, removing the drawing supplies from my desk helped, too.

    My parents pretty much prevented me from taking anything that could be posed as a distraction to school.

    Kids with ADD / ADHD are easily distracted by things that don't interest them.

    Maybe you could find things out of his subjects that spark his interest.

    I found these:

    This one's for teachers dealing with students but hopefully some of the tips might be helpful.

  9. Sorry, forgot to add:

    Are you familiar with this book?

    Driven To Distraction : Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood.

    This was my parents' Bible.

    Description from Amazon:

    This clear and valuable book dispels a variety of myths about attention deficit disorder (ADD). Since both authors have ADD themselves, and both are successful medical professionals, perhaps there's no surprise that the two myths they attack most persistently are: (a) that ADD is an issue only for children; and (b) that ADD corresponds simply to limited intelligence or limited self-discipline. "The word disorder puts the syndrome entirely in the domain of pathology, where it should not entirely be. Although ADD can generate a host of problems, there are also advantages to having it, advantages that this book will stress, such as high energy, intuitiveness, creativity, and enthusiasm, and they are completely overlooked by the 'disorder' model." The authors go on to cite Mozart and Einstein as examples of probable ADD sufferers. (The problem as they see it is not so much attention deficit but attention inconsistency: "Most of us with ADD can in fact hyperfocus at times.") Although they warn against overdiagnosis, they also do a convincing job of answering the criticism that "everybody, and therefore nobody" has ADD. Using numerous case studies and a discussion of the way ADD intersects with other conditions (e.g., depression, substance abuse, and obsessive-compulsive disorder), they paint a concrete picture of the syndrome's realities. Especially helpful are the lists of tips for dealing with ADD in a child, a partner, or a family member. --Richard Farr

    Little joke for ya . . . ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactiv I really like baseball!
  10. I am sorry you are dealing with teachers who do not respond and probably a school system that is not offering your son the help he might need.
    One of my best friends has a son in 1st grade that needs some help. He has problems with understanding the reading part of tests, he needs help with a aid explaining it to him. So the school has him in one special class I think for one hour a week. Not acceptable with his test grades being C-D. My friend fights the school over and over, I mean she did not give up. Now he has a aid help him on reading tests and he is getting A's. I know there is a name for what he has and it is not ADHD but the bottom line is her child needs help and the school did not want to give him it.
    So I would just try to fight every way you can for your child getting the help he needs so everything is not so stressful to him. I also agree that some teachers punish what they may see as a difficult child because they just can't be bothered.
    I wish you the best, hang in there because I am sure you will get your voice heard.
  11. I suspect my ds1 may have ADD but his teachers do not feel he has it (ds2 has autism).

    DS1 came home with similar grades last quarter. We worked on his focus issues and I did alot of research on vitamins and supplements b/c he is addicted to bread products (wheat/gluten). He's a brilliant kid who is a whiz at art, math and music but he's not terribly interested in rote type of work like answering reading comprehension questions. And he definitely showed an attitude problem in the classroom.

    I don't know about your son but we cut down on the computer and video game play. (I used to tell ds1 to play on his Nintendo b/c I had my hands full with it was my fault there) Worked on a lot of practice tests at home. The hardest part was to get him to read fiction for reading comprehension practice. He reads nonfiction with no problem... but the fiction stuff was pretty difficult for him. And we watched him closely for any infractions, like badmouthing, asking for too many priviledges or material rewards. It took almost a whole quarter to get him back on track with these drills and the vitamins.

    We're happier with the results this quarter but I know it can be hard for children on the spectrum to have school come easily like it does for other kids -- I see my ds2 and it breaks my heart sometimes). I used to go bonkers because I wanted my son to be the perfect "A" student but then I realized I had to back off and work with him yet also apply the proper punishment -- he got into a heated scuffle with a classmate earlier in the week and he understood that he forfeited Friday nite out with us.

    Just keep up your confidence in him and you'll make him feel that what he does is worth it. HTH and that I didn't ramble on too much...
  12. Do you think maybe he's bored? My son didnt do well in math in 6th grade. Somehow because he fiddles with his pencil and gets distracted, they thought he had ADHD and put him in low math. He kept telling me he was bored so I talked to the teacher. She said if he continues looking out the window and playing with his pencil she would not move him up. I waited a few weeks, and still no feedback, yet he got an A+. I went over there heads and went to the principal. The principal didnt move him to the middle group, he moved him to the high level and he did great. Not only that but he got an award from Johns Hopkins for mathematics that same summer (after spending 3/4 of the year in low math! He's 12 and taking Algebra One for high school now.

    But when he was not properly stimulated, he'd just lose complete interest and be bored. He brought home report cards very similar to your son's sometimes. Sometimes ADHD is a sign of extreme intelligence. They confuse the two. Your son likes the piano, he sounds like a very smart boy. Its very frusterating but you always have to ask for feedback, set up meetings, etc. Like I told my son "mommy's gonna put her boxing gloves on for ya". Teachers are very quick to label children with ADD, ADHD, etc. When I was in grammar school none of that existed.
  13. I would agree with this. I butted heads over this with my ds' 2nd grade teacher. DS1 appeared to have hyperlexia (he was recognizing words by age 3) so he'd read all these advanced books in school but not being able to comprehend much of what he was reading and the teacher was not very understanding. She expected him to read at the advanced levels not taking into account the hyperlexia. It would have been better to give him reading material like the rest of the class but more challenging assignments based on the reading.

    She also did not guide him much. During one classroom visit, I found her post-it notes to him saying "this is the last time I'm telling you to do this" without spending time with him. She had to work more with the kids who had the standard reading difficulties to bring them up to speed. He was advanced in math and told me several times he was bored silly having to wait for the other kids to catch up b/c he was not allowed to continue further. So his mind wandered off for a great deal of the time and he seemed to be daydreaming when the teacher finally called on him. The teacher was a hardworking teacher, but I always felt his eccentricities seemed to irk her and she felt it made more work for her.

    Whenever I brought up my concerns, she seemed on the defensive... so, it becomes this thing where I have to figure out, which battles are parents suppose to take on? It's tough to hear it's your kid's "problem".... and you know it doesn't need to be that.
  14. berryblondeboys,

    I'm so sorry to hear that your son is having a hard time. I'm not a parent so I really don't have advice for you. But my boyfriend got HORRIBLE grades all through school in math and science -- pretty much every class. He was just too bright and too bored to be at the school he was in, and I think his attitude didn't help things. Teachers so often seem to play favorites -- I was always a favorite and I've seen how that has changed my transcript, and he was ALWAYS the kid who teachers loved to pick on... his report cards reflect that, too. It didn't help that his parents never wanted to stick up for him with school administration either.

    But he ended up MAJORING in math AND economics at University of Chicago, where neither is a joke. He took the Putnam (a test PhD students take) before he graduated high school and scored amazingly well, which was why he was admitted despite his horrible school record.

    Ever since I began dating him, I have become incredibly mistrustful of teachers and the public school system (not sure if your son is in public or private). I think they are just not equipped to deal with truly gifted children. Maybe your son is really bored by the work.