MILs birthday, cheap SIL and birthday cake

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  1. Argh-I don't even know where to start with this one-I am just annoyed. OK-I am married to a man with 2 sisters, both of whom are quite a bit older than him (he was an OOPS! baby). I have spoken of the oldest SIL before, I will call her Cheapo for sake of this story-the stories are endless with this one-but, anyway..............

    We throw a Christmas party every year-at least for the last 8 years now. I am not stingy when it comes to inviting people to my home-I go all out and make sure there is tons of food for everybody, tons of drink and tons of goodies. Everyone knows this about me-I got it from my Italian grandmother who always used to say that better there are leftovers than someone goes wanting. The party costs us a pretty penny, etc etc.

    Now, my husband's family always come. It is my MIL's birthday on Dec. 24th (welll-we found out a long time ago that her actual birthday is Dec. 11th-but, she had always said it was Dec. 24th-we found out the real date when i found her papers from when she came to this country back in the late 30s). So, it is still celebrated by everyone on Dec. 24th. Every year the Cheapo SIL wants to have a birthday cake for my MIL-I personally would prefer not to-being a christian I would rather just celebrate the Christmas holiday and celebrate MILs birthday another day-but, whatever, i get outvoted every year on this.

    So, every year, cheapo SIL gets a birthday cake for MIL which she proceeds to ask her brother (my husband) and her sister (we will call her other SIL) to chip in for. This bugs me to no end, because, first of all-why can't you pay for a birthday cake for your own mother?? Her and her husband are far from destitute and paying for a cake won't hurt them in the least. Besides the fact that no matter how many people I have here for Christmas, she always gets a small cake-just for show basically, and never takes into consideration the amount of people here who might want some. The cakes she buys are always from BJs (like Costco-big warehouse stores), so , they are cheap-I am talking $12 birthday cakes. I personally find it very tacky of her to go around at our Christmas party asking her brother and sister for $4 a piece to chip in for mom's cake. Now, you are probably thinking-well, she is their mother too, why shouldn't they pay for the cake also? That is a good point, I guess it just bugs me that it is always her idea to get the cake, she chooses where to get it-what kind to get, what size and all and then brings it here not caring about anyone else's opinion on it and then wants money for it. Can you tell I have issues with this woman? LOL

    Which brings me to my real point of posting. So, this year, no exception, she again is bringing the birthday cake. Christmas, as you know, is this coming Monday. She bought the cake this past Friday! She said she went to BJs for something else and since she was there already, she got the cake! Hubby and I freaked out on her about getting a bakery cake over a week before time and how it was going to be cr-p-etc. etc. She claims she thought Christmas was this past Monday-but, her hubby told us on the sly that that wasn't true-she just didn't want to be bothered going back again just for a cake-so, bought it anyway.

    After hubby and I said that it would be garbage sitting around for a week (she was whining that she couldn't bring it back because she had had it personalized already)-she then said she would put it in her freezer for a week and then bring it. Which we still didn't like and told her we thought it would be awful after being frozen-a bakery cake wasn't meant to be frozen like that-bla bla bla. It is not something we would do-we like our cakes fresh and always pick it up at the bakery that day-perhaps the day before. But, this is a woman who brought a 13 year old bottle of apple cider to her son's house for Thanksgiving! You should have seen what this looked like-ugh!

    Anyway-after much back and forth and a not nice scene between hubby and SIL-SIL says she is bringing the cake anyway and that she would eat it and MIL would eat it and they wouldn't die. SIL also said that since we were so upset for "no reason", the cake would be her treat. We said fine-do whatever you like.

    Today I get an email form her saying that she happened to be at BJs again and asked the bakery department about freezing the cake and they said it was fine-it is done all the time. That is all she said about it. Now, hubby feels that she will ask us and other SIL for money for the cake since BJs says it is good., I told hubby, just because BJs says it is ok doesn't mean we have to give her money, since our opinion is still that it will s--k!

    So, again, I guess this sounds petty in a way-but, things like this go on all the time and there is tons of back story to this woman. So, if she goes back on it being her treat because BJs says it is fine to freeze and asks hubby for money-do we give it to her or not? I don't even know if she will ask or not-and, it is Christmas, I don't want a fight in the house, but, the whole thing irks me to no end....................

