Miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss support thread

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  1. So sorry Coronita. I lost 2 babies within 3 months in 2010. It is tough but it does get easier; just take it day by day. When I fell pregnant again with DS, there wasn't a day that I didn't worry about whether he would make it. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Give yourself time.
  2. I learned that I was pregnant on Jan 31st, I was happy and it's been 13 years since my last pregnancy. Being over 35 I understood that I was considered "high risk" but I remained positive and embraced the thought of becoming a Mother once again. My first prenatal appt was at 7 weeks the dr was unable to detect a heartbeat and said that I measured more like 5 weeks instead of 7. She was concerned but didn't want me to panic. I went back at 9 weeks and nothing had changed, the dr's prognosis was pregnancy loss. I was devastated, hoped that she was wrong, kept the faith, prayed continuously and remained positive. My HCG levels were dropping and last week the miscarriage occurred naturally. I just returned to work today and physically I'm here however mentally and emotionally...I'm lost and upset. They say everything happens for a reason but I have yet to discover what exactly the reason is.

  3. {{hugs}} I'm so so sorry.
    Empty arms are a heartbreak :rain:

    I miscarried 15 years ago around this time at the 14 week stage, I've Endemetriosis and have never been able to conceive again. I'm now 40 and have closed the door on that stage of my life, I'm trying to move on and become healthy again after over a decade of useless trying and unsuccessful treatments.
    Thinking of all us women who are grieving for our lost babies today.

  4. I'm in this exact same boat. Preggo for the 3rd time and so scared.
  5. Having a miscarriage is an awful situation. Most mother undergo the process of loss or DABDA, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I pray for the lost souls of your babies.
  6. I loss my baby on Friday March 6th.I was 8 1/2 weeks.It would have been our 4th.I am devastated and just trying to find my way again.It was a very painful miscarriage.I think it was a combination of things.We are selling our home.My dad lives with us.He has Frontal Lobe Dementia it's like having another child taking care of him and I just had so many other things running through my head.I have always been a stay at home mom and my priorities has always been family.I think I was just going a 100 mph and needed to just rest.I hope to try again after our lives are more settled later in the year.I commend everyone that has fought through their tragedies and I will pray for you all.Please pray for my family and I as we try to get through the this.

  7. I have said a prayer for you and for your family. My heart goes out to you.
  8. Thank you coachtags I appreciate that xoxo

  9. Prayers for you :hugs:
    But please don't blame yourself, I miscarried when my parents were undergoing a very nasty divorce. I've always wondered 'what if I had been pregnant at another less stressful time' but sadly I'll never know. Just hang in there and let yourself grieve/feel how you need to feel. It sounds as if you are having a bad time. Prayers that it passes soon x
  10. Are big hugs welkome aswell? Hugs.
  11. Lots of prayers and I'll light a candle for your lost little soul.
  12. I am so disturbed right now. My hubby lives in Germany and got here Feb 28th and was here for 3 weeks, he left yesterday. Yesterday I started feeling some slight back pain and abdominal cramps, which I attributed to it being menstrual, since I was supposed to be getting my period today. Well, today I was in EXTREME lower back pain and abdominal cramps, I have never felt anything like it. This is not normal at all for me and my period. I was feeling very nauseous today and on and off for about a week. I took pain meds for my symptoms (which I never do, I always tough out anything, I do not like taking medicine) and it did not do a thing for me.

    Well, I started to bleed a little and I figured I would take a shower, but before doing so, I wanted to do a few pull ups on my pull up bar...so naturally there was a lot of straining while doing so and I felt something start to come out...I ran to the bathroom thinking it was just blood but when I grabbed some toilet paper to wipe...this THING came out. I freaked out and threw it in the tub. I knew what it was. I am 99% sure I miscarried and I did not even know I was pregnant. As soon as it was out I realized the back pain was relieved. After googling photos of what a potential early miscarriage looks like, the resemblance is uncanny. This...tissue/thing that came out of me is even vascular.

    I called hubby and a few friends and showed pics and we all definitely think it is a miscarriage. I have to make an appointment this week now. Hubby is devastated because we have been fighting A LOT and I have been so stressed this semester. I am a full-time pre-med student at an intense medically oriented university...we got married in December but our wedding is this May on the 2nd and I have been planning the whole thing myself. My parents have put the pressure on us having it and i am just doing it for them but nobody has lifted a finger to help me plan this whole thing. On top of that hubby's ex who is an atrocious human being and has made his life hell....well, we found out she is a heroin addict and that the state of NY took his daughter from her but nobody ever contacted him.

    So he has been flying to NY for court hearings and we have a custody battle now to get full custody of his 8 yr old daughter. Things have been so stressful. We have been fighting and even went to counseling while he was here and now THIS. He is so devastated and is blaming himself.

    I feel so ashamed, I do not know why. It is such a strange feeling. This just happened like 4 hours ago. I do not know how to tell my parents because I think they need to know what I have been going through, I am currently living with them until my semester is over and until after the wedding when I will be able to move to Germany.

    I am not sure how I am going to handle this. I have cried with my hubby on facetime and now I just feel like I am in shock and feel very ashamed.
  13. I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. It's not your fault or your husbands, sometimes mother nature takes back what isn't hers to give yet.

    Big hug
  14. Thank you. I was seen today and they did a urine pregnancy test and it was negative. That surprised everyone but after seeing the photo of what I passed, the healthcare provider was uncomfortable. He was awkward, he was like "yeah, well...it wasn't your time bla bla" but he didn't want to flat out say "you miscarried." Maybe it was uncomfortable for him. I think Ive been handling everything well, mostly because I had no clue about the whole thing. Thanks for the support, I hope I can keep it together the next 5 weeks (finals, wedding, graduate add court custody hearing).
  15. I think most healthcare providers and medical people are uncomfortable with "bad news". That is why as a person who gas seen plenty of doctor in her life I flat out demand they are honest with me, and keep their language simple.

    If you feel like crying, cry. There is nothing to be ashamed off. Talk with your husband about it too, you need to process this together. -Hugs once more-