    If you made it this far-thank you. If you think I am just being a whiney PITA about it all-that is fine too. Sometimes when it comes to hubby's family-I get nutso-LOL
  2. I never like to talk about how nutsy my MIL for fear that people will think I am exaggarating, but that sounds just like the way that she is. Except that she would leave the cake out on her kitchen counter for a week before serving it:cursing:

    I think it is easier to give her the $4 or whatever it is that she wants than to worry about it.

    And maybe you should be a "helpful" SIL and offer her the phone number for a financial planner. After all, if she is so destitute that she can't afford a cake...:roflmfao:

    My MIL insists on going to restaurants that no one (including her) likes when she has a coupon and then if someone complains, she starts in with the "well, maybe you can afford to throw away money, but we can't" nonsense.
  3. Hah!! that sounds like the Aunt that would bring a cake over when she visited and then take home the leftovers when she left. My Mom would go crazy!!

    I would just give her the money.. I know its irritating.. but not worth it. Next year I would tell her.. I am taking care of the cake
  4. Maybe you should ask the SIL for her share of the cost of the party at your house!!
  5. I read it all of it!! :smile:

    I think you should provide your own cake!! her up and make her pay up!
  6. <<My MIL insists on going to restaurants that no one (including her) likes when she has a coupon and then if someone complains, she starts in with the "well, maybe you can afford to throw away money, but we can't" nonsense.>>

    OMG!!! Your MIL and my SIL could be the same person! Are you secretly married to my nephew?
    She does the exact same thing-if it's cheap-she will eat there. doesn't matter if the food is terrible-it is SUCH a bargain-you get soooo much food! And, if hubby and I say we didn't like the food, well, we are just food snobs and not every place is a gourmet french restaurant (our current favorite restaurant happens to be a local french place) :rolleyes:
  7. OMG! She does that too! She will also take back the gift bag your gift came in and many times while out to eat with her, she will ask you if you are going to take home anything left on your plate because she wants to. :wtf:

  8. Now I am truly scared -- if I am not married to your nephew, that means that there are two women that act like that:confused1:

    We cannot take her to any place that we like because she will complain that there is something wrong with the food to get a discount on the bill and then tip 10% for excellent service.

    I cannot hear the word "bargain" without cringing any more:sad:
  9. Your SIL has got some nerve. If she gives you a bill for the cake bill her for the Christmas spread you put out. Clue her in on how much Christmas costs you to entertain the family every year. You need to get tough with this one. She's a real winner.:rant: :censor:
  10. lol!!! I agree with Kat!!! Do not let her get away with this. Does your hubby tell her what he thinks?
  11. :roflmfao: Your SIL sounds hilarious. Glad I don't have to deal with her though. Keep those $4! It's a matter of principle.
  12. Ugh Nishi you poor thing!! Your MIL and SIL sound like such PITAs!!!

    If I were you, when your SIL comes around collecting money from everyone, I would politely hand over my $4 and sweetly ask "would you like me to include interest? I would be happy to throw in an extra 20 cents or so".


  13. Well, my MIL is a PITA-but, a different type of one than my SIL! And, that wouldn't work with SIL-she would take it-LOL. You should hear the stories my nephews, her sons (now grown men of 43 & 38) tell of her-OY!

    Here's another brief SIL story. Hubby and family have some cousins who are very wealthy. One of these cousins has a son who is severely mentally handicapped. They had a bar mitzvah for this child a few years ago-a gala, 2 day affair to beat the band! On the invites they requested that instead of gifts to please give a donation to the special school this child attended-they included the address.

    Well, at the bar mitzvah cheapo SIL tells me and hubby that she gave the parents of the boy a coffee maker from Gevalia (you know-the monthly coffee club coffee people that give you the free coffee maker when you first sign up?) instead of a gift since they didn't want any gifts for the child. When asked by my hubby why didn't she send a donation to the school like requested, she just said "Pfft, why would I do that?"
  14. ^OMG that is AWFUL!!
  15. Wow!!!! I don't have any advice on the whole situation, I just wanted to wish you "good luck" w/ your crazy SIL over the Holiday season. I feel bad for you having to deal w/ this every year. Good luck w/ your party, have the drinks flowing!!!!:P